I Can Handle It

There's this thing I've noticed that people are wont to do when interacting with people like Mark and I as someone who is ill and his wife/caregiver.

They often water down their problems for us. People say things like:

• It's nothing like what you deal with.
• It's so small compared to your struggles.
• I don't want to add to your stress.

OK so, yeah, we have struggles, and yeah, along with chronic illness comes chronic stress. I'm not going to deny that.

But we both still want to be in real, give and take relationships with our friends and family. We want others to share their lives with us.

Bullshit vs. Gratitude

I felt a whole lot of gratitude this week.

It's not that anything particularly wonderful happened.

I think what it it is, is that, at least for me, the circumstances of my life have taught me to easily notice all the things I could/should be thankful for.

To the point, honestly, where I am often dumbfounded by those who don't see. I am that person who, when listening to someone complain about something, can almost always find a way to spin the complaint into something to be grateful for.

Now before you go calling me Suzy Sunshine, it's not that I always arrive at my gratefuls without ever first feeling anger, bitterness or the urge to coat my feelings in sarcasm.

I am both easily frustrated....and easily thankful.

How Others See Me

Looking for reasons to blog and topics for blogging, as I am wont to do these days because I have been having a hard time with that, I noticed a prompt to simply list 10 random facts/things about myself.

Well, I have done this several times before, so I was like,sigh...I'd probably just repeat myself.

Also, one of the reasons I'm having such a hard time with blogging is my brain doesn't seem to be able to form its own thoughts.

I have started and stopped a few blog posts lately because I simply lost what I thought I wanted to say.

Poof! Gone.

How to Build a TARDIS

Or, How to Get Your Creative DIY-er Best Friend to Build You a TARDIS Pantry.

One day a few months ago my husband and I (I think it was me, he thinks it was him) had a Whovian epiphany.

That you could totally make a pantry cabinet look like the Doctor's (Who, that is) TARDIS time machine!

I am slightly creative, but I have a few very creative friends, one of whom happens to enjoy DIY projects....

6 Signs You Might Need a Good GNO

GNO = Girl's Night Out.

I got to get together with my girlfriends last week. It was for one of their birthdays.

The last time I had gotten together with all of them was for another one's birthday back in July.

That is way too long to go between Girl's Nights! Sad thing is, I had only missed ONE night when we were all supposed to hang out, so it's not like they were partying without me.

Ugh: Life.

Women need other women. No matter how much we love our significant others, children or extended family, girlfriends are a necessity. There are things that only they can understand and love you through.

So anyway, I got to thinking about how I know it's time. How I know it's been quite long enough, thank you, and I NEED to see my girls.

And because I'm super thoughtful, I will include HOW to make it happen.

BOOM.

5 Random Either/Or Questions

I recently noticed that I haven't joined any new blog hops in awhile. A pretty big part of blogging is connecting and getting to know other bloggers.

In this, I have slacked. Shame on me.

Imma totally play the "my husband had all these surgeries and I was mainly concentrating on just writing decent posts for y'all and staying consistent in at least that" card.

I'm a Lying Liar Who Lies

Week before last I wrote a lovely little post about my 25 year friendship with my high school BFF and how we're taking a little trip together in celebration of our 40th birthdays.

That wasn't the whole truth.

I lied by omission.

There was something I HAD to leave out because it was a BIG SURPRISE. I couldn't tell you guys because JHo reads my blog (of course she does!), and if I had spilled the beans on this and ruined the surprise her husband planned for her birthday, I'm pretty sure I would have been stoned to death!

For serious. You guys, this surprise was planned and executed as if the Secret Service themselves were in on it.

The cruise JHo and I are taking is true. We ARE indeed doing that. That is a separate thing from what her husband had planned for her big day.

JHo's husband is Joe, and he hatched, plotted, schemed and orchestrated this elaborate plan on THE PLANNER herself. He made it so she had all her best friends on hand to celebrate her birthday with.

