TGIF: Just July

Hello lovely people who read my blog! It's....

This is the 45th TGIF and I have to admit, I'm getting a little burned out on it.

Not burned out on HAPPINESS, of course. Never that!

Just the weekly commitment of writing a post or having a guest and hosting a link-up. A link up that's not even a huge hit.

And that's OK. I understand that Fri-Sun seem to be pretty iffy blogging days for most. I don't take it personally.

Unless I should. Should I? Do people not like me enough to link up with me? Is there something wrong with my blog? Does it have cooties?

Pfft. Whatever. People just aren't as happy as I am. Yeah, I bet that's it! Ssh ssh, there there, blog, my precious, don't listen to those meanies....

Moving on!

So, I have one more guest lined up for next week and I haven't asked anyone for August yet, so I think it's a good time to stop keeping up with this little meme.

In the meantime....July is usually a pretty good month around here, and this one is no exception.

We had the 4th of July:

Camryn's birthday:

Our anniversary:

Also....

An outing with Grampa

This bowl of watermelon makes me happy!

And yesterday? I decided there was no good reason why I shouldn't be able to mow the lawn if I feel the need (and if Mark isn't up to it). I turned to twitter for help with starting the lawnmower. One of the people helping was my BFF @MomRocksMeals who, after the deed was done, offered, "You came, you mowed, you kicked some grass!"

Hahahaha! I am pretty proud of myself. Both Mark and my dad said I did a good job. I'm still afraid to grill, though.

Now it's your turn to spread the HAPPY!

Write. Button. Link.

PS: If you're interested in helping to feed the hungry, especially kids during the summer, please check out my Fruit for All Project Giveaway. I'll be drawing the winner of 400 meals donated to their local food bank tomorrow morning!

Utter Gorgeousness

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My mom commented on this photo one of her Facebook friends shared.
My jaw dropped when I saw it.
Breathtaking!
I hope it's OK that I didn't take this picture myself.
I just thought it was so beautiful and wanted to share!

Oh, the Guilt!

A certain little pink birdy got to choose the topic for Monday Listicles this week and she chose 10 guilty pleasures.

I hate guilt.  Guilt sucks.  Mom guilt.  Survivor's guilt.  Religious Guilt.  Childhood Omnipotent Guilt.

And why, may I ask, is it necessary to feel guilty about things that make us happy?

Pfft.  Whatever.

1.  So there are my favorite food items, such as coffee, caramel and wine, which I already named in another Listicle.  It just so happens that that post is one of my most popular simply because it includes burritos!

2.  Then there are my favorite TV shows, which I just recently told you all about.  I think my most favorite is Grey's Anatomy.

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3.  I suppose I should probably count Blogging as a guilty pleasure, because it's not something I have to do, it's something I want to do and love to do.  I also suppose social media in general is a guilty pleasure.  Again, what-ever.

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4.  Having a huge stash of yarn!

This is an old picture. I have more.

5.  Caramel Apple Spices and Mochas from Starbucks.  Peppermint mochas in December.

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6.  Coloring my hair probably falls under this heading.

7.  Cinnabon Caramel Pecanbon, which I hardly ever get.

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8.  Just because they're so expensive, pecans, walnuts and cashews.

9.  I love going out to eat!  Not only do you not have to do the cooking or cleaning, but it also tastes great.

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10.  Being a stay-at-home mom.  Yeah, I feel guilty about this sometimes.  And yes, it is a pleasure.  I have the utmost respect for working mothers, whether they have to work or just want to.  All mothers have a lot on their plates, but moms who also hold down paying jobs?  Lots more.  I feel blessed to be my kids' primary caregiver (yes, even when they're driving me nuts; it's very confusing) and to never miss a thing.  Being my kids' full-time mom is a gift I guess I owe to my bad eyes.  Ironic, hu?

My beautiful babies.

OK, so there's a list of guilty pleasures for you.  BUT, I think we should all try to feel a lot LESS guilt over the things that bring us pleasure.  Instead of guilt, feel humility and gratitude.  Give thanks, share and enjoy.    I challenge myself, and you, to do so!

"Americans know entertainment, but they don't know pleasure."

