The Mom (Woman) Pledge

The Mom Pledge

I am proud to be a mom. I will conduct myself with integrity in all my online activities. I can lead by example.

I pledge to treat my fellow moms with respect. I will acknowledge that there is no one, "right" way to be a good Mom. Each woman makes the choices best for her family.

I believe a healthy dialogue on important issues is a good thing. I will welcome differing opinions when offered in a respectful, non-judgmental manner. And will treat those who do so in kind.

I stand up against cyber bullying. My online space reflects who I am and what I believe in. I will not tolerate comments that are rude, condescending or disrespectful.

I refuse to give those who attack a platform. I will remove their remarks with no mention or response. I can take control.

I want to see moms work together to build one another up, not tear each other down. Words can be used as weapons. I will not engage in that behavior.

I affirm that we are a community. As a member, I will strive to foster goodwill among moms. Together, we can make a difference.

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"There seems to be no end to the topics that can generate controversy. A recent poll of Mom bloggers revealed 76% had experienced or witnessed cyber bullying between moms on online."

You know, I think this is a great idea, a great pledge to take, a great word to spread.

But it shouldn't even be an issue!

Cyber bullying of moms?

Really, people?

Shame on anyone who picks on a mother.  Extra shame on a mom who picks on a fellow mom.

In my 11 years as a mom I have learned that each and every one of us is doing the best we can with what we've got.  We ALL love our kids.  We ALL want the best for them.

There is no argument about that.

Anything else we could argue about, is all personal choice and opinion.  And you can't tell people how to feel, what to value, what you think they should be doing.  Even if someone asks your advice, still the only thing you can offer is your personal opinion.  The other person doesn't have to agree.

Is that annoying?  I know, right?  But....

We should be kind, caring and compassionate enough to have healthy debates that don't denegrate one another.

I know it's frustrating when you don't agree with something someone's doing.  I get frustrated all the bloody time (hence Fantasy Eff Off Fridays)!  Venting is healthy. Attacking is not.  We are ultimately only responsible for our own actions, our own stuff.

And we are responsible for what we put out there.

"Life is like a boomerang; what you give, you get back."

If we want support, we need to give it.  If we want understanding, we need to give it.

Moms really need these things.

Women in general need these things.

Why do you think there are so many women/mom bloggers?

We should support and try to understand one another EVERY DAY.

No jealousy, spite, conceit or negativity.

I hope, here in my personal Internet space, that I am putting out positive energy more than I'm not.  I hope that my posts make people smile. When I do write about sad or difficult things, my hope is that I will be given support and understanding.  I also hope I am succeeding in giving these things to others.

The last thing any of us needs to do is tear another woman down.  We do enough of that to ourselves.

"There is a special place in hell for women who do not help other women."

~Madeleine K. Albright

We say we want strong female relationships, yet we so often do things to undermine them.  Our busy lives, obligations, assumptions and insecurities all get in the way.  I'm guilty of it.  Perhaps you are too.  We can always try harder.  Just be real, honest, kind and loving, and hopefully the rest will take care of itself.

So here's to you, my fellow moms, fellow women!

Places I Love to Be

Monday Listicles with Stasha of The Good Life is challenging and fun.  This week, Saretta at Amid the Olive Trees (she's an American living in Italy - so fancy!) has chosen the topic of "10 Places You Love".

I took this to mean any sort of place - geographical, just a spot or even a state of being....

Last Thanksgiving

1. Sitting at my kitchen table having dinner with my family - we need a bigger table, but I always feel so gratified when we're sitting around it eating and talking together.

2. Starbucks - does this need any explanation?  Between Caramel Apple Spices, Peppermint Mochas and just plain ole regular coffee drinks...

3. The back of Mark’s neck - scratch it, kiss it, just look at it :-)

This is actually the arm of my couch with my knitting sitting on it.
I'm ashamed that I don't have a pic that includes a glass of wine.

4. My end of the couch with a glass of wine and my knitting.

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5. The entire West Coast of the US - everyone I love lives somewhere in Washington, Oregon and California.  I live in Washington and lived in California for 17 years.

