10 Things My Parents Did Right

You know what? My parents don't completely suck. They never really did.

Shocking, I know. But here's the thing, we all think they do suck during every teen year at some point, don't we?

There are simply things kids cannot understand until they themselves are parents too. I'm already telling my kids this. Regularly!

The benefit of hindsight being what it is....

Things I Think My Parents Did Right

1. They tried - I had very young parents. My dad was 20 and my mom was almost 17 when I was born. They got married and became parents. Despite their divorce 5 years later, I know they tried. And I never really had any angst over it.

2. They didn't shelter me - One of my earliest memories is when our dog, Blue, had to be put down. My parents told me and had me say goodbye to him. I vividly remember crying and hugging his neck. The way they handled it, helped me understand. And I don't think anything was ever dumbed-down for me.

3. Cousins - My dad is one of five, so for the first 2/3 of my childhood (until I went to live with my mom) I spent as much time as possible with my cousins. I'm an only child, so I simply adored spending time with them.

4. I wasn't spoiled - Many only children can grow up spoiled rotten. When I was young my parents were working class, so they couldn't spoil me with material things. But I don't believe they would have if they had been able. I had everything I needed, plus one pretty awesome banana seat Schwinn bicycle!

5. Stability - My dad  and step-mom provided a steady, predictable home life where I knew what was expected of me, and I did it. This is not even something I can always do for my own kids due to my husband's health problems. But you can be damn sure that when we're not in crisis mode, my kids' little lives are steady and predictable.

6. Appreciation of the outdoors - I grew up camping, hiking, biking, boating, swimming and even did a little skiing. I hiked Mt. Pilchuck here in Washington when I was 2 or 3! Both my parents made sure I saw the beauty all around me, whether the lushness of the Pacific Northwest or the natural wonder of Yosemite Valley in California. And let's not forget that I got to LIVE in Lake Tahoe! I may not do many of those things anymore, but I still appreciate the beauty around me.

7. Music - My father is an audiophile who loves music, and has a nice singing voice. My uncle was a musician and singer who owned his own recording studio. My cousin is a concert pianist. My mother would turn ordinary conversation into song (with much eye rolling from me). I got to be in the school band, playing a flute that was rented to own. Such a fun memory I have is of my mom and I ROCKING OUT to Bon Jovi in her Jeep, singing at the top of our lungs. All of this rubbed off on me.

8. Knowing what makes you happy and doing it - When my parents were divorcing my mother realized she couldn't live in Washington anymore. But my dad had custody. It sucked that my mom needed to live so far away from me, but even when I was little I somehow understood, and even respected her for doing what she needed to do to build a life on her own.

9. Freedom to be me - I was free to learn whatever interested me. I was free to develop my own spiritual beliefs. When my mom decided to stop eating meat, she didn't force me to do so as well. My parents never tried to make me into some vision they had of who I should be.

10. An abundance of Love - No matter what ever happened in our lives, I never doubted that I was loved. There's not much more I can say about that. Just love. And affection. There were always hugs, kisses and "I love yous" going around!

About My Family Tree

Guess what??

This?  This post that you're reading right here, is number 250!

I love that it's a Listicle.

This week's prompt was chosen by Ms. Mamalog and it's a doozie!  She asked us to come up with 10 tidbits from our family tree.

Hmmm....

I can imagine my family members squirming in their seats.

Mwahahaha!

Lucky me, it just so happens that I got to attend a cousin's wedding this weekend where I saw most of the paternal side of my family and did a little recon.

Mwahahaha!

Here is what my immediate family tree looks like:

To clarify, this is my immediate biological family: My grandparents and my parents and their siblings.

1. My father's mother, Dolores, whom we fondly refer to as "Dode", is actually really into genealogy.  As far as I know, she has tracked our ancestry back centuries.  It seems to mostly lead back to England.  I think Grandma Dode's trove of information is mainly names, places and dates, not so much anecdotal.  So I will only be able to share with you what I know about my family.

2.  My paternal grandparents are Wally and Dode who had 5 children, 4 boys and 1 girl.  Their names are Scott, Mark, Renee, Randy and Clay.  Randy is my father.  My Grandpa Wally and uncle Clay have passed away.

My father and grandmother

3.  My maternal grandparents are Paul and Joyce who had 3 children, 2 girls and 1 boy.  Their names are Dawn, Deanne and Scott.  Deanne is my mother (pronounced Dee-anne).

My grandma Joyce
Update: Dear Jen, the family name on my moms side is Littlejohn - He was given a land grant by the King of England in the new world in the 1600's.  He came from Scotland and was Robin Hood's partner in crime.  Believe me they were beyond fit, the movies make them look ridiculous.  There are quit a few in our country's history too, like Danial Boon or was it Davie Crockett?  My aunt has a book she is going to leave to me.  luv Grams

My mother

4.  I have two uncles named Scott and an uncle named Mark, which is my husband's name.

5.  All these aunts and uncles married and had 2-4 children each, for a grand total of 14 cousins.  One I have never known and one died of SIDS.  They are made up of 7 girls and 7 boys.  This sounds all even-steven like, but growing up, I was surrounded by mostly female cousins.

Grandma Joyce, mother, aunt, me, cousin and my daughter

Grandma, dad, my family, aunts, uncles and cousins on dad's side

6.  Many of us cousins are now married and having children too.  My and my cousins' children number 13 so far.

7a.  It seems that my grandparents, parents, aunts and uncles all got married and had children pretty young by today's standards.  At the wedding I just went to, I found out that one of my grandmothers and most of my aunts were pregnant on their wedding days.  So was my mother, who was only 16.

7b.  I was conceived in Lake Tahoe, born in Washington state where I lived for 12 years, moved to Lake Tahoe where I lived until I was almost 20, and now I live in Washington state again.

My mom holding baby me

8.  The wedding we just went to was for a cousin we didn't know until we were adults.  My uncle Mark didn't know.  Interesting thing is, this cousin's mother named him exactly the same name as my aunt Renee named her son, first AND middle names, without either of the moms knowing.

9.  I haven't seen or spoken to my mother's father I think since my high school graduation, nearly 20 years ago.  He upset me regarding my graduation, then he divorced his second wife whom we all loved and then he just sort of went away.  He is bipolar.

10.  Have you noticed that I haven't mentioned any siblings of mine?  That's because I am an only child.  Even though I had young parents who could have easily had more children in each of their second marriages, they didn't.  I have had some angst over this my entire life.  I'm trying to get over it.  Really, I am.

"Our most basic instinct is not for survival but for family. Most of us would give our own life for the survival of a family member, yet we lead our daily life too often as if we take our family for granted."

~ Paul Pearshall