Three of us had to be flown in for the festivities. One local friend was charged with making semi-fake plans with JHo to get her to Joe's Crab Shack where the surprise would be sprung. Joe had to round everyone up at the airport, which was nearly foiled because I almost didn't make my connecting flight. My luggage didn't make it.

Do you have any idea how hard it was for this social media lovin' girl to keep her tweeting fingers from saying anything about the fact that I was leaving home all by myself for the first time since my daughter was born? Can you imagine my excitement? My anxiety??

But everything came together with perfect timing. JHo spent just the right amount of time shopping at Ikea before heading to the restaurant. We pulled up JUST AS JHo was walking in, her friend making sure she didn't spot us.

The plan was that Joe would give JHo "gifts" that were framed pictures of the three of us who flew in. However, my picture was in my suitcase which didn't make the connection in Las Vegas. So I called her instead, and walked into the restaurant as I was trying to have some sort of normal conversation with her. I was failing miserably.

Thankfully, it wasn't hard to find her. When she spotted me, she burst into tears. I quickly came around the table for a hug.

Joseph!

All JHo could think to ask when we sat down was, "Who drove you to the airport?" I answered her, but was thinking, "Really Jen, that's what you wanna know?"

Her other peeps came in and surprised her. There was an "OMG!" and a "NO!" or two or twelve. JHo was shaking with excitement as she started putting the pieces together.

"LIARS!", she called each and every one of us.

Yes, we're liars, and damn proud of it!

We ate lunch, my luggage was retrieved and we headed to the JHome in Chico where we were whisked off to a birthday dinner with more friends and family.

The next day we took a mini tour of the Sierra Nevada Brewery and went bar hopping. I had Fireball and "Scooby snack" shots, and a Sex on the Beach. We attempted to dance to the longest techno rap song ever, were refused entry into the Crazy Horse, took a cab home where a few of us sampled apple pie moonshine and I ate the other half of the best turkey melt in creation, albeit cold and not at all still melty.

On Saturday we watched my Godson's basketball game, dashed into McDonald's for sustenance and made our way on BFE two-lane roads back to the Sacramento airport which was eerily empty, but therefor seriously easy to get through.

Once aboard my flight home I settled into the row I had all to myself and thought about the whirlwind that had just ensued....

Prior to the trip I figured getting to do this would make waiting for our cruise together easier. I wondered when the last time was JHo and I had spent any time just the two of us. You know, before husbands and babies and LIFE. I thought hard and could only come up with the weekend we went shopping for my wedding dress 16 years ago. Suddenly I ached for just a few moments to sit, relax and TALK to my friend. It feels like a very selfish thought after having a fabulous and fun time with such cool people.

Very cool people who are good liars, helped pull off the birthday coup of the decade and will leave JHo questioning everything for the rest of her life!

Years of Friendship

26 years of friendship.

Well, to be completely honest, there was one year that we didn't speak (because of a stupid boy), so maybe we can only claim 25 years of friendship.

But not just 25. Technically, we met in 7th grade (1986), but remained mostly acquantances until 9th grade (1988).

Regardless, I've known her for more than half my life. She is the closest thing I have to a sister.

My best friend shares my name, where we graduated high school, divorced and remarried parents, sticky family dynamics, weddings, babies, long distances and now even blogging.

She calls me Jenni and I now refer to her as JHo. "Jenni" is left over from high school when I let everyone call me that, and "JHo" (since she married Joe) is a play on JLo. Also extra funny because "Ho".

The BANGS!

Over the years we have danced at prom and each other's weddings. JHo is partially responsible for Mark and I finally getting engaged (nudge, nudge) and she was instrumental in planning my wedding. We are both mothers to one girl and one boy. She is Godmother to both my kids, and I am an honorary Godmom to her son. She is ten times better at the Godmother thing than I am. She is "Auntie Jen" to my kids.

