What Compassion Means to Me

Earlier this week I posted about what a pretty perfect day for me would be like.

I wrote it that way because of how overwhelmed by my life I was feeling in that moment, and I wanted to speak up for my personal happiness and sanity.

But before sitting down to write that post, I had thought I might write about what I would want for the world at large, if I had my way.

About things that really matter to me, that tug at my heart and I feel compassion for.

Not that fixing any of those things would be easy. But in a perfect world....

::

I asked my 9 year old son if he knew what compassion was. He said he sort of does, that "it's when you have compassion for people".

When I asked him to clarify what having compassion for people IS, he didn't really know what to say.

I told him that you have compassion for others when you are able to put yourself in their place for a minute and try to get a sense of what their life is like. When you see what some one's circumstances are and feel something about it. Maybe you want to help, or maybe you just show concern. It's also when you are KIND to others because they need some kindness.

My son's attention started to drift so I stopped there. But there's quite a bit more to it, isn't there?

How I Feel About Doing a Charity Walk

My husband is a Type 1 Diabetic (juvenile onset/insulin dependent) and has been since the age of nine (he's almost 46). He suffers from many of the complications associated with the disease, including kidney failure, for which he has been on in-center hemodialysis for the last 12 1/2 years.

And that ain't even the half of it!

Over the 20 years we've been together I've had myself quite the education on Diabetes. Heck, I even had Gestational Diabetes (very similar to Type 2) in both of my pregnancies.

But I've also built up a bit of a hard heart and even bitterness toward the idea that the "powers that be" could actually be trying to find a cure.

To me it feels like Diabetes is thought of as just a "condition" MILLIONS of people have to "deal" with, it's completely manageable and "if you just keep your blood sugars in good control you'll be fine".

I hate to burst anyone's bubble, but that simply hasn't been what I've observed about the disease.

Not My Favorite Cause

Finding a cure for Diabetes is not something I typically get fired up about.

I tend to feel bitter about the chances of anything ever actually happening on that front, so I choose to care about other, more tangible, things instead.

Then my daughter wrote a short essay on who her role model is. She named her dad, and that she'd like to do something to help find a cure for Diabetes. It made me think.

And my heart softened a bit. If my child cares about something, I do too. I can't not be supportive of my children's hopes and desires. "Supportive" is probably one of the top three things moms are.

I could never in good conscience squash Camryn's idea that she might be able to help in some way. I can't say, "There's no use, dear, it just won't happen. Forget about it."

You don't take away a person's HOPE, no matter what you think.

The View From Here: Listening to That Inner Voice

I don't want to say much as intro for this week's View, except that I asked this person to write for me because I very much wanted to hear from a man.

This is Scotty Schrier, and he is awesome. That is all you need to know.

__________

I Listen to the Voices in My Head...and I'm a Better Person for It!

A Quote and a Thankful List (or, I couldn't think of anything better to call this post)

November is Thanksgiving month in the US and I like to be sure to give the holiday its due. In 2010 me and a friend wrote daily gratitude posts (from Thanksgiving to New Year). Last year I published "Thankful Thursday" posts each week of the month.

Lately I have been linking up with my friend Lizzi's "Ten Things of Thankful", but not every week. For this November, though, I want to commit to doing so every Saturday.

Even if it's hard. Even if I have a sucky week.

This first Saturday in November I am thankful because....

1. My son is doing very well in school, just like usual. At the conference I completely forgot about and was not ready in time for (Mark went) AJ's teacher said he just sometimes struggles with writing. As in, thinking of what to write. I kinda LOL at this, considering I'm a BLOGGER!

2. After being a bit busy this Fall -- whether literally ME having a lot to do, or helping to orchestrate the activities of the other people in this house -- I was happy we weren't all that busy this week.

3. I got to have a great phone conversation with a friend of mine I was missing.

4. I am keeping tabs on, and sharing all over the Internet, the Scary Mommy Thanksgiving Project, and it seems to be going very well. I absolutely LOVE this grass-roots effort Jill Smokler of Scary Mommy spearheads. This is the third year of helping those in need with a $50 grocery gift card so they may have a proper Thanksgiving dinner. The stories that are submitted to Jill and the outpouring of love and donations are overwhelming. Every single thing I read about it chokes me up and gives me just that little bit I need to keep believing in the goodness of humanity. If you are able to donate, go here. If you are in need, go here.

5. November means NaNoWriMo and NaBloPoMo and I am participating in neither! I learned my lesson last year. However, I am very happy to be contributing a couple guest posts and a prize to those who are doing NaBloPoMo and congregating at Yeah Write as they do so. In fact, my first guest post at Yeah Write is up TODAY!

6. Halloween was simple and easy and just plain lovely. It is all kinds of awesome when your kids are big enough to go trick-or-treating with just their friends in the neighborhood.