6. My computer - honestly, it contains very important parts of my life.  Simple as that.  It's how I keep in touch with several people, manage household stuff, get news and other information, it's how I do this blog and get to be a part of something bigger than myself even though I'm just at home.  it's kind of amazing, really.

7. Anywhere there’s a pretty sunset - I think sunsets are pretty much one of the best things in nature!

8. The movie theater - I love going to see a movie in the theater. I love the feeling of being closed off from the rest of the world for a couple of hours and immersing myself in a story.

Please excuse the little orange Xs. Photobucket's fault!

9. My house - It's not that my house is special.  It's just that it's OURS.  Took us a LONG time to be able to buy a house and I kind of love it.

10. With my friends - "There's not much that can't be cured by a good GNO!"  They have been few and far between lately, but when we're at our best, being with my friends lifts me up, makes me feel loved, makes me laugh and feel connected.

Silent Sunday

"Last Friday Night": A Songversation

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 As a mother of a newly minted tween daughter about to enter middle school, this song makes me want to scream.

And that cover above?

Really?

I'm sure you're not trying to sell yourself as a role model, but c'mon Katy Perry, young girls are listening to your music!

"Last Friday Night (T.G.I.F.)"

There's a stranger in my bed,
There's a pounding in my head
Glitter all over the room
Pink flamingos in the pool
I smell like a minibar
DJ's passed out in the yard
Barbie's on the barbeque
Is this a hickie or a bruise?

Pictures of last night
Ended up online
I'm screwed
Oh well
It's a blacked out blur
But I'm pretty sure it ruled
Damn

Last Friday night
Yeah we danced on tabletops
And we took too many shots
Think we kissed but I forgot

Last Friday night
Yeah we maxed our credit cards
And got kicked out of the bar
So we hit the boulevard

Last Friday night
We went streaking in the park
Skinny dipping in the dark
Then had a ménage à trois
Last Friday night
Yeah I think we broke the law
Always say we're gonna stop
Whoa-oh-oah

This Friday night
Do it all again
This Friday night
Do it all again

Trying to connect the dots
Don't know what to tell my boss
Think the city towed my car
Chandelier is on the floor
Ripped my favorite party dress
Warrant's out for my arrest
Think I need a ginger ale
That was such an epic fail

Pictures of last night
Ended up online
I'm screwed
Oh well
It's a blacked out blur
But I'm pretty sure it ruled
Damn

Last Friday night
Yeah we danced on table tops
And we took too many shots
Think we kissed but I forgot

Last Friday night
Yeah we maxed our credit cards
And got kicked out of the bar
So we hit the boulevards

Last Friday night
We went streaking in the park
Skinny dipping int he dark
Then had a ménage à trois

Last Friday night
Yeah I think we broke the law
Always say we're gonna stop
Oh whoa oh

This Friday night
Do it all again
Do it all again
This Friday night
Do it all again
Do it all again
This Friday night

T.G.I.F.
T.G.I.F.
T.G.I.F.
T.G.I.F.
T.G.I.F.
T.G.I.F.

Last Friday night
Yeah we danced on table tops
And we took too many shots
Think we kissed but I forgot

Last Friday night
Yeah we maxed our credit cards
And got kicked out of the bar
So we hit the boulevard

Last Friday night
We went streaking in the park
Skinny dipping in the dark
Then had a ménage à trois

Last Friday night
Yeah I think we broke the law
Always say we're gonna stop
Oh-whoa-oh
This Friday night
Do it all again

 We have satellite TV so I listen to SiriusXM's The Pulse a lot, and this song is played quite regularly.  Whenever it comes on I groan, roll my eyes and turn it down.  If Camryn is in the room, I'm sure to explain, "I hate this song."

The first time I said this she asked me why.  I replied that I think what she's singing about is stupid and really inappropriate for kids.

Thankfully, my dear daughter is still young and innocent enough (whose ADD lets things fly right over her head quite a bit) to take my word for it.

She simply nodded and said, "Yeah."

If she inquired further I might like to say that many young people think the kind of partying described in that song is great fun and can't get enough.  But I guarantee most people who have or do, have some regrets.  I would probably go on to say that there are plenty of ways to have fun - being young and dumb - without being utterly irresponsible.