JHo says some of her favorite memories include:

• Number one would have to be the notes we passed daily! I guess I can think about the days since high school…
• Or maybe the day you called me to tell me you had just given birth to a baby girl : “I am woman – hear me roar!”
• Hearing your giggle as I toasted your marriage at your wedding (a la Princess Bride).
• Oh! Your bridal shower!

I too loved our note passing, especially because JHo drew these awesome little comic strips illustrating what we were dishing about at the bottom. I absolutely LOVED her "wild, wild west" themed wedding and was beyond honored to be her MOH and Camryn a flower girl.

She HANDMADE all the dresses!

My most recent favorite memory was when we hooked up while I was visiting my mom in Lake Tahoe. Loved that our kids got to play together!

Most of our relationship has been a long-distance one, so we do each have our local besties too, but she has proven to be one of the Constants in my life. Distance be damned!

__________

This year, as we both turn 40, we are looking forward to commemorating this milestone together on a little cruise between LA and Ensenada in early March. I've never ever been on a cruise before, so I'm so EXCITED!

(Maybe you've noticed the PayPal "Donate" button I put up there in my sidebar? You know, just on the off-chance someone would like to help me finance a massage, mani-pedi or a drunken stuper on the ship....)

It's going to be wonderful. We will get to warm up from winter, see the beautiful Pacific ocean, be gluttonous, talk and play and just be us girls TOGETHER. I almost don't even know what to do with myself.

This is so huge because for years I hesitated in traveling away from Mark for fear that something bad might happen with his health without me here. Little by little -- crisis by crisis -- I have been learning to let go of that. Taking this trip with JHo is part of my year of living Bravely. I knew I wanted to do this years ago, but I wasn't sure if it would really happen. At least if I would actually leave home;  maybe she would just come see me here.

I am nervous, still. I will probably have to battle my anxiety a few times as the date approaches. JHo will need to be armed with plenty of reassurances that everything will be OK and I CAN let myself have this. let myself RELAX.

But I know it's going to be great! And I love her so much for gently pushing the issue.

Now, just get me to March 5th.....

His Everything

I am my husband's everything.

I am the only person in his life who loves him unconditionally.

I am the only one who isn't afraid of him on some level.

At least, that's what it feels like to him.

Honestly, I can understand why Mark feels this way.

His friends used to do more with him than they do now. He asks and asks if they want to do something sometime, to let him know and he's there. Besides my dad, they don't call.

I try to convince my perceptive husband it's not that they don't like him or care about him. I truly believe they do.

Mark bluntly says, "But they're afraid of me. Afraid something might happen to me when we're together."

This hits me in the gut and I burst into tears. I can't argue. It could very well be true. I've often wondered it myself, never wanting to ask any of his friends for fear of the answer.

"I'm so sorry, honey!", I wail. God, this hurts.

It's not like fair weather friends. Those kind of friends aren't there for you in hard times. They scatter, avoiding you, unable to handle whatever it is you're going through.

Mark's friends are actually always there for him when he's in trouble. They flock to his hospital bedside and offer to help me if I need it.

But when he's OK, living life day to day and just wants to hang out? Mark feels that it's like pulling teeth.

He is a social creature. He's perfect for working retail because he loves interacting with people and loves doing whatever he can to make them happy. It gives him energy, makes him feel alive.

Oh sure, he knows everyone has their own lives to deal with and sometimes people get too busy. But when he hears about others getting together and not including him? That's when it starts to feel like they just don't want to. And what else can he deduce but that it has to do with his health problems?

Even if they don't have the time to get together, might they have a little time for a quick phone call, or even just a text?

So when I spend a week immersed in an audiobook every evening after the kids go to bed, headphones on my ears and crochet project in hand, Mark feels like even I don't want to hang out with him.

He is lonely even though his wife is sitting one couch cushion away.

Being a typical (yet not) man, he keeps his feelings all bottled up until it hurts a little too much and then it comes out at me in anger.