~ Luca Spaghetti, Eat Pray Love by Elizabeth Gilbert

Back in the Day

Being a kid today is so much different than it was when I was a kid!

I was born in 1974.  I grew up in the 80s, graduating high school in 1992.

Oh the 80's!  But that's an entirely other subject....

What I'm talking about today are things I wish my kids could do nowadays that I did when I was a kid.

I'd like to say that I wish they didn't have to sit in car seats or wear bike helmets, because I manged to survive without them, but honestly, those things keep kids safe and that's a good thing.

However....

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1. I drank whole milk.  Today, pediatricians tell us to stop that by the time our kids are 2, to switch to 2% or even 1% or - gag - fat free.  I think "fat free milk" is an oxymoron.  Nevermind the fact that I no longer like the taste of milk.  That's not the point.  I'm talking about my kids!

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2.  I climbed trees.  I can't for the life of me find a decent climbing tree anywhere!  My cousins had a great one right in their backyard and we climbed it every chance we got.

3.  We had lots of family get-togethers.  It seems like having parties with kids now can only be for a kid's birthday party.  We don't get together, just families, and have fun together much.  The adults in my life felt fine with having their fun right along side us kids having our fun.  Seems like everyone wants more separation nowadays.

4.  I could run around town.  Even though there really isn't any more danger to kids these days than there was years ago, we are now afraid to let our kids out of our sight.  I guess this is because of the media?  I don't know, but we are so worried they will be kidnapped or worse.

5.  I could stay out until the street lights came on.  My parents knew about where I'd be, but not always specifically.  I had more freedom than my kids do.

6.  I could go to the bus stop by myself even in Kindergarten.  I have to be at the bus stop with AJ when he gets on in the morning, and the driver won't let him off after school if I'm not standing right there.

7.  I ate Twinkies.  I don't think I've ever given one of my children a Twinkie.  I wasn't even sure if they still existed until I found this picture!

8.  I was a latch-key kid.  I had my own house key and was at home alone after school all the time.  Even as early as age 7.  No parent does that now.  But I was fine.  No boogieman ever got me and I never burned the house down.

9.  I hardly ever needed help with my homework.  Why do my kids always need help?  Well actually, just Camryn since AJ hasn't had any homework yet.  Is it just that she's got ADD?  Is it actually harder?  I think some things are harder, but some stuff isn't being taught anymore at all.

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10.  MTV was brand new and pretty much only videos.  I'm not an old fuddy-duddy who doesn't like new music.  On the contrary, I like a lot of what comes out.  But I won't watch MTV anymore because it's hardly about music.  And I don't really want my kids watching it because they're just going to see a whole bunch of crap.

What would you add to the list?

The Mom (Woman) Pledge

The Mom Pledge

I am proud to be a mom. I will conduct myself with integrity in all my online activities. I can lead by example.

I pledge to treat my fellow moms with respect. I will acknowledge that there is no one, "right" way to be a good Mom. Each woman makes the choices best for her family.

I believe a healthy dialogue on important issues is a good thing. I will welcome differing opinions when offered in a respectful, non-judgmental manner. And will treat those who do so in kind.

I stand up against cyber bullying. My online space reflects who I am and what I believe in. I will not tolerate comments that are rude, condescending or disrespectful.

I refuse to give those who attack a platform. I will remove their remarks with no mention or response. I can take control.

I want to see moms work together to build one another up, not tear each other down. Words can be used as weapons. I will not engage in that behavior.

I affirm that we are a community. As a member, I will strive to foster goodwill among moms. Together, we can make a difference.

* * * * *

"There seems to be no end to the topics that can generate controversy. A recent poll of Mom bloggers revealed 76% had experienced or witnessed cyber bullying between moms on online."

You know, I think this is a great idea, a great pledge to take, a great word to spread.

But it shouldn't even be an issue!

Cyber bullying of moms?

Really, people?

Shame on anyone who picks on a mother.  Extra shame on a mom who picks on a fellow mom.

In my 11 years as a mom I have learned that each and every one of us is doing the best we can with what we've got.  We ALL love our kids.  We ALL want the best for them.

There is no argument about that.

Anything else we could argue about, is all personal choice and opinion.  And you can't tell people how to feel, what to value, what you think they should be doing.  Even if someone asks your advice, still the only thing you can offer is your personal opinion.  The other person doesn't have to agree.

