At the Bottom of the To-Do List

You know those things you keep meaning to pick up when you go shopping? Things that you don't need very often, so they're not usually on your radar?

You think about them on your way out, "Oh, I should pick up ______," and then you kick yourself when you get home because you didn't.

What about things around your house that could use fixing, but just aren't a high priority? Or things you'd simply like to change, but the current whatever-it-is works fine, so you don't think you can justify it because you only want a new one.

Such as....

1. A new broom - the one I have is all just....yuck. I want a new freaking broom! But is that ever something I'm thinking about between sweepings? No.

2. Vacuum cleaner filters - Ours got so full of crud, and our vacuum actually got clogged and couldn't suck properly, that we had to have it serviced by a repairman.

3. A second hose for the backyard - because the one in the front doesn't stretch all the way to the back (thisclose) and you're super tired of filling and refilling the watering can. (And actually, we need a new hose for the front now too because Mark ran over the one we had.)

4. Speaking of the backyard, brackets to rehang the gate - thankfully my step-dad is a busy-body so when he and my mom were here for Christmas, he got out there and fixed it.

5. Those special vanity light bulbs for the bathroom(s) - there are currently 3 of 5 out in our master bathroom.

6. Dish towels - ours are so shabby. But they still do the job....

7. Gas for the lawnmower - I'll mow the lawn, but filling the gas jug is Mark's job.

8. A new kitchen faucet - we have a bowl living under the sink because ours is leaking. But it still works, and faucets are not cheap, so we wait.....

9. Honestly, I'd love to replace all our faucets AND doorknobs - besides our front door, we still have all the cheap, unattractive ones the house was built with.

10. We have two empty planter boxes - Mark built 3 planter boxes in the backyard but we've yet to plant in two of them. Need dirt, yo. In the smaller one I want to plant strawberries, and in the larger, other edibles.

The bottom line is that these things aren't really big priorities, are they? Food, gas and new shoes for the kids are more important, so that's what we take care of first. This other stuff is extra.

On the other hand, I know they're not BIG things so it shouldn't be too hard to fulfill some of them, but still. Somebody is always NEEDING something! You know?


Linked up with Monday Listicles - yay!

Half-Assed Housework

I think I'm really going to need that top to bottom housecleaning I said I wanted.

Because I have decided that this summer, I'm totally half-assing it.

I mean seriously, with the kids home 24/7, the house doesn't stay clean for more than five minutes anyway.

And that may be a generous estimate.

There's a well-known quote that goes....

That is 100% true!

I mean, I'm not planning to live in filth. I'm just saying, why take on any uphill battle that I don't have to?

There are things I cannot take a vacation from. Stressing about housework IS something I think I can take a break from.

I will keep up with the basics and the kids don't get off scot-free. 

I know! I'll do housework when Mark is at work. That's fair, right?

So if you come over and my house isn't spic 'n span, it's not that I'm a terrible homemaker. It's simply that I've decided not to care. For just the next two months*.

In July and August, while my kids are home and the sun is shining, I am NOT going to make cleaning a priority!

Is that wrong?

Ask me if I care.

Instead of fretting over a clean house, I will do things like read a book, go for walks, learn to crochet a hat, ride the bus somewhere and maybe take a few naps.

I will invite my friends and their kids over for play dates and I will go to their houses to cool off in their pool or have a glass of wine.

We will take mini road trips with my dad, getting to know our surroundings better.

We will go to the freaking beach because if we don't, my son might kill me in my sleep! (Yes, there are beaches in Washington. I've heard. Somewhere. Dad?)

We will garden and grill. We will make smoothies and eat our weight in watermelon and corn on the cob. I will take lots of pictures.

I am going to enjoy this summer.

Because after having two hellacious crises in two years, I, and we, deserve it.

UPDATE: I have decided on a hashtag for this little endeavor. It is #SummerSlackers! So who's with me??

*I honestly don't know if I'll mentally be able to do this.