7. Camryn came in from her FIRST ROUND of trick-or-treating (it was her mission to hit every single house in the neighborhood) and promptly gave me a bite size Kit Kat.

8. A gifted bottle of wine and peanut butter chocolate chip cookies. Just because my friend is awesome. And maybe a little but nutty. Why the woman bakes cookies on Halloween I will never know.

9. Salad. I love a large salad with little grape or cherry tomatoes, a sprinkling of shredded cheese, some chicken, something crunchy and a nice lite dressing. It's like, my favorite thing to have for lunch, and I've had the ingredients this week. (Extra points for avocado!)

10. Rolling up the sleeping bag I've had out next to my side of the bed for my son for months now because he has finally started just waking me up and asking to be tucked back into his own bed! Although, he is my best cuddler.

I Am Fierce

Whatever fierceness I have in me comes from Love.

I am loved fiercely, and I love fiercely in return.

I've written ad nauseam about my PTSD, anger, fears and worries as regards Mark's last major health crisis (or his health in general). Those are the things I'm not proud of, that I struggle with and have to work through.

But there was something else. Something I had forgotten about, or failed to see or was overshadowed by the fear, until an email popped into my inbox.

It asked if there was a time when I was fierce. And I realized that, yeah, there absolutely was.

The most fierce I've ever had to be was when doctors told me I should prepare for the possibility that my husband was dying.

I was fierce when I had to face my children and answer their questions about their dad.

I was fierce while juggling family members.

I was fierce when pushing for information from hospital staff.

I was fierce when I absolutely had to focus on my own needs.

I had to muster up fierceness when I was forced to tell my husband the doctors thought he might be dying.

Mark and I were both fierce when signing living will/power of attorney papers.

I was fierce by insisting my husband should go home.

I was fierce when letting the tears flow.

FACING MY WORST FEAR made me fierce!

In the moments, I just did these things. At the time, I could not see the fierceness in my actions.

Even though I nearly burst into tears after every few sentences writing this, I see now how I was fierce. I see now that I still am.

I am sharing this with you as part of The Traveling Blue Wig Project. It is to spread the word about the Clever Girls Collective's Fierce Fund, which is seeking to donate $20,000 in support of nonprofit initiatives that celebrate, encourage, and elevate women and girls.

But they need YOUR help! There are three causes the Clever Girls want your help in choosing from: CoachArt, Dress for Success and Girls Who Code. You have until next Monday, October 21, 2013 to get your vote in.

Do you have a story of a time you were Fierce?

Tell me about it, and then go vote to support women and girls.

Visit the #FierceFund to learn more about this girl-power project!

beCAUSE

This summer I've been talking about food banks.

I participated in the Nestle Juicy Juice Fruit for All Project. I walked with Run. Blog. Give.

But why do I feel so passionately about helping to feed the hungry?

You'd think I'd be more interested in medical research of Diabetes, kidney disease, heart disease and blindness.

I do care about those things. But those problems are more abstract to me.

If I'm being completely honest, maybe I'm a little cynical about those things.

Causes having to do with researching to find cures for diseases are noble and good, and of course I appreciate them.

But hunger, a lack of a basic human need, has more of a pull for me.

It probably has something to do with my strong sense of fairness. My brain just can't comprehend how letting a needy person go hungry is ever alright.

How can we expect people to reach their full potential in life if they are struggling just to have their basic needs met?

I don't have much; less than most, more than some. But I have a home, I have clothes, I have clean water and I have food.

Everyone should have those things. At least.

I'm grateful to not know what it feels like to be hungry.

How desperate it must feel to not know where your next meal will come from!

Giving away some of my food is easy. IT'S SO EASY.

It just makes sense to me. Sharing some of my food, and asking others to do so as well, is something I can do.

I have been the recipient of many generosities in my life. I have to pay it forward somehow. I can't cure disease, but I can give to those less fortunate.

We must do what we can. It's good for the soul, the heart, the world.

It helps me feel like I'm enough.

Nestle Juicy Juice #FruitforAll Project Giveaway!

Do you remember late last month when I wrote this post in which I mentioned the Juicy Juice Fruit for All Project?

Well I did, and I am very excited to be able to participate in something that will give my local food bank, and one of YOUR local food banks, 400 meals.

That's right, this right here, is a post for a CHARITABLE giveaway!

How awesome is that?

It's awesome because...

All of this is in partnership with

Food is a basic human need. No one should have to go without it. It's just logical to me.

My local food bank is the Marysville Community Food Bank, where visits there are up 8% over last year. The need is real, and it's right in our backyards.

So if you care about helping end hunger in your community, enter the Nestle Juicy Juice giveaway to win a donation of 400 meals to your local food bank!