I feel attacked and defend myself, "What, can't I do anything for myself??"

And then we're both hurt.

Where does this leave us? What does it mean for me?

This all feels.....heavy. And sad. Not only for myself or Mark, but for others because they are missing out on spending time with a great guy. They should feel sad about that. I feel sad for Mark because no one should have to feel the way he does, like they're a burden or it's too hard to be around them. I feel helpless because I have no idea what I can do about it.

If Mark's friends are indeed afraid of what might happen while hanging out with him, or are holding him at arm's length out of self-preservation (for fear of losing him), then I think that means I really am all he's got.

Thankful Thursday: Thanksgiving Day

On Thanksgiving 2012 I am thankful for:

The number  one thing, after last March, my husband still being here

to celebrate another Thanksgiving with us.

My beautiful, bright, healthy children.

They light up my life, and without them I would not be whole.

Our cozy little home.

(In spite of any roof leaks.)

My parents.

My extended family which includes two grandmthers still living,

aunts, uncles and cousins, as well as my in-laws,

including Mark's 90 year old sainted grandmother.

The delicious food my husband will cook today.

My dad being here for us, and us for him.

The bigger picture.

Having faith that there is reason and purpose

and much to be learned.

Laughter.

The lovely people we call our Friends.

Walking, Wine and Whipped Cream.

YOU lovely people who are my online friends!

I wish you a THANKFUL  and yummy Thanksgiving!

And leave you with my son singing a song he learned at school:

Dinner Bells Dasing through our food With a knife and a fork so fast, Corn and peas do go, while through my throat they pass. Into my tummy the plop. Making growling stop. Oh what fun it is to eat and eat until we drop! Oh dinner bells, shotgun shells, turkey got away. What are we supposed to do on this Thanksgiving Day-ay? Dinner bells, shotgun shells, turkey got away. What are we supposed to do on our Thanksgiving Day!
HAHAHA!

TGIF: Wine Tasting & Guest Posting

No, wine tasting and guest posting normally have nothing to do with each other. But today, they do....

....because....I am happy about these two things today.

My friend Carin is a sales consultant for Wine Shop at Home. And our friend Jessica is hosting a wine tasting party tonight. Carin's Weier Wine Shop brings wine tasting TO YOUR HOME!  You don't have to dress up to go to a fancy winery, which is so nice for a casual gal like me. I'm really looking forward to trying the wine too, because I've heard nothing but good things about it. This is going to be an awesome GNO!

So ummm, if you notice some drunk tweets from me later on tonight, it's the wine talking.


The other thing I'm happy about today is a guest post I've written for Brandy at Momwich.

It's called Complicated Cool and it should be up RIGHT NOW! It's about how my family may be somewhat different from other families, but we're still a family just like yours. I hope you will go read it and say hi to me over there.

But first, share some happy with me by linking up below! 

PS: Danielle and I will be hosting a belated Did You Know? blog hop next Tuesday the 10th. We hope you'll want to share something interesting and link up!

It's My Birthday!

AND this is my 400th post!

Holy blogging, Batman!

It's also Monday Listicles so I will present to you a list of 10 Things Birthday. Sound good?

Well, it's my birthday so I say what goes.

1. I was born exactly 38 years ago today, at 5:12 AM. My mother's onset of labor was marked by hurling her spaghetti dinner.

2. I was named after Jennifer O'Neill. Or so says my father. I wonder if all the other millions of Jennifers were also named for her. Something tells me no. My mother says she liked Jessica and Jennifer, but preferred the nickname Jenny over Jessie. She's never called me Jenny.

3. My astrological sign is the first on the zodiac, Aries. I have spent all of my life disagreeing with much of what is said about Aries, as relates to me. I'm told that both your sun sign and rising sign matter. According to a Free Instant Rising Sign Wizard mine is Pisces. Apparently: "This peculiar mix is more like a multiple personality disorder." Huh.