I might also venture to add that while I'm all for living it up, having fun, sewing your wild oats and all that jazz, it is certainly not something any 11 year old girl needs to be thinking about.  That I know she's about to be thrust into a more grown-up environment and she's going to be exposed to a lot more as each year passes, but it's my job as her mother to protect her.

Not shelter.  But yes, protect.  At least some.

I want Camryn to know that I know where she's at because I've been there too.  Truly.  I remember my awkward tween years, and I definitely remember my teens.

If she wanted to know more about why I hate this song, I would tell her these things just aren't necessary.  That I get angry at singers who don't think it's any big deal.  Kids really are impressionable.

I would also tell Cami that I know it's also my responsibility to shield her from things I don't want her exposed to.  I know that if I don't approve of it it's my prerogative to not let her see or hear about it.

But we all know there's only so much we can do as parents when popular culture is extremely pervasive.

I love pop culture!  I love music, TV and movies.  I think I have a great sense of humor, am not easily offended by taboo subjects and contrary to what I'm saying here, I am not a prude.  I am an adult who knows how to process and filter the barrage of influences coming at me.  I am the mother of a beautiful girl too.

That last part?  Is a major perspective changer, and I guess I just don't get why a talented young woman wants to come off as such a stupid brat, and probably send a way wrong message to girls.

Songversation: Take a current song that teens and tweens are listening to, share the lyrics,
and offer a conversation that you might have with your child about the song. (inspired by Ooph)

 

7 Years is Too Long

I am home from Lake Tahoe and can’t stop thinking about all the great parts of our trip and just have to pour my heart out about them!

First there’s the not so little fact that this trip would not have been possible without the generosity of my mother and step-father who flew the kids and I down, provided room and board and threw a little party in our honor. I know they’re getting something out of it too, but still. I mean, they don’t do things half-assed. I just kept saying "thank you" and "thanks" to everything and I hope they know how grateful I am. Here, I’ll say it again: Mom and Doug, I love that you did this for us. Thank you so much!

Then there is my BFF and her hubby. J.Ho and Joe live in Chico, CA, a mere 3 ½ hours from Tahoe, so they seized the opportunity to see us and came up for the weekend. There’s never been anything half-assed about them either. They rented a cabin, hung out with my kids and had the 3 of us over for dinner, a sleepover and breakfast. Not to mention some time at the beach before they had to leave on Sunday. Their generosity and attention to detail awed me. J.Ho, I love you and your family very much and I thank you for all you did in order to see us!

The attention to detail part?

My J.Ho brought some flipflop wine with her!

Also?

My step-dad totally went out of his way to take my and J.Ho’s kids on a fire station tour (he’s a retired firefighter).

I am so very touched by all of this, and more. Seeing members of my mom’s family was LONG overdue. I loved getting to hang out with my Grama, aunt and cousin. I only wish I could’ve seen everyone.

I felt so proud watching Cami riding my mom’s horse all by herself. Not to mention how much AJ also liked riding the horses. My mom loves her horses more than just as much as she loves her family, so I know it makes her happy to be able to share something that means so much to her with her grandkids (because the horse thing seems to have skipped a generation). And I love watching my step-dad with my kids because he is someone who never had any kids of his own, yet he is really great with them.

Something that might seem inconsequential to most, but isn’t to me, is having a glass of wine with my mom while we watch All My Children together. Actually pretty neat that we squeezed that particular bonding time in considering the show is ending next month. My mom and I are very different, but we’ve both loved that show for years!

And then I felt so refreshed satisfied grounded by being at near IN Lake Tahoe. Now that I’m home, it feels like it was sort of a reboot. It was kind of perfect to go there right before we get ready to head into a new school year and all that entails.

There are also a couple of “side effects”, if you will, from the trip.

While I had a great time, I really did miss Mark. I missed sharing it with him and having fun with him. He absolutely deserves a vacation too (although he can never take a vacation from dialysis). I fully felt like it was just me and my kids on our own and it honestly made me think, as I was floating in a raft on the Lake, “Is this what it will feel like when Mark’s gone?” And then, since he’s my very best friend, the one person I can say just about anything to, “What will I do without him?”

(No, he’s not at death’s door, but he sometimes likes to practice which makes me think about these things.)

