Moving On

I blogged very consistently for several years, but writing about my life has seriously dwindled for about the past three years.

A very sick spouse, grief and moving on into a new relationship have contributed to my absence.

But more so is this complete 180 in a particular aspect of my personality. The part of who I was that is kind of necessary to be a blogger: wearing my heart on my sleeve.

I kind of don't anymore.

Since Mark's death, I have become much more private about my personal thoughts and feelings.

And I don't know why.

I didn't need or want much help navigating my grief. I took the first year after my husband's death to JUST BE, to get comfortable with being a widow and with what life looked like without Mark (and everything that came with him) in it. I knew I was strong enough to get through it, and I guess I wanted to do it on my own.

(I am still an open book, however. If you ask me something, I'll answer honestly and from my heart. That will never change.)

Shortly after that first year, I decided I wanted to start dating. This was a surprise to me, as I had once thought I would have no desire to do so for a long time after my loss. Since I surprised myself with wanting to date, I didn't feel like I could adequately explain it to anyone else, so I kept quiet.

Just four months into online dating, I met a wonderful man and fell in love. Over the last 7 1/2 months, not only have I been all ushy-gushy over Sweet Man -- savoring every bit of it -- and again, staying pretty quiet (about our relationship) because I decided I don't care what anyone thinks about it.

Especially if there are any judgments floating around.

Fuck that. Don't need it. Not gonna have it.

I have earned my happiness and have zero desire to justify it to anyone.

For the record, I have no idea if anyone is harboring any negative judgments about how I've handled widowhood and finding love again. Maybe there aren't any. Probably not, honestly. But if there are, I don't care to know, so why would I open that particular can of worms by being all hey, look at me, my husband died and I've found love again....what do you think of that!?

I'm just over here living my life.

And I'm not sure I have anything else to say, to write about.

Sure, I'm still experiencing things, learning and growing and gaining wisdom and all that shit. But I don't find myself feeling the need to pontificate about any of it. I don't think I have anything unique to offer the world by sharing the things I go through publically.

I'm not special. I don't have more wisdom than anyone else (well, maybe a little about some things), and I don't want to be open to public criticism.

I'm also not willing to compare my relationships with Mark and Sweet Man. Those details of my life are too private and really only for me to think about.

Then there are my children. Well, my daughter is almost 18 and it's not really for me to chronicle her adult life. I don't feel it's appropriate to write much about my foster daughter because she's a ward of the state and there's a still on-going criminal case against her father. My son is in middle school, plays the bass clarinet and Fortnite and, well, big kids just aren't as interesting as babies and little kids, are they? Heck, even Jill Smokler, who founded Scary Mommy, has moved on from mom blogging!

Perhaps something will change in the future, and there is a lot of posterity here that I want to keep somehow, but it seems to me that my personal blogging journey has run its course.

I enjoy writing so maybe I will try to do some other form of it, but who knows?

Remember, I'm very Zen about these things.

7 Year Blogiversary

This humble, little space on the web is seven years old today.

This blog and I have been through a lot together. From knowing absolutely nothing when I set it up, to blogging like a fiend about a lot of dumb things, to finding my focus, to life getting more intense and time-consuming, to quiet introspection.

10 Months Since My Husband Died

I had a string of things happen last week that jabbed at my heart and my brain (and exhausted me) to the point that I'm certain the Universe was trying to validate something I was mulling over.

You know how women have been particularly pissed off since last November, to the point that there was the biggest protest EVER the day after the inauguration? Then, last Wednesday was International Women's Day, when women were encouraged to participate in "A Day Without a Woman".

This isn't really about that. Per se.

A Funny Thing Happened

I am in an odd place.

A hard to explain place.

I think I've said that a lot over the past year or so. But now it's, like, more.

For the last three weeks, I have been thinking and noodling and pondering just what is going on with me. Where am I at? What do I want to say? Do I have anything to say?

That last question is the most important because you see, I recently read something another blogger wrote in which she was giving new blogger advice. One piece jumped out at me and I have been chewing on it ever since. She said to write what you want to read.

Blogging Existentialism

For the entire last year it has been difficult for me to get my stuff out here. To write.

To share my life with whoever is interested.