Is that annoying?  I know, right?  But....

We should be kind, caring and compassionate enough to have healthy debates that don't denegrate one another.

I know it's frustrating when you don't agree with something someone's doing.  I get frustrated all the bloody time (hence Fantasy Eff Off Fridays)!  Venting is healthy. Attacking is not.  We are ultimately only responsible for our own actions, our own stuff.

And we are responsible for what we put out there.

"Life is like a boomerang; what you give, you get back."

If we want support, we need to give it.  If we want understanding, we need to give it.

Moms really need these things.

Women in general need these things.

Why do you think there are so many women/mom bloggers?

We should support and try to understand one another EVERY DAY.

No jealousy, spite, conceit or negativity.

I hope, here in my personal Internet space, that I am putting out positive energy more than I'm not.  I hope that my posts make people smile. When I do write about sad or difficult things, my hope is that I will be given support and understanding.  I also hope I am succeeding in giving these things to others.

The last thing any of us needs to do is tear another woman down.  We do enough of that to ourselves.

"There is a special place in hell for women who do not help other women."

~Madeleine K. Albright

We say we want strong female relationships, yet we so often do things to undermine them.  Our busy lives, obligations, assumptions and insecurities all get in the way.  I'm guilty of it.  Perhaps you are too.  We can always try harder.  Just be real, honest, kind and loving, and hopefully the rest will take care of itself.

So here's to you, my fellow moms, fellow women!

Places I Love to Be

Monday Listicles with Stasha of The Good Life is challenging and fun.  This week, Saretta at Amid the Olive Trees (she's an American living in Italy - so fancy!) has chosen the topic of "10 Places You Love".

I took this to mean any sort of place - geographical, just a spot or even a state of being....

Last Thanksgiving

1. Sitting at my kitchen table having dinner with my family - we need a bigger table, but I always feel so gratified when we're sitting around it eating and talking together.

2. Starbucks - does this need any explanation?  Between Caramel Apple Spices, Peppermint Mochas and just plain ole regular coffee drinks...

3. The back of Mark’s neck - scratch it, kiss it, just look at it :-)

This is actually the arm of my couch with my knitting sitting on it.
I'm ashamed that I don't have a pic that includes a glass of wine.

4. My end of the couch with a glass of wine and my knitting.

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5. The entire West Coast of the US - everyone I love lives somewhere in Washington, Oregon and California.  I live in Washington and lived in California for 17 years.

6. My computer - honestly, it contains very important parts of my life.  Simple as that.  It's how I keep in touch with several people, manage household stuff, get news and other information, it's how I do this blog and get to be a part of something bigger than myself even though I'm just at home.  it's kind of amazing, really.

7. Anywhere there’s a pretty sunset - I think sunsets are pretty much one of the best things in nature!

8. The movie theater - I love going to see a movie in the theater. I love the feeling of being closed off from the rest of the world for a couple of hours and immersing myself in a story.

Please excuse the little orange Xs. Photobucket's fault!

9. My house - It's not that my house is special.  It's just that it's OURS.  Took us a LONG time to be able to buy a house and I kind of love it.

10. With my friends - "There's not much that can't be cured by a good GNO!"  They have been few and far between lately, but when we're at our best, being with my friends lifts me up, makes me feel loved, makes me laugh and feel connected.

Silent Sunday

"Last Friday Night": A Songversation

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 As a mother of a newly minted tween daughter about to enter middle school, this song makes me want to scream.

And that cover above?

Really?

I'm sure you're not trying to sell yourself as a role model, but c'mon Katy Perry, young girls are listening to your music!

"Last Friday Night (T.G.I.F.)"

There's a stranger in my bed,
There's a pounding in my head
Glitter all over the room
Pink flamingos in the pool
I smell like a minibar
DJ's passed out in the yard
Barbie's on the barbeque
Is this a hickie or a bruise?

