Three Months Since My Husband Died

I have wanted to write about things other than my husband's death and my and my kids' grief in the last month and a half....

I really have.

My daughter's Sweet 16 birthday, for example. With a lot of help from my besties, I threw her a luau themed party (on a cloudy Puget Sound day). Throwing parties is not something I do often (or well), but she loved it and had a great time, which was all that mattered to me.

I remember telling Mark when I first started thinking about having a big to-do for her, that it would happen no matter what, like if he was in the hospital or something. He asked why he'd be in the hospital and I replied, "because you just are sometimes, duh!" He asserted that he wouldn't be in the hospital.

I suppose he was right.

Today

I just want to tell you what we did today.

It was such a little thing, really. A family outing that probably most people just do and don't really think much of.

But it's kind of a bigger deal to me.

Because Mark can't drive anymore (I never could, remember) and he may have one doctor appointment or another, or be in the hospital, or even just not feel well enough....

So we don't do many fun things as a family these days. I do things sometimes, and our kids do too, with friends and such. Once in awhile Mark gets to as well.

Today? We took a quick 15 minute drive with Mark's paid caregiver to a local beach and picnic area called Kayak Point.

(Don't think the caregiver is supposed to take us to do such things, but it's very nice that she wants to; kind of feels like she's taking care of all of us a little bit.)

10 Best Instagrams So Far This Year

Confession:

I am an Instagram slacker this year.

Sometimes I think I need to go back to the #FMSphotoaday challenge

to maybe get my mojo back.

My life has just been too distracting away from social media!

I mean, I've taken lots of pictures of my husband's chest and heel wounds.

But ain't nobody wanna see that!

Ahem.

I have shared some photos, though, and these are the ones my followers liked the most.

5 Best Instagrams of December

Here is the final monthly installment of my most liked Instagram pictures!

I did this all year in 2014 (except for ONE month).

So even though it's a new year, I still have to wrap it up with....

Instagram Hearts: December

2014 (obviously).

These are the pictures you guys liked the best last month!

Camryn & AJ decorating our skinny, little tree.
(Yes, AJ was actually participating,
he just chose that moment to look bored.)

4 Best Instagrams of November

Wait. What?

Psst: she isn't supposed to post this until Wednesday!

Yes, you're right.

I have a good reason for hitting publish a couple of days early, though.

I'm sharing my most hearted (liked) Instagrams of November on Monday instead of

Wednesday because I am co-hosting an Instagram link-up with Dreaming of Leaving.

Imma share my pics, and then we'll get to the linky, m'kay?

Instagram Hearts: November

Instagrammers love pictures of food!

Looks good, doesn't it?

6 Best Instagrams of October

I have been doing these posts all of this year.

Once a month, the first Wednesday.

Except last month.

I did not share my Best Instagrams of September...

because I really didn't share very many that month.

My husband spent nine days in the hospital.

That's my excuse.

I did share the very best ONE on my Facebook page, however.

October was a bit better in the picture-taking department, so I give you:

Instagram Hearts: October

One morning my daughter discovered Julius lying like this
on the top of the couch. She took this pic, I Instagrammed it!

The Canadians Made Me Do It

I think a gratitude list is called for in honor of Canadian Thanksgiving this weekend.

I wish American Thanksgiving was in October too, because it's just too close to Christmas.

No one's gonna listen to me though, are they?

The Ninth Day of 9th Grade

I'm a late with this.

But ya know, husband in the hospital and all that....

Also though, the teenager leaves for school at 6:15 in the morning.

Ain't nobody in the mood for picture taking at that hour!

So I give you....

On the 11th day. Whatever.

The Third Day of 3rd Grade

Again this year my son AJ was thoroughly into summer and enjoyed it just as much as he absolutely could....

All the way up until he met his new teacher and saw his new classroom. As he was looking around the portable, he stopped and said, "I'm kind of excited for school to start."

Well, you could have knocked me over with a feather!

Best Instagram of August

I did not take very many pictures in August.

Let alone any that were very good.

I don't know what happened.

So....

I"m just going to share the best ONE this time for:

6 Best Instagrams of July

Ohmigosh it's already August!

I really feel like July just whizzed by.

Could be why I kind of sucked at hitting all the Photo-a-Day prompts.

Never mind, I still had some wildly popular photos!