On a brighter note, I have come home with a desire to be a bit more outdoorsy. We spent more time outside than we did in and it reminded me of how nice walking in the woods or going to the beach, or even just sitting outside on the porch, can be.

A Lake Tahoe Photo Log (would that be a Phlog?)

This is our last day of vacation with family and friends at South Lake Tahoe, CA and since I have a few moments, wanted to share some of my pictures. Doing this from my phone and I have no idea how it will turn out...

First view of the Lake.

Camryn on Gabe.

AJ on Bandit.

Camryn trotting on Gabe.

AJ in the water at Meeks Bay.

Camryn in the water at Meeks Bay.

Me and my kids.

My mom and kids around the campfire at Meeks Bay.

All the ladies of the Fam - Grama, Mom, Aunt, Me, Cousin & Camryn.

My beautiful Grama.

AJ and a fire hose (GranDoug scored a firehouse tour).

AJ sliding down the fire pole!

My mom and Camryn and the fire hose.

Guest Post: Fashionista? More Like Fashion-NeedAStylist

I'm sure everyone who reads me is well aware by now that I am on vacation this week.

Yes, Jennifer, you've mentioned it.

Right. So, I decided this was the perfect excuse opportunity to ask for my very first guest post from a blogger I dig.  My choice was simple, didn't have to think about it much at all.

Who do I love to read every single time they post?  Who has been open and fun to tweet with?  Who puts a smile on my face?

The Sarcasm Goddess.

I'm not saying she's the ONLY blogger who fits the bill, but, well, you'll see.....

* * * * *

I cannot think of a greater honor than being asked to guest post on a fellow blogger’s blog. Imagine!Someone gives up control of their blog for one whole day to let you write whatever you want. WHATEVER YOU WANT. And if they don’t like it, tough! There’s nothing they can do about it. They have to display your content no matter how stupid, boring or vulgar it is lest they break the legally binding conditions of Guest Posting.

What?!

That’s not true?! There are no legally binding conditions? They don’t absolutely have to post what I write for fear Very Bad Things Involving Lizards and Rabies and Robots and A WORLD WITHOUT BACON!

Shenanigans! Someone call my attorney.

For serious though, when Just Jennifer, or as I like to call her: Just Plain Awesome, asked me if I wanted to guest post I was all, “sure thing!” And then I went and sat in the corner and started eating my hair cuz OMG is there any greater pressure than writing for someone else’s blog?

No. No there is not.

Just Jennifer was very supportive and encouraging. “You’re a great writer,” she said. “Just be yourself. Pretend you’re writing for your own blog. Don’t worry, I’m not expecting a Pulitzer.”

Well, Just Jennifer, you may not be expecting a Pulitzer, but I am. In fact, I’m getting kinda pissed. I’ve been blogging for over a year and I still don’t have a Pulitzer.

Who’s in charge of giving these things out anyway? Because honestly, I am long overdue for one. I mean hello, are you people reading this stuff? Pretty freaking awesome, yes?

I don’t even know what the requirements for receiving a Pulitzer are, but clearly, I am worthy.

GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER, PULITZER PEOPLE!

Okay, now that we’ve gotten that out of the way, let’s get to the point of today’s blog.

There’s a point?

Well of course there is.

Maybe.

Probably not.

I am a pretty intelligent person, as evidenced by the 300+ words of mindless drivel above. I graduated with honors; I (usually) refrain from sticking metal objects in light sockets; I take the cap off sharpies before using them; and I only use calculators for the really hard math like adding single digit numbers

You’d think a person with such a high level of smarts would be all, “Fashion? Psht. Easy piece of does this cheesecake make my thighs look fat?”

But nothing makes me scratch my head and say, “Huh? I don’t get it,” more than getting dressed every day.

My fashion vocabulary consists of pants, shirts, shorts, dresses and skirts.

Camisole? Cami what?

Cardigan. Come again?

Capris? The city in Italy?

When I was in high school, mom-jeans weren’t just were for moms. They were also for teens with no fashion sense. And by teens with no fashion sense, I mean me.

To my sixth grade graduation, I wore a Pepto Bismol pink junior bridesmaid dress with a giant-ass bow. And by giant-ass bow, I mean there was a giant bow right above my ass. I might as well have worn a sign that said, “please point and laugh and shove me in a locker.”