Ways to Enter

Mandatory: Leave me a comment telling me a little something about the need in your community.

Extra entry: Tweet I just entered to win a donation of 400 meals for my local food bank from @JuicyJuiceUSA's #FruitforAll Project, hosted by @JenAnnHall! and leave a separate comment with the tweet URL.

You can connect with Nestle Juicy Juice and the Fruit for All Project on

Twitter and Facebook

I am not being compensated in any way for this post, except for the warmth in my heart knowing that I am doing something good. This giveaway will run for 10 days and is open to US residents. A winner will be selected from a count of the comments and the number plugged into random.org on Saturday, July 21, 2012.

GIVEAWAY IS NOW CLOSED.

TGIF: Choose Happy & Do Good

Welcome to....

Abraham Lincoln said, "Most folks are about as happy as they make up their minds to be."

"Happiness is a form of courage", said Holbrook Jackson.

A Chinese Proverb goes, "One joy scatters a hundred griefs."

And modern-day philosopher Robert Brault says, "Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things."

These thoughts are what TGIF: Get Your Happy On is all about.

Because life is crazy, hard, confusing, stressful and exhausting. But dammit, it's also beautiful.

I believe very strongly that we must CHOOSE happiness. Not just once, or every once in a while, but DAILY.

Not only happiness, but gratitude too. I bet if you try really hard, even on your worst day, you can find something - just one thing - to be grateful for.


And also charity, which is really only another word for love....
"Great opportunities to help others seldom come, but small ones surround us every day", from Sally Koch.
Some unknown person said, "Nobody can do everything, but everyone can do something."
I know I'm throwing a lot of quotes from other people at you, but I'm trying to make a point. That these three things - Happiness, Gratitude, Charity - are important to me. I think they should be important to all of us. Because on the dark days, which anyone who comes here regularly knows I have, searching for the good is essential.
I feel I do well at finding things to be happy about and grateful for. I still strive to be more charitable. I've got the bleeding heart, bot not always the means.
Guess what? I can use my blog to help others. And that's exactly what I'm going to do when I post about, and host a giveaway for, the Fruit for All Project.

This is a new program that will help get 35 million pieces of fresh fruit into the hands of hungry children all summer. Juicy Juice will provide two donations of 400 meals each:

• One donation of 400 meals to my local food bank; and
• Another donation of 400 meals to a nearby food bank of one of my readers

I feel passionately that NO ONE should ever go hungry. I have made small donations to my local food bank many times over the years.
Not only am I going to do the above, but I am also joining last week's TGIF guest, Jamie at Chosen Chaos, in her Run. Blog. Give. efforts.

Actually, I will WALK. Blog. Give. Be quiet, Jamie said I can! Each blogger chooses how they will give, and I pledge to give a non-perishable food item for ever mile I walk to my local food bank, along with the donation they will receive from Juicy Juice. I started on Tuesday with 1.05 miles which is 2 laps around the perimeter of my neighborhood, and I did the same yesterday.


Squee!
I am so excited about all this, for many reasons (which I won't go into now because this post is long enough!). Stay tuned for the giveaway coming next month!
Now GO! Get Your Happy On and link up below!
(Btw, I would really love for more people to know about TGIF, so if it wouldn't be too much trouble, could you pimp out this post? Shameless, I know. I don't care.)

Random Act of Kindness: Become an Organ Donor

Become an Organ Donor

This is something that is near and dear to my heart.  It should be near and dear to all of our hearts.

I believe we all have a moral obligation to be organ and tissue donors.

And not only because my husband has had a kidney/pancreas transplant and needs another one.  No, it's because 18 people will die each day waiting for an organ.

It does not matter what your religious beliefs are.  All major religions support the principles of donation and transplantation.

It is just your physical body anyway.  You don't need it anymore once you've passed on.  Really.  And even when you're still alive, there are parts of your body that you have multiples of, such as kidneys, or that can regnerate, such as the liver, bone marrow and blood.

Seriously.  Don't be a hoarder!

According to the United Network for Organ Sharing, or UNOS, the current transplant trends are:

• Waiting list candidates as of today: 111,724
• Active waiting list candidates:  72,346
• Transplants January - April 2011: 9,055
• Donors January - April 2011: 4,490

See those last 2 numbers?  Transplants vs. Donors?  The number of transplants is higher than the number of donors.  That's becasue one body can provide as many as 50 opportunities for transplantation. Fifty! Organs, skin, stem cells, eyes, perhaps even limbs. It's truly amazing!

Now here's the tricky part.  If you're all, "Yes!  I absolutely want to be an organ and tissue donor!", that's awesome.  But you have to SHARE YOUR DECISION with your loved ones.

Share your life.  Share your decision.  If your loved ones aren't aware that donation is part of your final wishes, they might say no when the doctors ask.  You can fill out an online donor registration form or tell the DMV you are a donor all you want, but if your next of kin say no, that's it.

