September 29, 2014

How I Feel About Doing a Charity Walk

My husband is a Type 1 Diabetic (juvenile onset/insulin dependent) and has been since the age of nine (he's almost 46). He suffers from many of the complications associated with the disease, including kidney failure, for which he has been on in-center hemodialysis for the last 12 1/2 years.

And that ain't even the half of it!

Over the 20 years we've been together I've had myself quite the education on Diabetes. Heck, I even had Gestational Diabetes (very similar to Type 2) in both of my pregnancies.

But I've also built up a bit of a hard heart and even bitterness toward the idea that the "powers that be" could actually be trying to find a cure.

To me it feels like Diabetes is thought of as just a "condition" MILLIONS of people have to "deal" with, it's completely manageable and "if you just keep your blood sugars in good control you'll be fine".

I hate to burst anyone's bubble, but that simply hasn't been what I've observed about the disease.

Yes, I am sure that good blood sugar control is indeed helpful in staving off diabetic complications. However, that's just not all there is to it.

I liken it to a tornado. You know how they (tornadoes) often hit one house but skip the one right next to it? They're random, and what they do and don't destroy doesn't always make sense. That's how Diabetes is.

I have known diabetics who could be the poster children for exactly how to manage the disease, who still have complications. I have met others who ignore their blood sugars and have no complications.

Considering everything this disease has put my husband through, and still is putting him through, I pretty much hate it.

So when my daughter wrote an essay for school in which she said her dad is her role model and she wants to help others with Diabetes....well, let's just say I had to chew on that one for awhile.

Not the part about her dad being her role model. I mean, of course he is. That's easy for me to understand. But wanting to help with Diabetes, maybe raise money to find a cure?

Humph! Really?

I know I've said a lot of this already, but the point I'm trying to get to is that this whole idea.....even after signing up to do the Seattle Step Out Walk this weekend....has been a struggle for me. I even kinda, sorta hoped Camryn would lose interest so I wouldn't have to do it.

I asked my mother-in-law if not actually doing the Walk, after family and friends made donations (some really big), would be an asshole move on my part. She thought not, since we still raised money, and considering everything Mark and I have been dealing with.

Even though someone had given me permission to back out, I was still on the fence. I decided to check in with Camryn, who told me she totally still wants to do it.

I said OK and thought on it some more.

I ended up with this: Everything we've been going through with Mark is exactly why we should do this Walk. I should not let our problems win. We need to do what feels right to us, at any given moment.

And seriously, Diabetes is pissing me off quite a bit right about now. Perhaps I should channel that anger into something positive. At least once.

September 25, 2014

The View From Here: What We Think We Know

Welcome to the last View From Here guest post!

Today I bring you Shell of Things I Can't Say, which was one of the very first other blogs I discovered when I finally noticed that blogging was such a big thing. Since then, Shell has been a bit of a bloggy mentor to me, just by doing what she does, by her example.

In fact, she's such a cool blogger that, with help from a few other bloggers, Shell recently launched The Soccer Moms, dedicated to parents of active kids. Really great idea for a blog!

I think Shell's post for us is a perfect note to end The View From Here on.

What We Think We Know

It’s so easy to make assumptions based on what we see of someone. The way they look, dress, the car they drive, the house they live in, their kids, what we see them doing.

We think we know.

September 22, 2014

10 Things I Think About When My Husband is in the Hospital

My husband has been in the hospital for a week now. He has had two procedures, one leaving an 18 inch incision running down his chest, and several cocktails of antibiotics.

He hopes each day might be his last (in the hospital, I mean), but then something else crops up.

Today is a regular dialysis day so they took him for the treatment....but his Quinton catheter is running slow now. Are they going to have to put a new one in? That's another procedure. Sigh.

I feel so badly for Mark. He isn't getting good sleep and he's hardly eating. A plastic surgeon was supposed to come see him about that chest incision, but just didn't over the weekend.

So yeah, hospital stays pretty much suck. And every time, there are many things running through my mind.

September 19, 2014

Life is Too Short

Life is too short for....

Beating your head up against the wall, never to accept the things you can't change.

That last phrase obviously refers to the serenity prayer:

I live by it. I have a small printout of it in a cheap blue frame on my bathroom wall.

September 18, 2014

The View From Here: Blended Family Bliss

For the second to the last week of "The View From Here", I bring you a man.

Lance Burson is a writer living outside Atlanta, Georgia with his wife and 3 daughters.
He's a published author of 2 books, The Ballad Of Helene Troy and Soul To Body,
available on for kindle and in paperback.
He co-runs the politics and pop culture site, Lefty Pop - Suckers For Politics And Pop Culture

Blended Family Bliss

I'm terrible at taking compliments, but my favorite one is when people find out my wife and 3 daughters and I constitute a blended family and say "oh, wow, I could've sworn you guys had been together from the start."

September 17, 2014

The Ninth Day of 9th Grade

I'm a late with this.

But ya know, husband in the hospital and all that....

Also though, the teenager leaves for school at 6:15 in the morning.

Ain't nobody in the mood for picture taking at that hour!

So I give you....

On the 11th day. Whatever.

September 15, 2014

Admitted to the Hospital

It may seem silly for me to think about blogging when my husband has just been admitted to the hospital to treat an infection....

The thing is, he and that are a huge reason why I blog. It is my desire to blog my way through the craziness that is Mark's chronic illnesses. For me/us and for others. It's our story, our journey.

So I will keep writing.

September 11, 2014

The View From Here: An American's Reflections on England

The View this week is coming from Jill Robbins of Ripped Jeans and Bifocals.
(Great name for a blog!)

She is RIGHT NOW in the process of moving from England back to Texas.
I wonder if the two places have anything in common....?
I don't know, but Jill is sharing here with us today what she
will and won't miss about living in the UK.

Reflections Upon Leaving England

I’ve lived in England for almost four years. Today, I’m writing at my dining room table instead of my usual corner of the family room (my normal practice is to write while keeping one eye on what everyone else is doing, which is my standard disclaimer for anything I write that might suck). I’m displaced because today is moving day. I’m surrounded by chaos and packing crates, watching two moving dudes named LeRoy and Steve touch everything I own.