I don't wanna! You can't make me!

This week's Listicle topic was chosen by Wendy at Twisted Domestic Goddess and is 10 things I would rather do than clean the house!

Since I'd rather do almost anything than housework, this should be easy-peasy.

That was said way back in 1966. Huh. So true, yet there's still so much guilt if our homes are messy. We moms (or just women in general) really need to cut ourselves some slack. Cleaning is not the most important thing in the world! Yes, it's gotta be done, but I don't believe we need to break our backs. Staying up til midnight should be spent watching TV, reading or hanging with the hubby, not folding that last load of laundry. You can do it tomorrow. Balance, people!

So, instead of cleaning my house, I'd rather*:

1. Watch TV

2. Knit/crochet**

3. Read

4. Go do something with a friend

5. Have "family movie night"

6. Blog

7. Tweet

8. Go for a walk

9. Take a bath

10. Talk to Mark while watching Top Gear or reruns of Family Guy


*My house is not a disaster. I do clean it.


**By the way (Jim), I'm working on knitting my second legwarmer.

TGIF: Zen Blogging Edition

Last September I wrote a post called Zen Blog Reading, in which I expressed how I do not stress about reading every single blog post out there and I don't think anyone should stress about such a thing.

Not that I thought my little post would change the world cuz it's not like anybody actually listens to me, but I am STILL seeing this problem among my fellow bloggers, and I just don't understand it.

Am I being naive? Is there something I'm missing?

I read on one blog that she doesn't think she has anything interesting to say.

I read on another that she needs to take a step back, that it's gotten too overwhelming.

I hear from others that they have such a hard time getting to all the posts they think they should and when they look at the number in their Reader, they panic.

And, I've also heard that some people aren't good at commenting and feel badly about that.

All of this kind of really bothers me.

Blogging is supposed to be FUN.

It is supposed to make those of us who do it HAPPY.

It's supposed to be one of the things that RELIEVES stress, not adds to it.

(Yes, even if it becomes more than just personal blogging, like if you start making money through, or as a direct result of, it.)

I've written before about how blogging makes me feel. It's all laid out in my About Me page. I feel like I have found my voice, something I'm good at. I'm thrilled to have become a blogger!

And I truly don't feel much stress over any of it.

Yes, if you want to be an active participant in the blogosphere, build a community and make friends, it takes some work...and time...and you could get obsessed with it all.

Layout and design.

Comments and commenting.

Memes and hops.

SOCIAL NETWORKING.

However, I am here to tell you that it CAN and SHOULD be BALANCED with the rest of your life.

And...

Wait for it....

You can only do what you can do in a given day.

If you simply do not have time to do as much as the next blogger, then you don't.

But wait, there's more.

You should not feel guilty about any of it.

Stop the presses!

I'm serious, people. Blog, read others' blogs, comment, tweet, stumble, facebook like, pin and link-up as much as you can and want to. What you give, you should get back. Don't worry that other bloggers do more than you. Don't fret over missing a week of Listicles or WTF or even my TGIF. While I would love to see lots of you here, I'll still be here next week.

I decided to zero out my Reader on New Year's Eve, to start 2012 with a clean bloggy slate. I also unsubscribed from some blogs I just wasn't connecting with (the horrors!). I decided to go to each blog and make sure I was following them on Twitter and Facebook, and then I deleted some from my Reader. After that, I went through the rest of my list, read and commented on some of the most recent posts, and marked the rest as read because I just wasn't going to be able to get to them.  And now, I have decided that I will zero out my reader on the last day of every month.

Because I just don't need a bazillion posts hanging over my head. And neither do you!

Honestly, some of the best posts I read, I clicked through to while on Twitter or Facebook anyway. The people I stalk love to read daily, I do that. Both ways of getting to posts make me happy.

And I feel like I'm a great bloggy friend. I tweet out posts I particularly like, if I read, I take the time to comment, I respond to all my comments and tweet the posts of the hosts I link-up with. I have been publishing Best of the Blogosphere posts every month, just to show my love for my fellow bloggers.