The most important thing to do is to sign up  as an organ and tissue donor in your state's donor registry.  Then....

To cover all bases, it's also helpful to:
• Designate your decision on your driver's license
• Tell your family about your donation decision
• Tell your physician, faith leader, and friends
• Include donation in your advance directives,
  will, and living will

There is also an International Association for Organ Donation, as well as the Donate Life website.

I hope that each and every one of my readers will commit to being an organ and tissue donor....and then some!

Bleeding Hearts (For Art) Unite!

There is this little island in Indonesia called Bali.  Perhaps you've heard of it?

Is it just me, or is it shaped like a chicken? (Not making fun, I'm just saying.)

It's a beautiful place.  A major tourist destination with resorts and spas.  There's this really famous book in which a woman finds herself and falls in love in Bali.  It's a movie now too.  Perhaps you've heard of Eat Pray Love?  Great book.  One of my favorites.

Unfortunately, this is all I've ever known about Bali.  And unfortunately, it seems that all of this little island's beauty is masking a harsh reality.  Widespread poverty among its locals.

Very near Bali is the country of Australia.

Bali is there in that string of islands to the northwest of Australia (right there in the middle of the picture).

Apparently Aussies enjoy taking little jaunts over to Bali.  One such Aussie who has done so is a big-hearted blogger whom I've mentioned here before, Edenland.  Recently, Eden wrote a post titled Meddlesome Do-Gooding in which she spoke about a charitable organization called Project 18.

"Foundation 18, Indonesia runs a group home based at Ringdikit and education outreach program offering sponsorship to children who remain in the care of a family member.  Our five year goal is to have every child in Ringdikit fully immunised and attending school at least to senior high school level."

After reading about Project 18 a fellow blogger, Stay At Home Babe, decided she wanted to do something.  So she came up with a little idea called Heart For Art.

"Heart For Art is not a charity, legal entity or official anything. It’s the title I’m giving to the movement that WE (you & I) are going to start. We’re going to make art, by ourselves, with our kids, with local artists or school art classes, and we’re going to send it to these girls. Then they can send pictures back to us. Simple, right?"

Cool, right?  What's also cool is that I didn't stumble upon this directly.  Yet another blogger I follow, Mama's Monologues, wrote a post about the Babe's idea.  And I went, "Oh hey, I read about this org on Edenland and even already put the button in my sidebar!"






If YOU would like to mail some pretty pictures to the children in Bali to let them know there are folks all around the world thinking of them, there are 2 addresses to choose from:

Less expensive for those of us in the Northern Hemisphere:

UK address
Lerner Farrington
Attn: Heart For Art
18 Suffolk Rd
Lincoln, LN1 2UG
UK

Or, directly to Australia
Cate Bolt
Attn: Heart For Art
PO Box 239
Glass House Mountains, Qld 4518
Australia

More info
Project 18 has 9 girls in the group home aged 3 – 13. There are also 24 more children in the education outreach program. They take a family into the program – if there are 3 kids, 2 school aged and one toddler, they provide for all of them. Project 18 pays for the cost of their education, gives them clothing and a monthly staple food donation (usually 10kg of rice, sugar, eggs, milk powder, formula for babies, water, oil etc). These children still live with a family member, usually an uncle or grandparent, but still get the benefits of the program. There’s a long culture in Bali of sending children to orphanages when there are living parents simply because the parents can’t afford to keep them. Project 18 refuses to take children who have families, if their home is safe.

Other ways to help
*Web Hosting Services: Wanna self-host, want discounted rates and know that the cash from your hosting service will go to an amazing cause? http://www.project18.org.au/blog-hosting/
*Make a purchase from the Foundation 18 Inc. shop or Etsy shop.
*Buy a ‘brick’ of Fairtrade chocolate and help P18 build a ‘chocolate classroom’.
*Make a one off, or regular monthly contribution directly to Foundation 18, Indonesia
*Grab a banner or button from the Project 18 website and add it to your blog or website.
*Follow Project 18 Inc on Twitter and on Facebook. (Use the #Heart4Art hashtag on Twitter too)
*Participate in Auctions for Education – pick up a bargain and know the money is going to Educate kids.

What I love about this, and why I wanted to write a post too, along with at least 10 other bloggers so far, is that this is about regular people just like you and me wanting to do a little good.  And it's about an online GLOBAL community of people who want to use their little corner of the Internet to help spread a little love.

After the tragedy in Norway on Friday, as well as a local mass shooting yesterday, this kind of thing reminds me that most human beings are good and kind and care about the world around them.

Happy Sunday!


PS: Linking this post up as one of my faves of this week! Thanks to Adventures in Mommyhood!