This bothers me so much. I remember, like, four years ago, as I was getting all gung-ho about blogging, that I would often come across other bloggers who were complaining of writer's block and time constraints or whathaveyou thinking, "that'll never be me. I never seem to have a shortage of things to write about and the words just flow....".

Yet here I am.

I want so badly to be able to write for other sites, to lend my perspective where appropriate, to a wider audience, and maybe even be paid for it (is that OK to say?). But if I can't even manage to maintain my personal blog any more than once a week -- for myself -- how am I supposed to write for anyone else?

*scratches head.

I Am Poem

Hey you guys! This? This right here that you're reading? It's my 1000th post!!

What in the world should I write for my 1000th post??

Well....

A couple or three years ago many bloggers I read were writing "I Am" poems. I didn't at that time, but saved the template for it in my favorites, hoping I would one day set to writing one of my own.

This appears to be as good a time as any.

Why Am I Still Blogging?

Five years ago today I set up a Blogger account, created a blog I cleverly titled "Just Jennifer" and wrote my very first post.

I had no idea what I was doing. I had no clue about blogging, the "blogoshere", the hops, link-ups, memes, community or Twitter. I remained clueless for the entire first year. I didn't even think anyone besides my mom and my bestie would ever read it. I thought blogging was merely an online form of journaling.

(Why I thought that I don't know. Why write online if you don't want people to read it?)

Over the course of the next four years, however, my little bloggy mind expanded and things evolved into what you see now.

It's been very organic and Zen, for the most part. I mean, I'm not dumb, I have learned a little about SEO and social media engagement, thinking up clever post titles and how to create pinnable images in order to maybe have my writing read by a few other people than my mom and bestie.

There's the rub. I realized I wanted to be read by others. Potentially by lots of others. In getting to know other bloggers, their niches and whathaveyous, I discovered that I have a unique, and maybe even interesting, perspective on life.

Desperately Seeking Balance

Once a week? Twice a week?

That's all I can manage to blog?

I don't like it.

It's making me sad.

I know many bloggers struggle to post regularly. But I never have. This is foreign to me.

Sure, sometimes my posts are fluff. Sometimes they're sponsored. Right now, though, I have thought after thought after feeling that I'd like to write about. Flesh them out, both for my benefit and someone else's.

Getting Back Into It: A Brain Dump

So I've taken nearly two weeks off from publishing anything here.

It's been good, but my blog has been on my mind the entire time. I've been thinking non-stop about so many things I could write.

It's funny, before I started to blog 4 1/2 years ago, I didn't fret over such things. Now that I do blog, it's like I HAVE to. Blogging is like crack.

Know what else is funny, that I feel the need to write about how much I've been thinking about writing before I can get on with what I want to say.

Thinking about what to share is clogging my brain so that actually doing the sharing is hindered!

Blogging Over the Holidays

Three, two, two....

Those numbers are how many times each of the weeks of December I have published a post. Apparently I squeezed out three the first week, but only two posts each of the following weeks.

When I am one who normally blogs three or four times every week.

But it's the Holidays. Not to mention, MY LIFE as of late.

I have been ten times busier in my everyday life since my husband's hospital stay in September. It has been a lot of work on my part (even with help) to keep everything running smoothly for us.

My blog is my refuge....but I haven't been able to get to it as much as I'd like. It makes me sad. But also in a way, it doesn't.

Because while blogging makes me feel good, so does taking care of my family.

I actually kind of hate it when bloggers feel the need to explain why they've been blogging less, or might need a break, to their readers.

How to Survive NaBloPoMo

Ah November!

AKA, National Novel Writing Month (NaNoWriMo) or National Blog Posting Month (NaBloPoMo).

It is about writing every day. To either crank out an entire novel or 30 consecutive blog posts.

I am not a novel writer (nor do I have any aspirations therein), but I am a blogger and I have completed two NaBlos.

Oy. The second one made me swear them off entirely. I became downright sick of myself!

My theory is that NaBloPoMo is especially good for bloggers who need a push, who have fallen off the blogging wagon and want to get back on, or maybe newbies who are looking for the learning and networking to be gained.

So, perhaps you've planned ahead, plotting out what you will post each day of this month. Or maybe you decided to take the plunge at the last minute and are flying by the seat of your pants.