By the way, if you have written a post that you especially want me to read and comment on, tweet or email me the link. I have no problems with that at all. I've done it when I thought the topic might particularly interest someone.

I am no bloggy snob, and I think, for the most part, neither are others. (Maybe not even the *big* bloggers.)

I know this is getting long for a TGIF post, but I have one more point I want to make. My good friend Jenn at Fox in the City recently wrote a post about the idea that blogging is narcissistic.  I do not think this is the case, nor does Jenn. And honestly, I get a little offended when people say that.

I mean, I suppose it could be, and I suppose I can understand why people would assume that (whatever). But what I really think it's about? The actual writing of blog posts, as well as reading and commenting and sharing....is about VALIDATION.

Don't quote me on this, but I think Dr. Phil once told Oprah that the one thing all human beings want is validation. For someone to simply say, I get it, I feel you, me too, YOU'RE NOT THE ONLY ONE. And does it not feel good when you get that? It totally does.

I am currently participating in the 31 Days to Build a Better Blog challenge with The SITS Girls. The first thing I read in the book was about an "elevator pitch", and it was suggested that I ask a few people to describe how they see my blog. One of the people I asked was my Dad. He gave me an amazing response:

Well……..while it may have started as a way to vent and analyze your feelings, by seeing it in print, which has that wonderful affect of allowing you to be more objective, as you lose the mood you had when you wrote it and then read it again (payoff being that you eventually sense your true motivation for what you felt), the welcome surprise was that there were many people that related to your circumstances and felt moved to support you emotionally, bringing you great warmth and joy from the sharing.  This charged your batteries to continue the hard work of your day to day, knowing that you are really not alone.

My Dad said that. A man! Even guys can understand. This made me so HAPPY!

In conclusion, blogging is whatever YOU want it to be. There should be no expectations; you get back what you put out there. It shouldn't be a source of stress. It should make you HAPPY.

So what do you think?

What makes you feel HAPPY?

If you write a post, grab my TGIF button in the sidebar and link-up!

Oh, and speaking of linking up, did you see that nifty new button I have up there at the top of my sidebar? Please go to motherhood: TRUTH HERE and read all about what that's....about. Yeah.

My Priorities

I often get the impression that I have different priorities than others.

I am not a career woman.

I'm not a "tiger mom".

While I do have a crafty bone in my body, I'm no Martha.

I am a stay-at-home mom, and a good one I think, but not Susie Homemaker.

I am a woman of the 21st century who believes her fellow women, and her daughter, can do anything they want to...yet I've never known what I want to do (besides the mom thing).

I wish there weren't political parties, rather people who want to work together for the betterment of our country and the world.

I would love it if everyone could simply believe what they believe, feel it and practice it, and leave it at that.

I don't want to argue and don't understand why so many people do.

My priorities are the people I love and caring for them.  No two ways about it.

I think because I am married to someone with more than one health condition I just don't have the energy to spend getting all worked up about every little thing.  That's not to say I don't care about things outside of my own little world.  I absolutely do.  But the other things I care about still fall under the category of taking care of the people I love.

Such as education (my children), healthcare (Mark), housing (my family), the economy (everyone).  And I'm a bit of a bleeding heart.  I care very much about homelessness and hunger.  I just can't imagine how hopeless it would feel to not even have your basic needs met.

Our extended family matters a great deal to me.  My friends are a necessity in my life.

But still, at the end of the day, it ultimately comes back to my little family.  Nothing, no really, NOTHING, is more important to me.  If the four of us are OK, then it's all OK.  If we're alright, I can think about other things.  When we're not alright, everything feels off.  As much as I just want to stop and fix what's wrong right here, I know that life goes on and I have to push myself to go along with it.  And I know it's healthy to not dwell in your own little bubble all the time, so I don't.

My priorities lie with people.  With love, comfort, closeness, connections and relationships.