March 5, 2012

A Critical Listicle

Yes, Mark is still in the hospital and I am still doing a Listicle.

It won't be about this week's topic, however.

1. Thursday - Saturday were really hard. I left Mark at the hospital Thursday afternoon thinking he'd only be in for a night of observation.

2. Before Friday could dawn, I got 2 of the worst phone calls a wife can get. My husband's heart had gone into A-Fib, stopped and restarted, shocked again to try to stop the A-Fib, he was intubated and moved to critical care.

3. I rushed to the hospital because he was scary unstable. Really scary unstable. Like, the worst could happen, unstable.

4. Nothing happened on Friday. I left my children with friends and went home with the most nervous stomach I've ever had in my life. Saturday morning I wrote THIS.

5. I was so tired and out of it on Saturday. Often when things like this happen I move in slow motion. It's hard for me to make decisions and I just don't really care about anything besides what's going on with Mark.

6. But Sunday was better. I slept better and got good news when I called his nurse. The next thing I knew, she was calling me back to tell me Mark was fully awake and asking for me. I cannot tell you how amazing hearing that feels!

7. Seeing him awake and talking to him makes the hugest world of difference. I feel so helpless when he's not able to communicate how he feels and what he thinks. Also, his inherent charisma just makes everything better. Even in these dire situations. He was cracking me up with how pissed he was about being shocked!



8. I want to revel in the relief of Sunday's developments, but I'm still guarded. He's not out of the woods yet. There's still plenty to worry about. I have no idea what his prognosis is, how life might change going forward or what we're facing. Those answers will come in the days ahead.

9. YOU GUYS! You guys, whether in real life or here on my computer, have been amazing! You have said the sweetest things, You have HELD me. Honestly, I think blogging came into my life at exactly the right time, when I would need the supportive connections I've made most. The way everyone has rallied around me...it's overwhelming. In a good way!

10. This road we're on, this life of ours with it's sad and scary times, is unpredictable. I never know what will be around the next corner. And it scares the hell out of me! But what I do know is that I am not alone. I know I am loved and cared for and thought of. It really does make a difference. Please, hold your loved ones tight and tell them you love them. Because life can change on a dime. Do it so you have no regrets. Do it for me and Mark.



42 comments:

  1. Look at those handsome men!!

    I am so happy that things are looking up and that you can finally breath again. Sending more big squishy virtual hugs your way and all sorts of strength for both you and Mark
    Jenn

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  2. I'm SO, SO happy to hear that he's doing better and awake and asking for you. I'm sorry that you've had the bejebus scared out of you, and as you know, I'm here for you.

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  3. What a hugely scary thing you've been going through. I'm so sorry! But so glad to hear things are looking up. Hugs to you!

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    1. I think things are going in the right direction...I *think*.

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  4. I can't even imagine how terrifying this has been for all of you. I'm so glad that things are looking up. Sending strength your way.

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  5. Keeping up the prayers for a full (and then some!) recovery. Quickly back to normal (or is old self ;^}

    Praying you take care of yourself, too. It pains me to think of the toll this has taken on you, my sweet baby.

    Continuing to hold Mark in white light with perfect health and in Joy and Love.

    Kisses and HUGE hugs to you and the kids!

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  6. Oh my God.
    I don't know how you do it. You are amazing. I am thinking about you and saying a lot of prayers for your husband's recovery. I just want you to know how much I am in awe of your strength. The littlest scare sends me into a huge tizzy and you have been dealt so many huge, real scares. I'm thinking about you. So glad you can blog about it too. PS: I want to feature you on my Moms I Admire series. You don't have to let me know now - whenever you can - let me know at some point. (-:

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    1. Oh Ado, you say the sweetest things. And that you admire me? Thank you! I would be honored to be part of your series. Do you remember you're scheduled to do TGIF for me later this month?