Aries Traits

Adventurous and energetic - No & No

Pioneering and courageous - Not pioneering

Enthusiastic and confident - Iffy

Dynamic and quick-witted - Not really

On the dark side...

Selfish and quick-tempered - not usually & a little

Impulsive and impatient - when I was younger

Foolhardy and daredevil - NOT EVEN

4. I spent my 16th at Disneyland, my 19th in Florida, 21st in Reno (legal, baby!), 25th in Orange County and another in San Francisco. I got engaged on my 23rd.

5. I thought my 30th was all big and important and invited all these new "friends" I had met right after moving to Washington out to lunch with me. There were 8-10 women at my table that day. I felt so special and important and liked. Eight years later, I know it's not the quantity of people, it's the quality of the people. Also, most of them were moms with young kids and probably just wanted an excuse to get out of the house!

6. My 31st was only 4 of us, but it was one of my most memorable.

My very happy friend there is Jessica!

7. I got pregnant with AJ shortly after the above photo was taken, so by the time my 32nd rolled around, I had this little cutie to cuddle:

8. I've shared my 33rd birthday photo before. My 34th didn't yield a good pic, but it was a fun night of homemade fondue and Friends on DVD. Um, my 35th...don't seem to have any pics. Probably did dinner and a movie. Oh! I got my tattoo for my 36th birthday! And last year on my 37th, we took a day trip to Leavenworth, WA.

9. As this birthday approached we met a new heart specialist, an Electrophysiologist, who diagnosed Mark's arrhythmia as Ventricular Tachycardia. This is more serious than Atrial Fibrillation and means Mark's heart could freak out and stop again at any time before he has a defibrillator implanted. I thought about cancelling plans to go to dinner an hour away from home.

10. But I didn't cancel and everything was OK (except Mark let the kids stay up really late). Here are a few pics from dinner at The Melting Pot in Seattle. It's an amazing fondue place. This dinner was from my dad for my birthday, and also to thank my besties for being so awesome while Mark was in the hospital.

Carin and Jessica - Carin brought extra lighting for me

Me and my Dad

The Flaming Turtle chocolate fondue

Dessert bits to dip

My s'mores martini - crushed graham cracker around the rim of the glass!

Tonight we're hittin' Red Robin for my free birthday burger! Hmm, which one should I get...Blue Ribbon, Banzai, Whiskey River, Guacamole?

I think I like my late 30s. Mostly. I like not being young and dumb anymore, but I could do without the aches and pains. Seriously, my lower back PITA decided to act up this weekend. Why? Just to mke me feel me age? Probably.

Well I say Pfft! to my back.

Oh, my kids let me sleep in until 11:00 yesterday morning! I don't think I've done that since I was in my early 20s. The next logical thing to do after sleeping the morning away is stay in your pajamas all day. Yup, pretty nice Sunday, I'd say.

Day, say...that rhymes!

PS: All my fave bloggy friends contributed to a special post as a gift for me over at The Sarcasm Goddess' For the Love of Writing!

TGIF: The BIG Gratitude Edition

Wow. Just wow.

And here I thought I wouldn't be feeling happy today, that writing a TGIF post would be a challenge.

That's what I get for thinkin'!

How is it that the older I get, the less I seem to know?

What are you talking about, Jennifer??

Okay, okay. Like Mark says, "Hold your pantyhose!"

So this has been the month from Hell and I'm very glad it ends tomorrow. But thankfully, we get to leave March with some good news in our back pockets.

Here's what I posted on our family Facebook page:

My cousin keeps teasing that Mark is a big faker. His step-sister says he has about 98 lives. My dad and I joked that he's just an attention seeker. It's all out of love. Truly, deep and abiding love.

I am so grateful.

I believe Mark's recovery from this is a true testament to the power of prayer and positive energy. And yet another example of my husband's fighting spirit. I believe he DECIDED he wasn't gonna die yet.

