January 2, 2015

Getting Back Into It: A Brain Dump

So I've taken nearly two weeks off from publishing anything here.

It's been good, but my blog has been on my mind the entire time. I've been thinking non-stop about so many things I could write.

It's funny, before I started to blog 4 1/2 years ago, I didn't fret over such things. Now that I do blog, it's like I HAVE to. Blogging is like crack.

Know what else is funny, that I feel the need to write about how much I've been thinking about writing before I can get on with what I want to say.

Thinking about what to share is clogging my brain so that actually doing the sharing is hindered!

Stupid brain. It even kind of hurts. Like, literally, I've had a slight headache for a couple of days.

(It could be that I'm not drinking enough water, but I'd rather blame the immense amount of THINKING going on.)

As I've said, I needed to take this break over the Holidays because concentrating on blogging has not been easy for me anyway. Again, with there being so much on my mind. Time, space and quiet to concentrate on any one thing seems to be a luxury I can't afford these days.

I didn't even put my Christmas decorations away properly! I wonder if I'll be able to find them all next December....


Our Holidays were good....we have such sweet and generous loved ones. Except for one thing: my mom and step-dad came up for Christmas, but got sick. My mom spent all of Christmas Day in bed and they fled for home the day after, in hopes of not infecting any of us, especially Mark. As my mom put it, it was an "un-Christmas" for them. This sucked so much, because it had been since the previous Christmas that I had seen them (my kids spent a week with them in August). I'm hoping and praying I will get to see them before another year passes.

We've had some changes occur since I last posted. My wonderful mother-in-law, who has been such a tremendous help to us for the last three months, has decided she must return home to California to sort out what she'll be able to do moving forward. This is both disappointing and unsettling. We were pretty sad while we absorbed the news.

And this was how I felt.

BUT, Mark's dad thinks he can come help for awhile, so hopefully that will be good too. I had emailed him to tell him some things I didn't think he understood about how Mark's medical conditions have changed things around here (hard to get the full picture over the phone). I suggested that he should come for a visit so he could see first hand how much harder things are. I wasn't expecting him to jump right away.

My son and mother-in-law share their birthday, January 21. AJ is sad that he won't be able to celebrate with her because she's leaving. She said she was very sorry, and he said, "It's OK, Mama. It'll be OK." ("Mama" is what her grandkids call her.) Ooph, that kid. Squeezed our hearts with that one.

And then a new year shows up.

Moving forward with writing, I want to share my word (and maybe a few resolutions) for 2015 and an update on how Mark is doing, among other things. As I said, my son's birthday is this month, so I will do an interview with him. Oh, and December's best Instagrams is on the schedule....

-- Edited to add --

Also, I think I will be getting even more honest, and even raw, as I navigate through my husband's chronic illnesses and my role as his primary caregiver.

Deep breaths.

-- End edit --

Beginning next week I will be participating in Tuesday Ten's birthday giveaway!

One more thing, I'm #73 in the Couch Daddy's "New Year's Wishes, in 6 Words" post. Go check it out!

Alright, I think my brain is fairly well dumped....for now.

How are you? How were your Holidays?
What's on your mind?

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