The View From Here: Listening to my Middle-Schooler

Well I have known this week's View contributor for quite awhile now. I think our paths crossed doing Monday Listicles....

Katie of Your Girls and Boys is a working mom of 3. Her oldest is just a year younger than my daughter, and is who she was inspired to talk about today.

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Listening to my Middle-Schooler

Jen’s The View From Here series is all about perspective, so when I was thinking about what I wanted to share here today, I thought about my many perspectives in life – the different lenses I view life through every single day, and how my perspective has changed over time. The biggest shift for me in recent years has been my perspective on motherhood. It changes as you’re parenting a baby, then a toddler, a little kid, a big kid, a tween – and though I’m not quite there yet – a teenager.

A Letter to Those in Charge of My Daughter's Education

Dear Principal and Counselor at My Daughter's School,

I am writing today to tell you how very disappointed my husband and I were in the meeting we had with you and some of her teachers last month.

Since the meeting, I have been trying to get over how it felt and what we took away from it, but I can't. I keep coming back to it and what a huge waste of time it was. My husband tried to say something during the meeting, but I quieted him because I didn't want to undermine you all in front of our daughter.

But we can't continue to be quiet.

We asked all of you to come together with us to help our daughter because she is struggling at school. You took the opportunity to tell us how to parent. Principal, you pointed your finger at us and said we were wrong. It was condescending and completely unhelpful.

At the risk of sounding defensive, I must say that my husband and I are good parents. We do everything in the world that we can for our children. We have tried and tried and tried to give Camryn all the tools she  needs to succeed at school. I asked for the meeting because I am worried about her ability to succeed there. You all decided that the problems were only hers and ours.

Well I disagree. You are passing the buck. You all are not willing to take any responsibility for failing my daughter. Both literally and figuratively. From the moment Camryn stepped through those doors in 6th grade, you have not been willing to lift one finger to help her.

Except to have a couple of meetings which accomplished nothing. They were just for show, to make it look like you were putting in some kind of effort.

After school homework help? Great. Yes, that's helpful, but Camryn is STILL shy at school. She still isn't comfortable asking for help. She is going (when it's not cancelled for no reason), but this doesn't help her with feeling overwhelmed by being behind and continuing to have more and more piled on her.

I am not saying she isn't at all responsible for her own school work. She is 13 and in 8th grade and of course she has to take some responsibility for these things.

However, she has ADHD and maybe you don't know this, but kids with ADHD mature slower than their peers. Camryn is not like other kids! I feel that you do not get that at all. Her brain works differently. She has a LEARNING DISABILITY. Yet that doesn't even seem to register for you.

All any of you have ever said to us the entire time she's been at your school is that she has to do this and we has her parents need to do that. WE DO all the things you suggest. She TRIES.

What are YOU doing?

You all are the college educated, trained professionals. YOU are supposed to know how to help kids learn and succeed in school. My husband and I are not trained teachers.

I was talking with Camryn last night about some school things. You want to know what she told me? She is having a hard time not feeling like just giving up.

My heart breaks for her over this. She is a good girl who wants to do well. You all tell me this! No teacher has ever had anything but great things to say about having her in their class.

Yet she's just on her own there. She gets no support from you. No one ever pulls her aside and asks if she needs anything, if she understands what's expected of her, if she feels good about things. She doesn't feel like any of you give a damn about her.

Yes, yes, I know she's not the only student. I know she's not the only kid with a learning disability. But, honestly, that's not my problem. You all should have some game plan on how to deal with these things.

There is something else I feel you should know. We have some unique family circumstances that might play a factor in the way Camryn is. Her dad and I are both legally disabled. I have bad eyes and her dad has chronic illness. He is a type 1 diabetic who is on dialysis and has heart problems. He nearly died in March of 2012.

We know these things weigh on Camryn a bit and cause her some anxiety. We got her into counseling over the summer. So she has ADHD and some family stress she is carrying around. We are doing everything we can to help her learn and grow and end up well-adjusted. But we NEED your help too!

Perhaps a 504 plan isn't good enough. Maybe it should be bumped up to an IEP. Counselor, wouldn't that be your department?

The simple fact is, my child is currently failing most of her classes. NO ONE should want that and EVERYONE should want to fix it. Do you want my daughter to fail? Shouldn't you be intervening? Doesn't it reflect poorly on you as educators when students fail?

ISN'T IT YOUR JOB TO TEACH MY CHILD??