I know it's not like Mark is cured of Diabetes or kidney failure, or like this little episode never happened or his heart is none the worse for wear. But by God, I think we are allowed to breath a sigh of relief at this news. We do still have some time. Mark isn't done yet.

If this doesn't give us perspective, nothing will. We will not take this good news for granted. There will be no "guess that's over with" mentality. We will go ahead with our vow renewal in May and Mark will go ahead with his plan to make videos for the kids. I want to start helping Mark to cross some things off his bucket list.

We will keep squeezing those drops out of life, and never forget what we have to lose.

Not only am I extremely grateful to know Mark is doing much better, but I have been overwhelmed by the outpouring of love and support from all around. From our loyal and steadfast family and friends, to Mark's uber generous co-workers and prayer chains from far and wide. Every single last bit of it was noticed, felt and appreciated. And I don't even mean to say that in the past tense, as I'm sure it won't just end here. It's just.... A-MA-ZING!

Where will the next twist of the roller coaster take us?

Write up some HAPPY, grab the button, link it up!

(Linky open all weekend.)

Love, Light & Joy

Once upon a time I had this friend, Emily.

She was young and beautiful.  A wife, a mom, daughter, sister, friend.  Emily had her whole life ahead of her.

But she also had breast cancer.

Of course she fought it.  When she and her doctors thought it was gone, a fresh scan revealed that it was in fact not.  The cancer had metastasized.

She kept fighting.  But then one day it became very clear that the cancer was winning.  Emily was only 29.

It was springtime and her birthday was June 6, so she decided to try to hold on at least to turn 30.

And she did.  We had a wonderful 30th birthday party for her.  Sweet memories.

Emily left this world full of Love, Light and Joy on July 15, 2007.

She touched so many hearts in the short time she had here.  She touched me deeply.  Emily was kind and warm and strong.  I will never forget her.  A few mutual friends have gotten tattoos in her memory, and I intend to as well.

In the time I've been blogging I have only mentioned her a couple times.  I haven't always felt like it was my place or if I even have a right to, as I am not family.  I didn't include any pictures here for that reason.  But, the experience of knowing Emily and the privilege of calling her my friend was a meaningful thing in my life.  I'm very grateful to have been given a clear reason to write about her today.

That reason is this video from the American Cancer Society.  I feel really good about sharing it because cancer sucks.  Plain and simple.

Please watch the video.  And please feel free to share below how cancer has touched your life.

This post is sponsored by American Cancer Society.

Gladly and sincerely written by me.

All My Love

Dear Computer,

I <3 u.  I just want to get that out of the way from the get-go.

source

You have given me one of the best gifts ever.  Nevermind that I have to pay for it.  That's not important.

The Internet.

You hold the Internet which gives me email and Facebook and Twitter and Google and Wikipedia and banking and math help and recipes and BLOGGING.

Right here, right now, I am sitting here writing you this love letter ON MY BLOG which is ON THE INTERNET.

Because of you, dear computer, I can share my life with those I love when we can't be together, and they can do the same.  I can meet new people and make new friends even though I am just a lowly stay-at-home mom.  I can search for anything my brain is curious about.  You even make paying bills more fun that it used to be.

source

Because of you, my flat black beauty, I am instantly connected to the world outside my door anytime I want to be, day or night, 24/7.  I can find news, games, TV shows, movies, comics, ebooks, shopping and more.  I can reach out for support or help with a problem and get it with the just the click of your cute little mouse.  I can even never again hand write ANYTHING if I don't want to.

You teach and entertain my children.  They can play educational math games or Plants vs. Zombies.  They can take care of their Webkinz!  You  are helping me to raise well-rounded kids and it touches my heart.

Yes, I freely and openly admit that I love you, Computer.  No, I will never apologize or make excuses!  I don't care if people judge us because they don't understand.  It is what it is.  And what it is, is a beautiful relationship.

