Falling in Love Again

A very surprising thing happened to me three months ago; I fell in love again.

I know, right!?

I say "again" because it is comparable to what I had with my late husband. If it wasn't, I wouldn't say again. Because the time, love and commitment that Mark and I shared set the bar high for me.

It's surprising because, although I was actively dating, I wasn't meeting men who were love and relationship material. Also, I sincerely didn't expect to find what many widows call their "chapter two".

But I think I have.

An Open Letter to Those Who Would Judge a Widow

Dear Random Dude on a Dating Site,

You saw my online dating profile and decided to message me. You must have thought I was cute or liked something I wrote in my bio.

Everything started out just fine; your standard introductory small talk. Then you asked how dating has been going for me. I answer and ask the same of you. You ask what I'm looking for. I say that I'm dating and hoping to find someone to have a relationship with.

Then you say, "You must not have loved your husband very much."

What?!?

This Shit is Real

"How are you?"

"I'm good", "I'm fine" or "I'm OK" are the standard answers, whether true or not.

I say them all the time. Partly because there are things I feel like I shouldn't -- or don't want to -- admit.

You know, things that could make me look vulnerable or weak.

Because I pride myself on being a strong person. I've earned it.

But you know what? I still have feelings. And sometimes my feelings get hurt, or weird and hard to understand.