You only have to learn me once, though. To my high school awards ceremony I wore a tight black I-can-only-shuffle-my-feet-or-I’ll-bust-a-seam skirt with an electric blue my-boobs-might-just-explode-outta-this shirt. Because when in fashion-doubt, dress like a whore.

The older I get, the more confused I become. A typical shopping trip goes like this:

Look at item of clothing on hanger.

Get confused.

Is it a shirt?

A dress?

A skirt?

Decide to take it to the fitting room. I’m sure I’ll figure it out once I put it on.

Yeah, no. But I do manage to pull seven different muscles in my back as I try to wrangle the not-shirt over my head.

My befuddlement isn’t entirely my fault, though. Have you seen the clothes they make these days? A few weeks ago I was shopping and grabbed the most adorable shirt off of the hanger. And then I looked at the back.

The hell?

Is that ruching? As in, a place for your boobs to go? But, but, this is the back. Look, there’s the tag. Maybe this one’s defective. I’ll try another one.

They’re all like that!

Am I supposed to have boobs on my back now? Is this the new style? WHY DON’T I EVER GET THESE MEMOS?! WHHYYYYYY!!!!!

I put it back on the hanger, grabbed a pair of pants and headed to the dressing room. It took me fifteen minutes to realize the pants were a scarf. Or maybe a blazer. Or some other article of clothing I don’t even know the name of.

Who knows? And honestly, who cares?

I may never win a fashion contest, but as I mentioned before, I am smart. And being smart trumps being fashionable any day. Which do you think is more impressive to your employer: dressing for success or naming all 57 states in under a minute?

But there are only 50 states.

Exactly.

Well, there you have it. My guest post about, um, clothes and smartness and stuff. I’d like to take a moment and speak for Just Jennifer and say, “Wow. Incredible post. Truly it was. And your writing? Superb. Beyond compare. Life, nay, world changing. I expect your Pulitzer to arrive any day now.” Aww, thanks Just Jennifer. That is so sweet. It’s no wonder I call you Just Plain Awesome.

* * * * *

See what I mean? You totally LOL'd, right?  Because I did - a lot!  And I can relate to the Goddess' fashion woes.  How 'bout you?

I love this girl.  If you do too (and you really should), leave her some comment love below and then go check her out at her place, For the Love of Writing.  Follow her there, and/or hook up with her on Twitter at @SarcasmGoddess.

This was SO FUN!  Thanks, Lady!

I Miss....

As I am preparing to leave with my kids on our trip to Lake Tahoe this morning I want to share some things I've missed in the 7 years since I've been there.

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1. The awe - the Tahoe basin was formed about 2 million years ago.  Two million years. And it's just so gorgeous! When we're driving up Spooner Summit from Reno and a little triangle of the Lake appears, it never fails to take my breath away. In my personal opinion, it is the definition of "God's country". This is Emerald Bay, just one little corner of the Lake.

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2. The size - Lake Tahoe is the largest alpine lake in North America.
It's kind of awesome.

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3. The color of the water - several shades of blue, my favorite color, and some green.

4. The clean mountain air

5. Being up above it all - perched at 6,225 feet above sea level.

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6. Dining next to the Lake at sunset.

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7. Mt. Tallac - I've climbed this mountain. Didn't I say something about God's country?
(look carefully at the mountain)

8. My mom and step-dad's little house where I lived with them and graduated high school

9. My Grama whom I haven't seen in the last 7 years and who hasn't met my son.

10. My best friend JHo, her husband and kids who I haven't seen since AJ's Baptism 5 years ago and whose son I haven't met, even though JHo named me a Godmother to him.


I am SO EXCITED for this trip!  My mother is beyond generous for buying our plane tickets.  I was am very anxious about going without Mark and leaving him home alone.  I worry so much about him having a medical emergency.  But my theme for this year of my life seems to be all about being open, and working on letting go of my fears. "Working on" are the key words there.

Summer Fun Challenged

I've said it before (just the other day, in fact) and I'll say it again - this summer in the Pacific NW has been lame.  As I prepare this post, it is overcast and only 66 degrees.  It's August.  Just try to tell me that's not a disappointment.

