Marriage, Babies and Bliss

Remember I was tagged to do a little "old school blogging" last month? I had missed out on the link-up, but not this time!

LOVE the questions for April so Imma get right to it:

1. How did your husband pop the big question?

In a greeting card on my 23rd birthday. It was very sweet. I unknowingly kept him from proposing in front of a group of our friends and family at a dinner a week prior because I told him I needed him to save his gift so I would have something to open ON my birthday. He gave me the card and I read it. He wrote "P.S. Will you marry me?" at the bottom, and when I looked up, he was holding my ring out.

2. What are the three most surprising things about married life?

That you can come to love someone more over the years than you did on your wedding day.
That you and your spouse will NEVER agree on some things. But it's OK.
It's not at all the romantic fairy tale a girl hopes it will be, but it's wonderful in other ways.

3. How did you find out you were pregnant for the first time?

First clue was my boobs started to hurt. Then, my period was like 6 days late and we were invited to a Halloween party. Figured I'd better take a test before we went so I'd know if I could drink alcohol or not. Test was positive and I positively wasn't drinking at the party!

4. How did you choose your first baby's name?

My MIL had wanted to name my husband Cameron. But her mother pressured her to name him Mark because a family member named Mark had died. Hubs decided he liked Cameron and we agreed it could work for a boy or a girl. Our first was a girl, so we went with Camryn, Cami for short, which we started calling her before she was born. Her middle name of Rose my mom suggested, we thought it was pretty, so we went with it.

5. Describe where you see yourself in 10 years from now.

Almost 50 years old and trying to let myself stop coloring my hair and just let it be grey. What? I don't like these kinds of questions. I kind of think they're dumb. SO MUCH can change and happen to you over the course of 10 years, it's not even funny.

Fine. I HOPE I will still be living in my little house with Mark and our son (Camryn will be 22, so she may be outta here), in good health (both physical and mental), surrounded by friends, a pet or two, a nice little garden and.......? I'm sorry, I tried. I suck at this.

6. Describe how you find bliss, either with words or images.

Hugging.
Sitting in warm sun.
Listening to a great audiobook.
Laughing.
When I hear the words "I love you" from one of my children.
Caramel.

Stand in the Light

Last week I posted about soaking up the good.
A few days later I heard a much-loved song.

This is the chorus:

Uh hu.
Isn't it completely true that you have to go through darkness in order to find the light?
Think about it.
It can apply to so many things.
Struggle.
Heartache.
Ignorance. Conflict.
Once you move through it, you tend to see things differently.
In a whole new light.
And like the lyrics say, it's all a process. Nothing is learned or gained instantly.
We have to work on it.
Because life is a journey.
So is happiness.
Everything.
It can be exhausting.
But there is light.
And we can stand in it.

Alone Time 2012

*I wrote this post last July. Am recycling it today for Mama Kat's Writer's Workshop. It has been edited and updated so as not to completely plagiarize myself. The original is HERE.

::

It seems to be very hard for moms to admit they need time away from their children.  Or time away from their spouse.  And when we do admit it, we tend to carry some guilt over it.

It could be on a daily basis or only every once in awhile.  The guilt is the same.

Working moms feel bad that they aren't the stay-at-home mom types (or simply can't be), and the stay-at-home mom types feel bad for not having a paying job.  Maybe not all the time, but the twingy feelings pop up here and there and we find ourselves questioning our decisions.

And people wonder why the "mommy wars" are such a sore subject!

These are not small issues.  But one that shouldn't be such a difficult issue is the desire for some time to yourself.  Really, who doesn't need that sometimes?  My friend JHo calls it "Zen Jen" time.  I once stole that phrase from her even though she still calls me Jenni.  JHo strategically plans to take a day or two off work, when her husband and kids will still be otherwise occupied, and spends the time doing whatever she wants to.  It's genius!

When I was younger I had no desire to do anything alone.  I couldn't understand people who didn't mind, or even liked, going out to eat by themselves.  Or shopping or to a movie or even just spend time at home alone.  Why would you want to do that?  Don't you feel lonely?  Don't you worry that you look like a loser who doesn't have any friends?

I was clingy.  I met my husband when I was 20 and I drove him nuts with wanting us to be together 24/7 and my feelings got hurt when he wanted to go off and do something without me.  I felt jealous of his best friend, who didn't even live anywhere near us.  Thankfully, while Mark didn't like this particular aspect of my personality, he did like the rest and chose to stick it out until I grew out of it.

Now I know those feelings I had didn't have anything to do with anyone else.  It was all about insecurity, a lack of confidence in myself.  A lack of knowledge of myself.  Over the years I've learned a lot.  I've learned that people get along with each other better when they don't spend too much time together, and when they get to have time to think and absorb and ponder the goings-on in their lives.  And to do the things that make them happy.

Unfortunately, I didn't really learn this until I was married and become a mother.  And  then it's a little more difficult to find the time for yourself.  Good job, me!