Pictures of last night
Ended up online
I'm screwed
Oh well
It's a blacked out blur
But I'm pretty sure it ruled
Damn

Last Friday night
Yeah we danced on tabletops
And we took too many shots
Think we kissed but I forgot

Last Friday night
Yeah we maxed our credit cards
And got kicked out of the bar
So we hit the boulevard

Last Friday night
We went streaking in the park
Skinny dipping in the dark
Then had a ménage à trois
Last Friday night
Yeah I think we broke the law
Always say we're gonna stop
Whoa-oh-oah

This Friday night
Do it all again
This Friday night
Do it all again

Trying to connect the dots
Don't know what to tell my boss
Think the city towed my car
Chandelier is on the floor
Ripped my favorite party dress
Warrant's out for my arrest
Think I need a ginger ale
That was such an epic fail

Pictures of last night
Ended up online
I'm screwed
Oh well
It's a blacked out blur
But I'm pretty sure it ruled
Damn

Last Friday night
Yeah we danced on table tops
And we took too many shots
Think we kissed but I forgot

Last Friday night
Yeah we maxed our credit cards
And got kicked out of the bar
So we hit the boulevards

Last Friday night
We went streaking in the park
Skinny dipping int he dark
Then had a ménage à trois

Last Friday night
Yeah I think we broke the law
Always say we're gonna stop
Oh whoa oh

This Friday night
Do it all again
Do it all again
This Friday night
Do it all again
Do it all again
This Friday night

T.G.I.F.
T.G.I.F.
T.G.I.F.
T.G.I.F.
T.G.I.F.
T.G.I.F.

Last Friday night
Yeah we danced on table tops
And we took too many shots
Think we kissed but I forgot

Last Friday night
Yeah we maxed our credit cards
And got kicked out of the bar
So we hit the boulevard

Last Friday night
We went streaking in the park
Skinny dipping in the dark
Then had a ménage à trois

Last Friday night
Yeah I think we broke the law
Always say we're gonna stop
Oh-whoa-oh
This Friday night
Do it all again

 We have satellite TV so I listen to SiriusXM's The Pulse a lot, and this song is played quite regularly.  Whenever it comes on I groan, roll my eyes and turn it down.  If Camryn is in the room, I'm sure to explain, "I hate this song."

The first time I said this she asked me why.  I replied that I think what she's singing about is stupid and really inappropriate for kids.

Thankfully, my dear daughter is still young and innocent enough (whose ADD lets things fly right over her head quite a bit) to take my word for it.

She simply nodded and said, "Yeah."

If she inquired further I might like to say that many young people think the kind of partying described in that song is great fun and can't get enough.  But I guarantee most people who have or do, have some regrets.  I would probably go on to say that there are plenty of ways to have fun - being young and dumb - without being utterly irresponsible.

I might also venture to add that while I'm all for living it up, having fun, sewing your wild oats and all that jazz, it is certainly not something any 11 year old girl needs to be thinking about.  That I know she's about to be thrust into a more grown-up environment and she's going to be exposed to a lot more as each year passes, but it's my job as her mother to protect her.

Not shelter.  But yes, protect.  At least some.

I want Camryn to know that I know where she's at because I've been there too.  Truly.  I remember my awkward tween years, and I definitely remember my teens.

If she wanted to know more about why I hate this song, I would tell her these things just aren't necessary.  That I get angry at singers who don't think it's any big deal.  Kids really are impressionable.

I would also tell Cami that I know it's also my responsibility to shield her from things I don't want her exposed to.  I know that if I don't approve of it it's my prerogative to not let her see or hear about it.

But we all know there's only so much we can do as parents when popular culture is extremely pervasive.

I love pop culture!  I love music, TV and movies.  I think I have a great sense of humor, am not easily offended by taboo subjects and contrary to what I'm saying here, I am not a prude.  I am an adult who knows how to process and filter the barrage of influences coming at me.  I am the mother of a beautiful girl too.

That last part?  Is a major perspective changer, and I guess I just don't get why a talented young woman wants to come off as such a stupid brat, and probably send a way wrong message to girls.

Songversation: Take a current song that teens and tweens are listening to, share the lyrics,
and offer a conversation that you might have with your child about the song. (inspired by Ooph)

 

7 Years is Too Long

I am home from Lake Tahoe and can’t stop thinking about all the great parts of our trip and just have to pour my heart out about them!