So when Shell at Things I Can't Say said her big photo link-up for August would be Summer Fun themed, I thought I might not be able to participate because I only have a few pictures from this summer so far.  Now, if this linky were being held AFTER our trip to Tahoe, this would be a different story.  To add insult to injury, I apparently deleted the only picture I had of the AJ playing on the slip 'n slide!

%#$&;!

Wait! ......Maybe I shared the slip 'n slide pic on Facebook....I did!  Yay for Facebook!

Bowman Bay, near Deception Pass, WA

AJ sitting on my Dad's motorcycle

AJ riding HIS bike - no training wheels!

Cami sitting on her bed in the big covered wagon at camp

So that's about it from me!  Go link up your Summer Fun photos for a chance to win prizes from Ubisoft!

My Dream Party

In just a few days I will be packing up my kids and flying from Seattle to Reno with a final destination of South Lake Tahoe.  My mother and step-father, and several other family members live there.  I lived there for 8 years.  A piece of my heart still does.  I feel that I have two hometowns, where I was conceived (Tahoe) and where I was born (WA).

While we are visiting family, my best friend from high school and her family will be traveling to the Lake from Chico to see us as well.  My mom is going to host a BBQ for us all to get together.

This is almost my dream party.

Seriously, just a simple BBQ surrounded by the people I love?  Absolutely.

I say it's only almost my dream party because there are many others I'd love to have there too.

Essentially the best party I can imagine would have all the people I love in attendance.  My family, Mark's family, my besties in CA, my besties here in WA, Mark's best friends from So Cal and his friends here.  Most of both of our friends here are married to each other.  There would be A LOT of kids!

That's really it.  Nothing fancy is necessary.  I mean, there would have to be food and drinks of course.  But what kind?  I don't care.

And all I would want to do at this party is hang out with everyone taking lots of fun pictures to remember the day. Just eat, drink, smile for the camera and BE TOGETHER.

Thinking about this makes my heart happy.  Because it means we have a lot of great people in our lives who love us like we love them.  But it also makes my heart ache for how spread out we all are, smatterings of loved ones here and there.

I wish everyone I love could agree on one central area to live where we could all have our own homes but be close enough to see each other whenever we wanted.

Until that happens, a girl can dream....

If you had the opportunity to throw a dream party for your closest family and friends,
describe what that would look like.

Reelin' It In

So it's summer, right?  Kind of hard to tell around here with how not hot and only occasionally sunny it's been.

However, according to the calendar it is indeed summer and the kids are out of school.  It is a time for playing, frolicking and generally running amok all day long (if it isn't raining).  I am a mom who firmly believes in kids being kids.  I want them to have a fun and carefree-as-possible childhood.  Yet I also know I must balance this with all the motherly things I am obligated to teach my children during their childhood so that once they turn 18 and magically become adults, they will have some clue how to operate out in the world.

Because I am aiming for both carefree and well-behaved children, this, like every damn last thing in life, requires a balance.  Well, we got off balance since school ended.

I'd say since around the 4th of July we have been allowing way too much consumption of soda and other junk food, as well as inconsistent sleeping arrangements and a general lack of a daily routine.  I mean, there's been some sense of a routine, especially because we spend most of our time at home (due to my inability to drive; I always feel I need to remind people of this), but it's surely been vague.

My son pretty much started losing his mind.  I kid you not.  AJ is 5 1/2.  My daughter had a hard time with the inconsistency of school breaks at his age, so I should have known better.  Camryn is 11 now and doing just fine with summer.  But AJ?  Not so much.

He has been having ugly temper tantrums where he will yell and scream and stomp, slam, hit and throw things.  And he will do it for a really long time before he relents because he is a stubborn and prideful male.  Partly his inherent personality, partly his age and that autonomy crap he's got going on, and partly a lack of parenting.

Wait.  What?  Did I just admit to lazy parenting?

Ouch.  That stings.

Hi.  My name is Jennifer, my husband's name is Mark, and we've been slacker parents this summer.

In our defense, I think where we run into problems is with how much older Camryn is than AJ.  We tend to choose our parenting tactics based on her age first, his second.  And because he has a much older sibling, AJ is somewhat older than his chronological age in regards to many things.  But his emotions?  Whole other matter.