("Wildly popular" is subjective. Ahem.)

Instagram Hearts: July

Pretty sunrise on the way to dialysis with the husband.

5 Best Instagrams of June

When I put together my May Instagrams post I asserted that months with 31 days are too long.

So then June pretty much screamed by!

That'll learn me.

Time for:

Instagram Hearts: June

These are the pictures YOU guys "hearted" (liked) the most last month.

I wanted to point that out because a couple are kind of funny....

5 Best Instagrams of May

I decided in May that months with 31 days are too long.

I mean, I got really bored with May. Too much May.

Seems silly; it's only ONE more day.

Anyway....time for....

Instagram Hearts: May

These are my photos that were "hearted" (liked) the most on Instagram last month.

It will be a kitty sandwich!

Just a gratuitous cute sleeping cat shot.

6 Best Instagrams of April

I feel like the 7th shouldn't be the FIRST Wednesday of the month.

Regardless of how I feel about the date, it's time for:

Instagram Hearts: April

These are my photos that were "hearted" (liked) the most on Instagram!

4-2-14
NOT a tulip field in the middle of the Skagit Valley Tulip Festival.
They're daffodils!

Swinging Into Spring

My niece and mother-in-law where here visiting at the beginning of the month.

One afternoon, niece Lindsay, who is 20, went with my kids down to our neighborhood playground,

and took these great action shots of them jumping off the swings....with her iPhone.

7 Best Instagrams of March

It is the first Wednesday of April, which means it is time for my monthly installment of

Instagram Hearts: March

(Have you caught on that I am posting these the first Wednesday of every month?)

Normally I list them in chronological order, but last month one certain photo stood out

extra special among the others, so I am saving it for last.

3-2-14
For the Photo-a-Day prompt "something borrowed".
I borrowed this protective wine bottle bag from my friend to safely transport
the bottle of Syrah she sent me on my cruise with. I thought it was kinda
funny that this got so many likes.

3-8-14
Actually posted on the 10th, for the Photo-a-Day prompt "in the corner".
This was my view standing on the Serenity Deck at the back of the cruise ship.

3-12-14
When your little boy looks up at you sweetly you must take a picture!

3-17-14
We call this a "cilantro citrus shredded pork taco", and it's delicious!
It was the result of the idea to throw a pork roast in the crock pot with pineapple.
I looked up recipes, pinned one that said to also add rum and orange wedges.
When we discovered how easily it was going to shred, we decided TACOS!

3-21-14
For the Photo-a-Day prompt "full".
Because this tree was FULL of flowers.

3-27-14
For the Photo-a-Day prompt "I am here".
This was me looking to the east over the soccer fields next door to our neighborhood.

And the very special photo, which was chosen as a Photo-a-Day "Fab 4" by Fat Mum Slim for the prompt "cropped" was:

3-19-14
My ginger kitty Julius is famous - I'm so proud!

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Instagram Hearts February

OMG I'm leaving for my very first ever cruise tomorrow!

I am hoping I will be able to Instagram my little heart out during said cruise.

But first, my most hearted (liked) Instagrams of February.

For the #FMSphotoaday prompt "Details"
Close-up of a blanket I crocheted

Little surprise box of Valentine's chocolates

Spotted my boys on the couch like this and just had to take the pic!
Little bit later I realized it would work for the #FMSphotoaday prompt "Vegetable".

This is the purse my mom made me for my cruise!

Wanted to get my fingers manicured before cruising.
I dunno why. Doubt anyone will be paying attention to my fingers.
But they did need it; she really had to work on my cuticles!

When the sun shines, I walk outside!
Stopped for this one for the #FMSphotoaday prompt "Light".

Again, 2 days later, I was walking and noticed this on my way home.
Looked like Mt. Pilchuck was growing a cloud!

There was a time when I thought I would never care about taking pictures.
I thought because of my poor eyesight, I couldn't do it, or I
wouldn't be concerned with looking at pictures.

Just one of my many dumb thoughts.

As it turns out, pictures often help me see things CLEARER,
and looking back at my BABIES? Ooph.

I've shared this quote before. It says it so well.

Instagram Hearts January

A couple of times last year I shared my most hearted (liked) Instagram pictures in a month.
This year I'd like to do it every month.

Because photos help tell our stories.