First there’s the not so little fact that this trip would not have been possible without the generosity of my mother and step-father who flew the kids and I down, provided room and board and threw a little party in our honor. I know they’re getting something out of it too, but still. I mean, they don’t do things half-assed. I just kept saying "thank you" and "thanks" to everything and I hope they know how grateful I am. Here, I’ll say it again: Mom and Doug, I love that you did this for us. Thank you so much!

Then there is my BFF and her hubby. J.Ho and Joe live in Chico, CA, a mere 3 ½ hours from Tahoe, so they seized the opportunity to see us and came up for the weekend. There’s never been anything half-assed about them either. They rented a cabin, hung out with my kids and had the 3 of us over for dinner, a sleepover and breakfast. Not to mention some time at the beach before they had to leave on Sunday. Their generosity and attention to detail awed me. J.Ho, I love you and your family very much and I thank you for all you did in order to see us!

The attention to detail part?

My J.Ho brought some flipflop wine with her!

Also?

My step-dad totally went out of his way to take my and J.Ho’s kids on a fire station tour (he’s a retired firefighter).

I am so very touched by all of this, and more. Seeing members of my mom’s family was LONG overdue. I loved getting to hang out with my Grama, aunt and cousin. I only wish I could’ve seen everyone.

I felt so proud watching Cami riding my mom’s horse all by herself. Not to mention how much AJ also liked riding the horses. My mom loves her horses more than just as much as she loves her family, so I know it makes her happy to be able to share something that means so much to her with her grandkids (because the horse thing seems to have skipped a generation). And I love watching my step-dad with my kids because he is someone who never had any kids of his own, yet he is really great with them.

Something that might seem inconsequential to most, but isn’t to me, is having a glass of wine with my mom while we watch All My Children together. Actually pretty neat that we squeezed that particular bonding time in considering the show is ending next month. My mom and I are very different, but we’ve both loved that show for years!

And then I felt so refreshed satisfied grounded by being at near IN Lake Tahoe. Now that I’m home, it feels like it was sort of a reboot. It was kind of perfect to go there right before we get ready to head into a new school year and all that entails.

There are also a couple of “side effects”, if you will, from the trip.

While I had a great time, I really did miss Mark. I missed sharing it with him and having fun with him. He absolutely deserves a vacation too (although he can never take a vacation from dialysis). I fully felt like it was just me and my kids on our own and it honestly made me think, as I was floating in a raft on the Lake, “Is this what it will feel like when Mark’s gone?” And then, since he’s my very best friend, the one person I can say just about anything to, “What will I do without him?”

(No, he’s not at death’s door, but he sometimes likes to practice which makes me think about these things.)

On a brighter note, I have come home with a desire to be a bit more outdoorsy. We spent more time outside than we did in and it reminded me of how nice walking in the woods or going to the beach, or even just sitting outside on the porch, can be.

I Miss....

As I am preparing to leave with my kids on our trip to Lake Tahoe this morning I want to share some things I've missed in the 7 years since I've been there.

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1. The awe - the Tahoe basin was formed about 2 million years ago.  Two million years. And it's just so gorgeous! When we're driving up Spooner Summit from Reno and a little triangle of the Lake appears, it never fails to take my breath away. In my personal opinion, it is the definition of "God's country". This is Emerald Bay, just one little corner of the Lake.

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2. The size - Lake Tahoe is the largest alpine lake in North America.
It's kind of awesome.

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3. The color of the water - several shades of blue, my favorite color, and some green.

4. The clean mountain air

5. Being up above it all - perched at 6,225 feet above sea level.

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6. Dining next to the Lake at sunset.

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7. Mt. Tallac - I've climbed this mountain. Didn't I say something about God's country?
(look carefully at the mountain)

8. My mom and step-dad's little house where I lived with them and graduated high school

9. My Grama whom I haven't seen in the last 7 years and who hasn't met my son.

10. My best friend JHo, her husband and kids who I haven't seen since AJ's Baptism 5 years ago and whose son I haven't met, even though JHo named me a Godmother to him.


I am SO EXCITED for this trip!  My mother is beyond generous for buying our plane tickets.  I was am very anxious about going without Mark and leaving him home alone.  I worry so much about him having a medical emergency.  But my theme for this year of my life seems to be all about being open, and working on letting go of my fears. "Working on" are the key words there.