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  7. I'm so sorry you've been going through such an awful time! I'm glad he's doing better and continues to improve quickly. You're right...people think there's always time later. But life really can change in an instant.

    Your children are lucky to have such a strong mom. This must be a scary time for them. And your husband is lucky to have such a devoted wife. You'll be in my thoughts and prayers. Hugs to you!

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    1. Thank you so much, Jacqui. Your words mean a lot.

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  8. Oh Jen, you hit it on the nail here. I don't know what to say accept that life really isn't fair. Your family is so beautiful, all this should not be happening! You are a strong lady my friend. Big hugs!!
    Hope Mark is home by tomorrow.

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    1. Thank you, Stasha. He won't be home tomorrow, but that's OK. I just want to figure this out and make him better.

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  9. this is such scary stuff. You're such a friggin' trooper!

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    1. I'm only able to be a trooper cuz Mark is such a trooper!

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  10. Although things are still a little up in the air, I'm so glad to hear your husband is awake and better and even making you laugh! I can't even imagine what a huge relief that must have been. You are strong beyond anything I can imagine. I'm also really glad everyone online that's been pulling for you was able to help provide some comfort. Hope things continue to get better for your beautiful family!

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  11. So glad to hear things are looking up, hope they continue to stay going in that direction. And still thinking of you!!

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  12. Jen, I'm so sorry you all are going through this. So GLAD though that things are going better than they were on Saturday. Hang in there!!!

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  13. So glad to hear your Mark is doing better, and I am so sorry you had such a scare. I so know that feeling of not wanting to fully buy in to your hope and optimism. You are amazing in your ability to process all that is happening to you and your family and to keep it all moving. I know you do what you have to do, but it's so hard.Your perspective and love are beautiful and a gift to everyone who reads your words. Prayers and good thoughts for all of you and may only good news come your way.

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  14. So glad to hear Mark's better. So glad you are doing better too. Wish I could come by and help you through this.

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    1. He's not on a breathing tube anymore, but he's not necessarily better. I honestly really don't know how things are going to be.

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  15. I have been thinking of you and praying for you constantly. Your strength is inspiring (but know that you don't have to be strong all the time. it is ok to let others take care of you). SO GLAD Mark is doing better. I can't imagine how scary or overwhelming it must be, but try (easy for me to say) not to think about way into the future, just take it one step at a time. Thank you for reminding me to take nothing for granted and enjoy every moment I have with the people I love.

    Hugs to you, friend.

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  16. That's definitely a step in the right direction. Hopefully things continue to look up for you!

    You are so right - people always think that there's "later" when that isn't always the case. We need to tell our loved ones every day how much they mean to us.

    Sending you good thoughts!

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  17. Glad to things are getting a little better! Hopefully he will recover and come home soon! Sending good thoughts your way!

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  18. Keeping y'all in my prayers. xo

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  19. Jen, I am thinking of you and your family and praying that things continue to go in the best direction for you all. Just know that your friends are surrounding you with love and support.

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  20. I'm happy things are looking up, even guardedly. I can't even imagine what you have gone through this weekend. Here's to better days ahead.

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  21. Oh gosh...I had no idea you were going through all this! You're amazing and so strong. You know I am a big believer in Prayer and am lifting you and Mark up right now! So thankfull for the recovery he has made so far, and believing that it will continue.
    I love this blogging community...all these uplifting and encouraging comments for you and your family: you are not alone my dear! *hugs*

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  22. So glad to hear Mark is better. Stay strong, believe and know that many are thinking of you both. May he go from strength to strength.

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  23. Keeping you and Mark in my thoughts and prayers, lady!!

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  24. Just found this blog and wanted to wish you and your family well. I'm sending you lots of virtual healing energy (maybe that sounds a bit flaky, but you never know what might work...)

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  25. Hello Jen. I'm Ava from Cebu, Philippines. I just want you to know, that you truly are something of a super woman. Prayers and happy positive thoughts your way.

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