I think it is pretty easy to write a letter to your children. We moms find gushing over our kids to be like second nature. While I could totally go that route, I think it might be more important to tell myself some things.
Along this blogging journey I'm on, I 've found that some questions that are raised, some ideas or writing prompts that others might find cheesy or even to be cheating, will elicit very real thoughts and feelings from me. And I realize, I want to write about that.
This is just me being real. I don't intend to upset anyone or cause tears to flow.
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Dear Future Self,
You may need to read this from time to time, and in the event of a further decline in Mark's health or his death. Because when that happens, there are some things that you need to try to keep in mind.
You can do this. Yes, you can. And you will.
You are strong, smart, capable, loved, supported and enough.
No matter what happens with Mark's health, you and your kids will be OK. I know it won't feel like it in the moment, but you know it to be true. It's true even if the worst happens.
Yes, even if Mark dies. You will not be the first, last or only person to lose your spouse. It happens every day and people get through it every day. They hurt, suffer and grieve, then they move on with life, and so will you.
Whether it's another crisis or the end, you have enough wherewithal to deal. You will cry, get angry, blog it out, ask for help and hugs, be grateful, remember the good, and that will be enough.
You will hold onto your children and be there for them. Whatever comes, they will need you to help them know they are alright, that they are loved and they are enough too.
You will do all these things because you have made a choice to. You love Mark and you have bound your life to his. You will continue to ride this roller coaster with him for as long as you can, until it stops.
When the ride does stop, you will rest assured that you have known true love. You will know that you have had a very special marriage, a good life with a great man who gave you 2 beautiful children. Your heart will be full.
I want you to know that you did enough, you loved enough, you were present enough.
I also want you to know that the good times were enough to hold onto, to cling to, to cherish and to honor.
Last, I need you to know that when all is said and done.....you are still enough.