I wrote this in response to the Mama Kat's Writer's Workshop prompt #5: Write a love letter to an inanimate object.

World's Greatest BFF/Bestie

Today I will enter a friendship contest on behalf of both my BFF and my Bestie.

Wait. What's that you say? Aren't BFFs and Besties the same thing?

Well, I suppose to the average girl they are, but not to me.  Allow me to explain.

I have a BFF (Best Friend Forever) AND a Bestie.  This is because I love these two women equally and cannot pick just one of them to call my "best friend".  One I have known longer than the other so I give her the title of BFF just for that reason.  I call the other my Bestie because she has become just as close to me as my BFF over the last 8 years.

"Yes'm, old friends is always best, 'less you can catch a new one that's fit to make an old one out of."

~ Sarah Orne Jewett

My BFF is another Jennifer.  In high school we would introduce ourselves as Jen...nifer, pointing from her to me as we said it.  Today I fondly and lovingly refer to her as J.Ho.  (That's a play on J.Lo, in case you didn't make that connection.)

She's wearing a Christmas shirt that says "Ho Ho Ho".
She added the J. I love it!

I met J.Ho in 7th grade waaaayyy back in 1986.  But we were just acquantances in the same PE class back then.  Our relationship really took off when we got to high school. Each year we had a few classes together and because we both had H last names and lockers were assigned alphabetically, we had lockers close by each other.  Between each class we'd pass notes, J.Ho's with the funniest little cartoons at the bottom.

When J.Ho got her driver's license and bought a sweet '56 Chevy truck, she wouild pick me up for school and we'd leave campus for lunch.  She'd let a bunch of other kids pile in the back of the truck and it was so fun!

We would rock out to the B52s' "Love Shack", INXS' "Suicide Blonde", Madonna's "Vogue" and Deee-Lite's "Groove is in the Heart".  I would sing my lungs out to Deee-Lite in J.Ho's truck!  She probably wanted to laugh at me so bad, but she never did.

We went through several boyfriends.  She helped get me through a dumb mistake I made.  She got me drunk for the first time.  Then this really stupid thing happened.  We had a fight over my boyfriend that resulted in us not hanging out for almost all of our senior year.  Even after the stupid boyfriend dumped me, I had too much pride to apologize to her.  And by the time we did get back on track, we graduated and she bolted from Tahoe so fast, all I could do was wave goodbye.

But!  Because she's so totally awesome, she made it a point to keep in touch with me.  And thus began the beginning of the best long-distance relationship EVER.  Seriously, there are no two closer friends who don't live anywhere near each other, than me and my J.Ho.  We have been each other's Maids of Honor, she hosted my first baby shower, I planned and co-hosted her bridal shower and we are Godmothers to each other's kids.

J.Ho holding my baby AJ at his Baptism.

We email almost daily, use Facebook and text.  We are both really good about mailing the other photos.  J.Ho is an awesome gift-giver, never once ever missing either of my kids' birthdays or Christmas.  She is thoughtful, generous, supportive, talented and so funny!  She is like family.

"There is magic in long-distance friendships. They let you relate to other human beings in a way that goes beyond being physically together and is often more profound."

~ Diana Cortes

My Bestie is Jessica.  We met in the Fall of 2003 through our local MOMS Club.  It was Recipe Club day with an apple theme.  Jess brought an apple cake.  She was pregnant with her 2nd child with the sweetest little 3 year old boy in tow.  We continued to see each other at day outings including one where we took our little kids bowling.  Her belly was so big, my husband helped her son with his bowling ball.  I couldn't believe Jess even showed up that day!

A few months later I had a little extra spending money and wanted to go shopping.  I can't drive, so I sent out an email to the new friends I had met, asking if anyone would like to take go with me.  Jessica raised her hand and we had a great day at the mall.