Please stop being apathetic about her. Please step up and do your jobs. I'm begging you. What is happening here is not OK. We are angry, and we are done being polite.

Unhappy, but sincere,
Camryn's personal advocate
aka MOM

**I actually sent a version of this to my daughter's principal and guidance counselor (what guidance?), and CC'd the school psychologist. I wasn't kidding when I said I'm done pussy-footing around these issues. I stand here right now, ready and willing to rock the boat. I have read too many other blog posts written by parents of children with much bigger needs than my daughter's, who have found the exceptional educators their children need to succeed, even in public school. I hear in their words the immense relief they feel knowing that their child's teachers actually care on some level. I desperately want to feel that too! And my daughter deserves better.

5. Talk about a problem you tackled this week.

An Interview with a Thirteen Year Old

I did my traditional back-to-school posts on my son's second day of 2nd grade and my daughter's eighth day of 8th grade.

And by "traditional" I mean, two years in a row.

Now, though, I have Camryn's official school portrait!

My sweet baby girl is a teenager now. As she winds down her middle school years I thought I'd start a new tradition (inspired by Katie at Your Girls and Boys) of some "interview" questions to help keep track of how my kids' interests, opinions and perspective change over the coming years.

1. My favorite food is: apple pie

2. The best show on TV is: Once Upon a Time

3. The coolest person on earth is: Taylor Lautner 

4. My favorite class in school is: Social Studies

5. The class I like the least is: Language Arts

6. The thing I do best is: sing

7. If I could go anywhere in the world, I'd go to: Forks,Washington

8. My favorite color is: red

9. When I grow up, I think I might like to be a: nurse

10. My current favorite song is: "Roar" by Katy Perry

11. Three words that describe me are: cool, sister and sweet

12. My favorite season is: summer

13. The snack I like the best is: ice cream or apples

14. My best friend is: Rilaya, and Abby

15. My current favorite book is: Dead Is Not an Option by Marlene Perez

16. If I had one wish, it would be: unlimited wishes

17. My best memory is: going to Great Wolf Lodge

18. My current favorite movie is: Pitch Perfect

19. One food that I really dislike is: red peppers

20. My favorite thing to do is: play Minecraft

I am very surprised by the classes Camryn says she does and doesn't like. I thought for sure Math would be her least favorite (I even doubled checked with her to make sure). I thought Graphic Design would be her favorite by a mile. She says it's her second favorite.

Taylor Lautner and Forks, WA are because of Twilight. *gag

Asking for unlimited wishes is something she has thought a lot about.

She had to list two best friends because one she never gets to see outside of school and the other lives here in our neighborhood, so she hangs out with her a lot.

I think Camryn thinks she might like to be a nurse because of the times her dad has been in the hospital. But she says she wants to work with children. Camryn has ADHD and really struggles to keep up in school, so I've informed her that becoming a nurse requires several years of college. Not sure how much she's thought about that.

Apple pie? That's my girl!


Hopefully this isn't too long of a list to link with Monday Listicles. :-)

The Eighth Day of 8th Grade

This is my daughter's final year of middle school. Next year is HIGH SCHOOL.

OMGImfreakingout!

But wait! THIS school year JUST started.

OK. Phew. Breathing.

Watching my daughter grow up is one of the most amazing things. There is a picture of her in PreK in yesterday's post. It's so hard to reconcile that little girl with the teenager Camryn is today.

Here is my sweet girl on her eighth day of 8th grade:

She's hiding a croissant behind her leg, in her right hand.

At a Loss

My daughter has Attention Deficit Disorder. She doesn't really have the hyperactivity factor, so I leave the H out. Her problems are inattention and impulsiveness. She is forgetful and disorganized.

Camryn struggles a great deal in school. If I'm being honest, in everything that is a responsibility, really.

My biggest concern is school, though. She is currently in 7th grade. Middle school has been a shock to her system. ADD kids tend to mature at a slower rate than their peers, so the things that are expected of every other kid her age are a bit more daunting for Cami. It's like she doesn't quite 'get' things they way she ought to. Or rather, the way she is expected to.

My daughter doesn't fit into a pretty little box. Her brain works differently. She processes differently.

I think she had an actual panic attack during a portion of the state testing last week! She felt dizzy and was having a hard time catching her breath. She was having such a hard time we had to pick her up and bring her home.

Her dad and I have been banging our heads up against the school walls for years now, but most especially since Camryn entered middle school in 6th grade. I thought surely by now, nearly the end of 7th grade, she'd have figured things out, gotten into a groove and would be able manage.