Now I know I'm a better mom and wife when I get some time away, out with my friends or just home alone for awhile.  Oh how I love being home alone!  I can either leave it quiet or I can play MY favorite music and sing out loud to it.  I can choose to get some chores done without anyone in my way, or I can just do whatever.  I know, I know, you're probably thinking I shouldn't do chores.  But let me tell you.  I can do them so much faster when everyone is gone, and then it still frees up time to do other things later.  Although, this summer, I'm all about the slacking!

I love my family to the moon and back.  But sometimes....sometimes I just want to be alone.  Or to go out and do something with friends.  It's not selfish, either.  It's good for everyone involved.  My dad tells me that when my grandfather was asked how does he keep his wife happy, a housewife with 5 kids, my grandfather replied that you have to get her out of the house at least once a week.  My grandfather was a smart man.



Do you feel like you get enough alone time?

TGIF: Just July

Hello lovely people who read my blog! It's....

This is the 45th TGIF and I have to admit, I'm getting a little burned out on it.

Not burned out on HAPPINESS, of course. Never that!

Just the weekly commitment of writing a post or having a guest and hosting a link-up. A link up that's not even a huge hit.

And that's OK. I understand that Fri-Sun seem to be pretty iffy blogging days for most. I don't take it personally.

Unless I should. Should I? Do people not like me enough to link up with me? Is there something wrong with my blog? Does it have cooties?

Pfft. Whatever. People just aren't as happy as I am. Yeah, I bet that's it! Ssh ssh, there there, blog, my precious, don't listen to those meanies....

Moving on!

So, I have one more guest lined up for next week and I haven't asked anyone for August yet, so I think it's a good time to stop keeping up with this little meme.

In the meantime....July is usually a pretty good month around here, and this one is no exception.

We had the 4th of July:

Camryn's birthday:

Our anniversary:

Also....

An outing with Grampa

This bowl of watermelon makes me happy!

And yesterday? I decided there was no good reason why I shouldn't be able to mow the lawn if I feel the need (and if Mark isn't up to it). I turned to twitter for help with starting the lawnmower. One of the people helping was my BFF @MomRocksMeals who, after the deed was done, offered, "You came, you mowed, you kicked some grass!"

Hahahaha! I am pretty proud of myself. Both Mark and my dad said I did a good job. I'm still afraid to grill, though.

Now it's your turn to spread the HAPPY!

Write. Button. Link.

PS: If you're interested in helping to feed the hungry, especially kids during the summer, please check out my Fruit for All Project Giveaway. I'll be drawing the winner of 400 meals donated to their local food bank tomorrow morning!

TGIF: Choose Happy & Do Good

Welcome to....

Abraham Lincoln said, "Most folks are about as happy as they make up their minds to be."

"Happiness is a form of courage", said Holbrook Jackson.

A Chinese Proverb goes, "One joy scatters a hundred griefs."

And modern-day philosopher Robert Brault says, "Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things."

These thoughts are what TGIF: Get Your Happy On is all about.

Because life is crazy, hard, confusing, stressful and exhausting. But dammit, it's also beautiful.

I believe very strongly that we must CHOOSE happiness. Not just once, or every once in a while, but DAILY.

Not only happiness, but gratitude too. I bet if you try really hard, even on your worst day, you can find something - just one thing - to be grateful for.


And also charity, which is really only another word for love....
"Great opportunities to help others seldom come, but small ones surround us every day", from Sally Koch.
Some unknown person said, "Nobody can do everything, but everyone can do something."
I know I'm throwing a lot of quotes from other people at you, but I'm trying to make a point. That these three things - Happiness, Gratitude, Charity - are important to me. I think they should be important to all of us. Because on the dark days, which anyone who comes here regularly knows I have, searching for the good is essential.
I feel I do well at finding things to be happy about and grateful for. I still strive to be more charitable. I've got the bleeding heart, bot not always the means.
Guess what? I can use my blog to help others. And that's exactly what I'm going to do when I post about, and host a giveaway for, the Fruit for All Project.

This is a new program that will help get 35 million pieces of fresh fruit into the hands of hungry children all summer. Juicy Juice will provide two donations of 400 meals each:

• One donation of 400 meals to my local food bank; and
• Another donation of 400 meals to a nearby food bank of one of my readers

I feel passionately that NO ONE should ever go hungry. I have made small donations to my local food bank many times over the years.
Not only am I going to do the above, but I am also joining last week's TGIF guest, Jamie at Chosen Chaos, in her Run. Blog. Give. efforts.

Actually, I will WALK. Blog. Give. Be quiet, Jamie said I can! Each blogger chooses how they will give, and I pledge to give a non-perishable food item for ever mile I walk to my local food bank, along with the donation they will receive from Juicy Juice. I started on Tuesday with 1.05 miles which is 2 laps around the perimeter of my neighborhood, and I did the same yesterday.


Squee!
I am so excited about all this, for many reasons (which I won't go into now because this post is long enough!). Stay tuned for the giveaway coming next month!
Now GO! Get Your Happy On and link up below!
(Btw, I would really love for more people to know about TGIF, so if it wouldn't be too much trouble, could you pimp out this post? Shameless, I know. I don't care.)