After that we started talking on the phone a lot, finding oodles of things we had in common.  Even the stuff we didn't have in common was cool.  I mean, we spent HOURS on the phone, chatting the day away while we did housework and took care of our kids.  We could talk - yell at kids - talk - start a load of laundry - talk - get snacks - talk.  It was really quite a productive relationship.

Along with another really good friend of ours, Carin, me and Jess both have millennium babies and this has been something that has bonded us.  Jessica's, Carin's and my oldest kids went to preschool together.  We have tried each of the last 8 years to get at least 1 photo of the 3 of the kids together, almost without fail.  The 3 of them are good friends too.

Left to right: Jessica's son, my daughter, Carin's son
July 2010

Left to right: Jessica, me, Carin
July 2010

Jessica has been there for me in some huge ways, most recently last year when my husband Mark had his heart bypass surgery.  She went above and beyond for me and my family and if she hadn't before that, she cemented a place in my heart forever.

Jess sewed this "badass" cover for Mark's heart pillow.

I can't count how many GNOs Jess and I have had together, how many movies, Mexican dinners, kids' birthday parties or conversations.  She is a truly consistent friend.  She is kind, giving, talented, funny and she helps me be a better mom.  And just like J.Ho, Jess is like family to me.

Love is like the wild-rose briar;
Friendship is like the holly-tree.
The holly is dark when the rose briar blooms,
But which will bloom most constantly?
~ Emily Brontë

Jessica is the one who encouraged me to start a blog.  She has one too.  And then I encouraged J.Ho to start a foodie blog.  I believe in paying it forward!

When something is going on in my life, I need both of them to know.  When I was spending my days in the hospital with Mark last year, J.Ho cried on the phone with me and Jessica held my hand.  Literally, at the same time.  I am so blessed to have these two wonderful women in my life, to be able to call them my friends.

I've had other best friends in my life....Tressa, Shelley, Heather, Lisa, Brandie...and I've loved them all.  But I think the older I get the more I refine the definition of what a best friend is to me.

"People come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime."

~ Author Unknown

I could really go on and on, but this is already so long!  Suffice it to say that my BFF and my Bestie are amazing and I love them.

Places I Love to Be

Monday Listicles with Stasha of The Good Life is challenging and fun.  This week, Saretta at Amid the Olive Trees (she's an American living in Italy - so fancy!) has chosen the topic of "10 Places You Love".

I took this to mean any sort of place - geographical, just a spot or even a state of being....

Last Thanksgiving

1. Sitting at my kitchen table having dinner with my family - we need a bigger table, but I always feel so gratified when we're sitting around it eating and talking together.

2. Starbucks - does this need any explanation?  Between Caramel Apple Spices, Peppermint Mochas and just plain ole regular coffee drinks...

3. The back of Mark’s neck - scratch it, kiss it, just look at it :-)

This is actually the arm of my couch with my knitting sitting on it.
I'm ashamed that I don't have a pic that includes a glass of wine.

4. My end of the couch with a glass of wine and my knitting.

source

5. The entire West Coast of the US - everyone I love lives somewhere in Washington, Oregon and California.  I live in Washington and lived in California for 17 years.

6. My computer - honestly, it contains very important parts of my life.  Simple as that.  It's how I keep in touch with several people, manage household stuff, get news and other information, it's how I do this blog and get to be a part of something bigger than myself even though I'm just at home.  it's kind of amazing, really.

7. Anywhere there’s a pretty sunset - I think sunsets are pretty much one of the best things in nature!

8. The movie theater - I love going to see a movie in the theater. I love the feeling of being closed off from the rest of the world for a couple of hours and immersing myself in a story.

Please excuse the little orange Xs. Photobucket's fault!

9. My house - It's not that my house is special.  It's just that it's OURS.  Took us a LONG time to be able to buy a house and I kind of love it.

10. With my friends - "There's not much that can't be cured by a good GNO!"  They have been few and far between lately, but when we're at our best, being with my friends lifts me up, makes me feel loved, makes me laugh and feel connected.