But we still struggle. And it is all of us, not just her. She is struggling to hold it all together, and failing, quite literally. But we as her parents are struggling with how else to help her. What more can we do that we haven't already done?

We are good parents. Mark and I do all the things we should do for our kids. We are very interested in their schooling. We have had teachers thank us profusely for being the kind of parents who attend all the conferences, make sure homework gets done, email the teachers with questions and ask for feedback on our kids. We aren't active in the PTA, but we are attentive to what is going on with our children.

But now? Now I am at a loss as to how to help Camryn do better in school. Her teachers tell me they care, that I can email them with questions anytime, and Cami even has a 504 plan. However, I feel like I hit a wall whenever I try to communicate with her teachers, and her counselor is pretty much a non-entity due to budget cuts.

I don't know what I can reasonably expect of her as an ADD kid. Should I be expecting her to talk to her teachers herself and relay the information to me? It doesn't seem to work at all. Just yesterday I told her to talk to her science teacher about the F she currently has in his class. I asked her about it when she got home. Camryn said she did talk to him, but could not, for the life of her, remember what he said.

What am I supposed to do with that?

Camryn's inattention makes her come off as flighty and unconcerned. I must admit, it often feels to me like she just doesn't care and sometimes that makes me very impatient with her. But I know that can't be the case, because I also know a bright, inquisitive and curious child who has these moments of clarity and perceptiveness.

She isn't dumb. But I sure feel dumb not knowing what to do to help her.

Middle school isn't the be all, end all, but high school kind of is, and I feel like we're running out of time to prepare her for it.

We need some extra help, and I think that it will have to come in the form of a counselor for Camryn. Perhaps we should have had her in behavioral therapy already. I just really thought we had a handle on things because she doesn't necessarily have any behavioral problems per se. We have been lucky on that end of possible ADD issues.

This feeling of helplessness is just the worst.


Linked with Pour Your Heart Out.

Seventh Day of 7th Grade

I did not take a picture of my daughter on her first day of school.

Wait. That's a lie.

I did take a picture of her, but it wasn't her OFFICIAL back-to-school photo.

Today is.

I cannot get her to give me a toothy grin right now
because she recently lost a couple teeth.

Yes, they're edited, but I take all my pictures with my phone.

Getting to Know My Daughter Better

Of course I've known Camryn all of her nearly 12 years, but the past couple of weeks I have gotten to know so much more. There was plenty I already knew, like about her personality and interests. What I didn't know, was that she has been doing some growing.....but it's like it was turned on like a switch.

At the end of the school year all the 6th graders around here put together a big "Who Am I?" project. I've mentioned Cami's twice already, sharing a story and a poem she wrote.

She had been slowly plugging along at it since it was first assigned right after the MSP testing in May. This past weekend we did the final push to get it completed to be turned in yesterday. I was so proud of how hard she worked, pretty much all day, both Saturday and Sunday, without whining. I helped, but ONLY as a nag to keep her organized and as the grammar police (to an extent). When it came to putting her scrapbook together, I gave her creative license, letting her use anything of mine she wanted, only suggesting she change up the layouts so each page didn't look identical.

I happen to think Camryn's book came out fabulous! I really hope her teacher agrees and gives her a big, fat A!

In the process of watching her project unfold I learned that my daughter is thoughtful and perceptive. She does internalize things and feels deeply. She knows what she likes and what she hates (at least for now). And she is creative.

I think this was the perfect grade/age to do this sort of project too. Cami has enough years behind her to have plenty to share and document. Enough has happened that is starting to shape her. Also, now is a great time to clearly identify who she is and what matters to her, as she heads into her teens.

I got pretty invested in seeing this through with Camryn. My dad called me twice to see if I wanted to catch a movie with him, but both times I said no, that I gotta keep helping her. She did need my guidance, but also, I was really enjoying watching it happen. I was very proud.

Cami's photo collage

TGIF: Grampa's Backyard....and a Poem

Welcome to your spot for celebrating the end of the week!

A few weeks ago we went over to my dad's house for the afternoon. It was a very nice, sunny spring day. The kids played frisbee, AJ climbed a tree and I roamed around taking pictures of all the blooms.

The sunny, pretty family time made me happy, so that's what I want to share today. (Especially because things are quite the opposite as I sit here putting this post together.)

Nothing fancy here. Was just using my phone....

And then this....