All of this came to a head on Sunday when I swear AJ woke up having a tantrum.  He cried.  I cried.  Camryn tip-toed around.  Mark came home from work and I said the dreaded words, "We need to talk."

So we talked, agreed things needed to change and came up with a plan.  I typed up a list of rules and consequences.  We called the kids in and we basically had a "family meeting".  After reading each rule we discussed the particulars.  You know how literal kids are.  Camryn took dictation, writing everything down in her little notebook.  AJ wanted examples.  But he was such a cute little dude about it, sitting just like his dad, nodding and saying "yeah".  THIS is the boy I know and love!

I thought I would share our list for your consideration:

MOM & DAD’S RULES FOR THE KIDS

TV and video games will be OFF between Noon and 6:00 PM
(unless it’s raining).  *We need some leeway here due to where we live. That, and I'm not doing crafts with them all afternoon!  I'm just not THAT mom.

Soda and other junk food only on weekends IF we’ve had a good week.

You will sleep in your own beds.  *They had been sleeping together a lot.

You will wear helmets when riding your bikes or the motor scooter - or you won’t ride them.  *I wasn't super worried about this until recently. My friend Jessica was appalled that I didn't make my kids wear helmets and my mom gave me a guilt trip. Of course, they're right. But I never wore a helmet and I honestly felt like a hypocrite.

You will not have a tantrum, yell, scream, hit or throw things.

Watch your attitude and be respectful.

Be Polite - say please and thank you and excuse me.

Do Not Lie.  *I cannot stand lying liars who lie! Makes me clench my teeth and make my hands into fists and my kids will not be liars!

You may not fight with each other - no yelling and screaming or hitting and kicking.  *I know siblings fight, but they don't have to go to the extreme.

Listen and do what you are told.

No eating or drinking in the loft.  *AJ constantly asks. He's a slob.

Clean up after yourselves.

These rules are subject to change at any time.

CONSEQUENCES

Added chores

Loss of a privilege

Loss of a favorite toy or activity

Loss of weekend treats

Grounding to your room

Writing name or sentences repeating

Standing facing a corner

I printed two copies and put one on the fridge and one upstairs between their rooms.

There have been a couple minor hiccups, but mostly so far so good.  AJ still gets frustrated, but hasn't had any tantrums.  They both messed up Sunday night at bedtime (Cami was rude and AJ hit her), so they had to clean their rooms and the loft yesterday.  But I'm really hopeful that we've turned a corner and gotten back on track.

Has this kind of thing ever happened to you?  Have you ever had to admit you screwed up as a parent?  Please tell me I'm not the only one!

PS: Linking this up as my post of the week with Bruna for Let's BEE Friends!

It's All About the Yum!

Nothing would be more tiresome than eating and drinking

if God had not made them a pleasure as well as a necessity.

~Voltaire

I love food.  Unfortunately I spend a lot of time fighting the urge to eat, or to eat too much.  I recently had a little tirade where I lamented the fact that all the best foods are bad for you.  It's just so unfair!

But, we do need to eat, now don't we?  Below are 10 foods I wouldn't want to live without.  In fact, I could probably live on only these 10 foods if I had to.

1. Caramel - goes well with ice cream, candy bars, apples and in coffee!

2. Cheeseburgers - because you can do so many things with them and eat with your hands.

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3. Salad - I love me a big salad with things like chicken, shrimp or crab, tomato, avocado, nuts, carrots, croutons and honey mustard dressing. Could eat one every day.

4. Pasta - just about one of the most versatile foods.

5. Potatoes - baked, fried, mashed, scalloped, tots, sweet...

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6. Burritos - Or almost anything on a Mexican restaurant menu.

7. Ice Cream - I have a sweet tooth and enjoy most any dessert, but I have to say ice cream is hands down my favorite. Even more than pie, and I really love pie. My perfect ice cream would be vanilla with pecans/pralines and caramel and fudge ripples. I've found a few that come close, but none with just THOSE specific ingredients.

8. Sweet sauces - BBQ, teriyaki, fruit-based

9. Cheese - what was that advertising slogan the cheese industry was using awhile back? Something about cheese making everything better. It's totally true!