For January 2014 I have six 'grams to share:

1-5-14
Frosty morning

1-7-14
The red PF Flyers I gave my daughter for Christmas

1-9-14
Me, fresh out of the shower, for the #FMSphotoaday prompt of "Natural".
I also tagged the #365feministselfie project.
I was a little surprised by how many hearts this one got!

1-17-14
I Instagrammed this one of my newborn AJ because of the post
I wrote about missing my babies.

1-24-14
This was my BFF's super fab birthday cake!

1-25-14
This was my view as my airplane descended into Seattle
when I came home from California.
Who doesn't love a good sunset!?

Do you use Instagram? What makes you heart a picture?

I'm a Lying Liar Who Lies

Week before last I wrote a lovely little post about my 25 year friendship with my high school BFF and how we're taking a little trip together in celebration of our 40th birthdays.

That wasn't the whole truth.

I lied by omission.

There was something I HAD to leave out because it was a BIG SURPRISE. I couldn't tell you guys because JHo reads my blog (of course she does!), and if I had spilled the beans on this and ruined the surprise her husband planned for her birthday, I'm pretty sure I would have been stoned to death!

For serious. You guys, this surprise was planned and executed as if the Secret Service themselves were in on it.

The cruise JHo and I are taking is true. We ARE indeed doing that. That is a separate thing from what her husband had planned for her big day.

JHo's husband is Joe, and he hatched, plotted, schemed and orchestrated this elaborate plan on THE PLANNER herself. He made it so she had all her best friends on hand to celebrate her birthday with.

Three of us had to be flown in for the festivities. One local friend was charged with making semi-fake plans with JHo to get her to Joe's Crab Shack where the surprise would be sprung. Joe had to round everyone up at the airport, which was nearly foiled because I almost didn't make my connecting flight. My luggage didn't make it.

Do you have any idea how hard it was for this social media lovin' girl to keep her tweeting fingers from saying anything about the fact that I was leaving home all by myself for the first time since my daughter was born? Can you imagine my excitement? My anxiety??

But everything came together with perfect timing. JHo spent just the right amount of time shopping at Ikea before heading to the restaurant. We pulled up JUST AS JHo was walking in, her friend making sure she didn't spot us.

The plan was that Joe would give JHo "gifts" that were framed pictures of the three of us who flew in. However, my picture was in my suitcase which didn't make the connection in Las Vegas. So I called her instead, and walked into the restaurant as I was trying to have some sort of normal conversation with her. I was failing miserably.

Thankfully, it wasn't hard to find her. When she spotted me, she burst into tears. I quickly came around the table for a hug.

Joseph!

All JHo could think to ask when we sat down was, "Who drove you to the airport?" I answered her, but was thinking, "Really Jen, that's what you wanna know?"

Her other peeps came in and surprised her. There was an "OMG!" and a "NO!" or two or twelve. JHo was shaking with excitement as she started putting the pieces together.

"LIARS!", she called each and every one of us.

Yes, we're liars, and damn proud of it!

We ate lunch, my luggage was retrieved and we headed to the JHome in Chico where we were whisked off to a birthday dinner with more friends and family.

The next day we took a mini tour of the Sierra Nevada Brewery and went bar hopping. I had Fireball and "Scooby snack" shots, and a Sex on the Beach. We attempted to dance to the longest techno rap song ever, were refused entry into the Crazy Horse, took a cab home where a few of us sampled apple pie moonshine and I ate the other half of the best turkey melt in creation, albeit cold and not at all still melty.

On Saturday we watched my Godson's basketball game, dashed into McDonald's for sustenance and made our way on BFE two-lane roads back to the Sacramento airport which was eerily empty, but therefor seriously easy to get through.

Once aboard my flight home I settled into the row I had all to myself and thought about the whirlwind that had just ensued....

Prior to the trip I figured getting to do this would make waiting for our cruise together easier. I wondered when the last time was JHo and I had spent any time just the two of us. You know, before husbands and babies and LIFE. I thought hard and could only come up with the weekend we went shopping for my wedding dress 16 years ago. Suddenly I ached for just a few moments to sit, relax and TALK to my friend. It feels like a very selfish thought after having a fabulous and fun time with such cool people.

Very cool people who are good liars, helped pull off the birthday coup of the decade and will leave JHo questioning everything for the rest of her life!

Wordless: Autumn

Took a few cool pictures this Fall, all with my phone....