Last week in my Fine post I told you about my daughter's end-of-the-year school project all about who she is. She's writing several stories and poems for it. Again, I got her permission to share this. Don't know if anyone else will love it like her mom and dad do, but we sure think it's great!

Who Am I?

A daughter, a sister, a friend

Do other people really know who I am?

To my parents I am their favorite little girl

To my teachers I am a sweet, hard-working student

Always special

Sometimes I am annoying to my little brother

And sometimes I am hard working at my chores

I am parts of my mom

Parts of my dad

Parts of my friends

Parts of my community and parts of the world

I am a sixth grader, but mostly a

teenager, and I admit also a child

Pieces of a puzzle that I think might fit together someday

I am awake, alert and ready to meet my world

To become a nurse, to learn everything I need to know

You may not believe it, but sometimes I am very stubborn

I am also a good listener, a good worker, who tries her best

I am a rememberer, and a forgetter

There are times when I feel like cooking with my dad

When I love spending time with my mom

When I feel totally happy and satisfied

Who Am I?

A daughter, a sister, a friend

And most of all Camryn Rose Hall

She's not actually a teenager yet, will turn 12 next month. I find it interesting that she constantly claims to hate her brother, wish she had a sister instead and wouldn't mind a bit if he were gone, yet "sister" is one of her biggest identifiers. Uh hu, can't fool me, Cami!

Alright, bring on the HAPPY! Grab the button and link up.

Fine

Source: Uploaded by user via Jennifer on Pinterest

I have issues.

I'm a mess.

And I don't know why.

Well, I'm not totally stupid. I basically know why. But, I don't completely know why.

For about a week now I've felt so....just....umm....

I've been quiet unless I needed to speak, not smiling much. I feel so....

What?

What am I feeling?

I'm pretty sure it has to do with all the ups and downs in my life. There are so many it's practically dizzying.

I mean, how does one deal with her husband being fine one day, to nearly dying, to (seemingly) fine again? But not. Especially when it's not even the first time.

How?

How does that happen??

And how am I supposed to feel about it?

The other day, we were talking about the possibility of refinancing our house and Mark says, "Lower payments will be good for you down the road."

And then he realized what he was saying, and said, "Or....us."

God.

He says a lot of things like that, and not only to me. He's been trying to work up the gumption to make videos for the kids in which he talks to them about things, giving his fatherly advice. You know, for when he's not here.

The topic of Mark's possible impending departure from this world has been at the forefront of our minds since March 1st.

And the need to get his blood pressure checked out at the ER sends me running to sob in the shower. Every. Little. Thing. Is scary now, and the what-ifs bombard my mind.

Yet he is still very much with us.

He came home from the ER and insisted we go out for the day.

Anytime he steps foot into a hospital, I expect him to be admitted.

It is really hard to juggle this stuff!

Imagine my arms stretched out, the good on one side, the bad on the other, playing tug of war.

I am always focusing on the positive, remembering that he's "not dead yet". Mark is here and we are together, loving each other and our kids, trying to make the most of what we've got. I am an Attitude Ninja!

You know how one can be great in a crisis, but break down after the dust has settled? That's me. So I think that's partly where I'm at. But also, the constant worry of losing Mark right at the surface, all the time.

It's just....hard.

::

My daughter is wrapping up 6th grade with a big "Who Am I?" project. She has to write several poems and stories for it. She gave me permission to share the following:

Prompt: My greatest sadness


The Time When My Dad Was In The Hospital


My dad was in the hospital in the beginning of March. It was very, very devastating. He stayed in the hospital for almost 2 weeks. Almost the whole family came to Marysville. It was so sad for everyone there. But one day my dad woke up crying that he wants my mom, my brother, and me. So my grandpa took us to the hospital to see my dad. I was happy to see my dad was getting a little bit better. But one day he got worse, so bad he wasn't able to talk, or pick up his hands. All he could do was nod or shake his head yes or no. But then he got better after like 2 or 3 days, and was able to talk, but it was like a mumble when he talked. So then one day he was able to sit up and stand up and was fully understandable. And in 3 days he CAME HOME! And I was happy that he was home. But also scared, because I was afraid that it might happen to him again. But it hasn't, so I'm not as worried now.


Linking up with Shell's Pour Your Heart Out and hanging at Yeah Write.

Measurements of Student Progress

We live in Washington state. Our public school state test for grades 3-8 is called the MSP.

They say, "The MSP name conveys the goal of the test: to measure student progress. State testing should never be the sole judge of a student’s academic skills and knowledge. A student’s entire performance should always be considered."