Confessions of a Blogger: Spreading Bloggy Social Media Love

Bloggers love getting comments on their posts. As long as they're not from ugly internet trolls or spammers, that is.

I love them too, don't get me wrong.

But here's the thing, another aspect of this blogging gig is the use of social media to tell people about our posts so they will get read in the first place.

The social media platforms are busy, and different from one another. Twitter streams fly by right before our eyes, Facebook continues to change the rules on us and so many of us still don't fully get Google+....

10 Things a Blogger Does when Her internet is Down

If you follow me on social media you may have seen my whining about my internet being broken one day last week.

I'm sorry, but THINGS SHOULD JUST WORK!

Also, I'm a blogger. The web is kind of important to me, right?

Just be happy you didn't have to hear as much of my angst as my husband did.

So what does someone who NEEDS the internet on a daily basis do when she is forced to go without?

This Time Last Year

October of 2013 saw some changes around this lil blog, and I thought I'd like to take a look back. Won't you join me?

The biggest thing is that I changed the name of my blog from "Just Jennifer" to "Dancing in the Rain". I have been so very happy with that decision! It just so much better represents me and what I'm doing here than a name that millions of other women share.

Ask Jen Blog Post Series

The View From Here has had its year in the sun and is winding down (last post will be 9/25).

I have thought of something new to try, however. Not another guest post series....although it could be, maybe, a way for ME to guest post for others....

This idea has actually been knocking about my head for quite awhile. Ever since I had you guys ask me questions for my blogiversary in 2012.

I got lots of questions! So many that I did a series of posts to answer them.

5 Random Either/Or Questions

I recently noticed that I haven't joined any new blog hops in awhile. A pretty big part of blogging is connecting and getting to know other bloggers.

In this, I have slacked. Shame on me.

Imma totally play the "my husband had all these surgeries and I was mainly concentrating on just writing decent posts for y'all and staying consistent in at least that" card.

How I Choose Who to Follow on Social Media

So....this is going to be a totally honest, transparent look at my thought processes as I click on follow buttons (or don't) around the Internet.

Think you can handle it?

Haha, "handle". Get it?

I don't think anything I'm about to say will be mean. It's just....well....honest. Take it for what it is, though: just one girl's way of picking and choosing who she wants to keep up with via social media.

7 Tips to Present a User Friendly Blog

There are several things about the layout and appearance of a blog, as well as accessibility of social media following options, that I always take notice of when visiting other blogs. They are things that guide my own blog layout, and therefor, I obviously like. Some things are my personal preference (but my preferences are right!), others I've noticed on obviously successful blogs, and then some I have taken under advisement from other credible sources.

Uh, yes, I am a credible source too, gosh darnit!

The View From Here: Four Years a Blogger

Why yes, the View is a day early this week, thanks for noticing.

The reason is, I figured I might as well commandeer my own series for my

Four Year Blogiversary!

Which is today. I set up this here blog on April 30, 2010.

There was my husband's health, the kids, we were in escrow on our house. Big changes were coming for us. .....why not set up a blog? I had no clue what was looming in my life, nor in my journey as a blogger.

Setting up my catchy but lamely named "Just Jennifer" was easy. Too easy, one might say. It's definitely been a work in progress.

So where am I at with blogging four years later? I'm glad you asked.

__________

Four Years a Blogger

I absolutely love, love, LOVE blogging. It has been the best thing I've ever done for myself.

I could stop right there. That's all I really need to say about it.

But I know there are still many people who don't quite get it. So I will elaborate.

The View From Here: The "American Blogger" Movie

Soooo....raise your hand if you've heard about a documentary coming out titled "American Blogger".

Quite a bit of controversy has erupted over it.

I must admit, I have felt my share of irritation over it.

Today, Elaine of The miss-Elaine-ous Life shares her View of the hoopla.

__________

My View of "American Blogger" (so far)

Last week I went through a range of emotions after seeing the “American Blogger” trailer that many people were talking about.  As I watched it for the first time I thought “how pretty” and also “how very singular”.  I immediately wondered why the film was titled “American Blogger” when it simply did not seem to represent the true scope of those of us that blog in this country.  I saw very little diversity.