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Isn't this picture awesome?
10. Coffee and Wine - OK, these are beverages, not food. So sue me. I love them both equally. Coffee is so warm and soothing and I make it yummy with my flavored creamers (and it has caffeine). Wine is just....so good, my reward at the end of the day, relaxing...
AND, has healthful properties I might add!

Nom, nom, nom.....

Pet Love

Sir Julius the Orange from the Land of Purr
Captain of the Army of Snuggles
Speaker of the House of Meww

I've posted a couple of pictures of my big fat cat recently, but this picture was taken the other day by my friend Carin who was desperately trying to get a pic of him that would illustrate his size.  This one didn't accomplish that, obviously.  He actually looks quite normal here.

But look how freaking cute he is!

He looks like he's all, "Hi. What? Oh yes, that's right, take your little picture of me if you will.  I will allow it."

Which is so not really his personality.  He is a loud mouth attention hog who enjoys perching himself atop one of my shoulders.

Meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow!

Did I mention how fat he is?

It's kind of insane that he wants to lie on my shoulder considering his girth.

I love this cat.  He was my Christmas present last December.  I first introduced him here.

i adopted him at a point in my life when, as my friend Jessica put it, I really needed a WIN.

Finding great cat to adopt = WINNING!

I can't believe I went so long without a cat.  For as much as I dislike scooping his box and that I brought another demanding loud mouth into my life, he is lovey and sweet and cozy and he makes me happy.

Do you have a pet you love and who loves you?

My Babies Aren't Babies Anymore

Of course I knew this day would come. But knowing something is coming doesn’t necessarily make it any easier.

My kids growing up is in no way as hard as, say, a death, but there is a sense of loss involved. It is a change, and every change needs to be processed.

My daughter was a slow talker, but oh how I loved the way she would pronounce things. Flower was “fwow-wow” and hot dog was “ga-gog”. I never want to forget things like that!

My son is was a thumb-sucker and hair player-with-er. It has been really special to have my little boy sit in my lap sucking his thumb and playing with my hair, so happy and content. But he is earnestly trying to kick this habit because he’s a big kid now. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t missing it just a little.

My beautiful daughter Camryn is now 11 years old and heading into middle school in a month. She is a full-on Tween, at the stage of childhood where she is a goofy little girl one moment and then a young lady the next. She has ADD so she is slightly less mature than most of her peers, but she is still well on her way. She just became a Girl Scout Cadette and is currently attending her 2^nd year at horse camp. She got her love of horses from my mother. Apparently it skips a generation!

I have a confession. I find myself staring at Cami’s body quite a bit, waiting for any sign of puberty. I want to be prepared the moment she needs a real bra (she sometimes wears little training bras) and hope to God I have a good reaction when she starts her period! I don’t want to be overly excited or giddy which might be embarrassing. Nor do I want to let out a heavy sigh because I know just how much fun periods are.

My adorable son AJ is 5 ½ and starting Kindergarten in September. He attended a year and a half of preschool, complete with riding the bus, so I’m not real weepy about him starting K (although I do know he will begin reading this year and that‘s a big deal). No, it’s more the other things he’s doing now that get me. That he’s already started losing his baby teeth, that he learned how to ride a 2-wheeler in about 5 minutes and suddenly he can reach the kitchen faucet. Oh, don’t let me forget that he’s now spent a couple nights away from us this summer!

Seriously, just how many milestones, regardless of how small, need to happen to a mommy all at once?

Every time I turn around lately my kids get or do something new. They simply aren’t little anymore and that’s crazy. And it’s not only about accepting where my kids are at now, but also what that means in relation to ME as their mom. I have now been a mother for 11 years. I’ve got some real experience under my belt. I find I’m able to share my “motherly wisdom” with others from time to time.

Actually, that last part is funny. On one had I feel like I have some wisdom, but on the other hand one of the things I’m wise to is that I don’t have all the answers. I thought I did before I ever had children. But now, nope.

What I know right now is my children, my beautiful babies, are becoming actual young PEOPLE. Time is marching on….and on and on. And in the immortal words of Steven Tyler, I don’t wanna miss a thing.