Yet, if a child doesn't pass the MSP, they will be placed in a "Lift" class the following year. For a middle schooler, this means losing out on an elective. This is the case in our district. I do not know if it's the same in others.

If I'm giving educators the benefit of the doubt, it looks like they want to help my child do better in whichever subject they didn't pass.

If I'm being cynical, it looks more like they want my child to freaking pass the MSP already so they can get more funding or ask for raises or whatever kids passing these tests does for them.

I understand that this is public education funded by the government and is free to me (well, besides my property taxes). I promise, I try not to complain about it too much. Like all the days off school there are. Mark complains about that a lot. I get it (mostly). But when they use the results of their standardized test to penalize my child, I get a little angry.

Many kids don't fit into their standardized box. Kids have varying learning styles.

My daughter has ADD.

Last year Camryn failed the MSP by four points and had to spend all this year taking a "Literacy Lift" class. And if she failed again this year, she'll have another similar class added to her schedule in 7th grade, thus locking her out of any sort of an elective.

She really wants to be her current homeroom teacher's TA in 6th period next year.  When she came home and told me this, I felt SO PROUD of her! I was thrilled that she would want to take this kind of initiative. And proud of my (not so) little girl for choosing an elective in which she will be helping new 6th graders (and a teacher).

Camryn may have ADD, but it has no bearing on her intelligence. It may look that way at times, because she can appear flighty, spacey, even air-headed. This is because her brain moves a mile a minute. She has "ooh shiny!" syndrome. But she is not stupid.

ADD makes it difficult to concentrate. Kids with ADD are famous for not doing well on tests. It takes Cami longer to finish the MSP testing than other kids.

I don't yet know how she did this year, but she may never pass one of those tests.

It's only because the test is "standard", yet she is not.

And this means, that she may have to continue to miss out on any elective she might be interested in. The very classes that help keep kids engaged in school, and help them discover what they're good at.

My heart breaks over this because it damages her already fragile self-esteem. I really don't think it's fair.

In all honesty, I think her school wants to push the kids to pass the MSP so they look good. I don't mean the teachers specifically. I'm sure that most of my daughter's teachers care about her learning what she needs to learn, and perhaps loathe those tests as much as I do. I get that teachers are in a tough spot between what their hearts want for the kids and what the administrators are making them do.

If it weren't for this ridiculous rule they've put in place, I probably wouldn't even tell Camryn whether she passed the MSP or not, when I get the letter in September

Because I don't think it has any bearing on who she is as a student.

It's just so very frustrating.

(Before someone tells me this is one reason they homeschool, please don't. I'm not that mom. Not only do I not have the discipline to homeschool, I wouldn't be able to do a good job of giving my kids an enriching homeschool experience because I can't drive them to great extra-curricular learning places.)

Linked to the Yeah Write Hangout and....

Doing My Due Diligence

I have a parenting challenge that is weighing on me quite a bit right now.

A little backstory

My daughter Camryn has Attention Deficit Disorder with an emphasis on being inattentive and impulsive.  This was first brought to our attention (no pun intended) when she was in kindergarten.  Since she's a summer baby and therefor one of the youngest in her class, we thought maybe she just needed a little time to mature more.  So we didn't do anything about her possible ADD until about the middle of first grade.

I don't need to write out ALL the details.  Suffice it to say, she does indeed have ADD and she does take a stimulant daily.  From 6 1/2 to 11 1/2 (where we are now) there have been many ups and downs in regards to behavior, meds and school.  But for the most part, she has been a bright, inquisitive, well-behaved girl who seems to enjoy school and learning.  We have seen her trying her hardest over the years.

Where we're at today

School is what I'm really concerned with right now.  Well, that and just this overall lack of effort on her part.  Because it's not only evident in regards to her schoolwork and grades, but also here at home.

When I first started writing this we were on day 3 of Cami being home sick.  On the first day she was home I logged into the school family access site where we parents can view our children's school records.  This includes grades, assignments, attendance and any disciplinary actions.  Now, this was my first time logging in all year because I didn't know I needed to disable my pop-up blocker for it open the secure window (so I just thought it wasn't working for me).

What I found was very disheartening.  Cami is in 6th grade this year and we are nearing the end of the first semester when they will be filing report cards.  According to the online records, she currently has 3 Ds.

