November 4, 2010

The First Step to admit you have a problem.  I have a problem with the fact that I was recently faced with one of my worst fears: losing the love of my life and father of my children.

It has been 6 weeks since my husband Mark had double bypass surgery on his heart.  When his surgeon cut him open he discovered a terrible infection.  He was a lot sicker than anyone had anticipated.  That night his heart stopped 3 times.  We almost lost him.

I am still struggling with this.  I'm afraid to SPEAK it for fear that I will just melt into uncontrollable sobs and not be able to actually get the words out.  So I've decided that I need to blog it out, have my nearest and dearest read it so that we're all on the same page, and then maybe have some conversations.

This is my first post about this, my first step.  It will be interesting to try to get everything swimming around in my head and my heart out in some succinct manner.  I will do my best.

All I know is I don't want to dwell in the night of September 21, 2010 forever.  I need to work through this and let it go.

1 comment:

  1. That sounds like my worst nightmare too! I don't know if I could ever get over it. I hope you're healing. And I hope he's healthy now.