She has always struggled with math and we did experience a hiccup with that earlier in the year.  But that turned out to only be about an assignment she simply didn't turn in.  Total ADD move on her part.  So you live and learn, right?  Ever since then, we have routinely asked her if she's turned in her completed work, to which she always answers yes.

I guess my first clue to the troubles should have been when she called me from school and told me she needed to turn in 2 missing math workbooks.  I asked her if she had them, she said yes, so I said to freaking turn them in!  She replied that they weren't finished.  I told her that doesn't matter.  Some is better than none.

In fact, whether she finishes all her math homework or not doesn't matter, according to the agreement we made with her math teacher and written into her 504 plan.  Her math teacher explained to us that it should only take each student about 30 minutes to do their homework.  Since Cami has ADD, if someone is sitting with her, helping to keep her on task, that's all she will expect of her as well (if she's working on her own, we'll give her an hour).  The teacher said math homework is really just practice, so finishing it all isn't necessarily the point; as long as she's trying and doing most of it, she will get credit.

But here Camryn is still thinking she can't turn it in if it's not complete.  So it shows an F in her record.

Seeing an F in your child's school record is one of the most upsetting things for a parent.  Or at least it is for me.  F means FAIL.  I don't want my child to fail!

OK. So, I talked about all of this with her, explained that something is better than nothing and that if the teacher tells Cami she has to finish it, to have her call me because that's not what is supposed to happen. I also spoke with her about how now that she's in middle school her grades count towards the rest of her school career, and ultimately the rest of her life.

That's a big thing to lay on an 11 year old, but it's the truth.  I told her we expect nothing less than a C and if she brings home Ds or Fs there will be serious consequences.  I reiterated what my mother told me, that school is her job and her grades are her pay.

Camryn listened, nodded, said OK....

But then I'm up in her room a day later sorting through her laundry and such.  Now, keeping her room clean has always been an issue, and seems to be an issue for most ADD kids.  She's sick, so I'm not bothering her much, but when it comes time to put some clean laundry away, I discover that the last time I had her put away clean clothes, she simply threw them all into the bottom drawer of her dresser.  I also discovered that she's shoving hoodies onto a shelf in her closet, rather than hanging them up.

These might seem like small things, but this combined with the school stuff screams of a total lack of effort on her part.  All this time I was under the impression that she always tries her hardest, that it's just difficult for her to stay on task.  And I still think that's true.....but....

I also think she is just kind of floating through her little life right now.  I guess she's lost in her own little world way more than I thought.

I've been wracking my brain with, "what do I do?" and "how do I help her?".

For many parenting dilemmas I believe in natural consequences, but I'm now thinking that might not be the way to go with her, with this.  She's not stupid, but she is...how do I say this delicately....?  Things go in one ear and out the other, or right over her head entirely.  Let me say again, she is not dumb, she's just got ADD and her brain is all over the place.

I think I am going to have to hold her hand and walk her through some things for awhile.  Things that other 11 1/2 year-olds can take care of just fine on their own, Cami still needs help with.

We are going to have to start checking her binder and planner religiously every day, as well as help her organize each assignment so she knows when to turn it in (which should already be written down in her planner, but....).  I will have to start checking the online records at least weekly.

As for her bedroom, I am going to have to help her get it really cleaned up and organized, and then push her into a routine of keeping it that way.

Nag, nag, nag.

So I know what I and we have to do.  The problem is how exactly to execute it.  How to balance it so that I don't go back to doing everything for her.  And how to get her to understand that these things matter and are important.  I think it is so easy for an ADD kid to just not care about certain things because it's so hard to focus on them.

I worry so much about her future if she doesn't learn how to take care of these things now, while she still has mom and dad to help her.  Since learning about ADD, I have felt that my most important job as her mother will be to teach her how to function well -- how to be organized, not lose things, not always be late to places.  If I can teach my ADD daughter these things, I will feel successful as her mother.

Right now, I'm failing at this and I'm really disappointed in myself.  I thought I was doing all the right things.  I do ask questions about school, have been to every conference and 504 meeting.  I help with Cami's homework the best I can, math not being my strongest subject either (there's a lot of Googling).  I encourage her, tell her she can do anything, she's smart and beautiful and funny and I love her so much.  Her teachers have told me they feel the same way about her and that they really appreciate me as a parent, that so many other parents just don't seem to care.

So why is she still struggling?  Obviously some changes need to be made and I have to suck it up and make them. It maybe even require a trip to the doctor to reevaluate her medication needs....

I just want to get this right, and I feel like I'm already running out of time since we are now over halfway through her childhood.