The Mechanics of a Kid's Bedroom

So I have two children. A girl who is 11 1/2 and a boy who is 6. I love Camryn and AJ very much.

But they are kids and they suck at keeping their rooms clean.

This is no big shock. Only exceptional children like I was are capable of, or give a damn about, having a clean bedroom.

But I am inherently a hopeful person. Especially as my kids get older, I have the hope that this indifference to cleanliness will magically morph into, at the very least, a healthy respect for their own things and their own space.

And of course I MAKE them clean their rooms when I can't stand it anymore. In fact, that's part of what has led to this post.

Cami decided she wanted to rearrange her room. She no longer wanted her bed all the way up against a wall. a sure sign of some maturity, I thought. AJ had actually said something about wanting his bed elsewhere at some point before, but I dismissed him, saying the space his bed was in was exactly where it was supposed to be and it wouldn't fit right anywhere else.

I take my kids seriously only when they won't let go of an idea. If they keep asking, keep talking about it, then I know I should pay attention.

When we moved into our house, we painted two walls in each of their rooms and got them all set up, like so:

AJ's room

Camryn's room - we did get her some curtains too

Both beds are up against walls. Most kids like this arrangement because the wall offers a sense of security. At least they won't fall out that side! Also, it maximizes floor space for playing.

But for Cami, under and behind her bed have always been great places to hide crap, to shove things when we ask her to clean her room. It's so aggravating! For AJ, who loves to toss things around, many things have fallen down the side of his bed.

Back to the rearrangement. We had the kids clean their rooms and made an agreement that if they kept them clean all week, we'd rearrange on Sunday, when Mark had the day off. Much to our surprise, they held up their end of the bargain. When my dad called and offered to take them to see a movie, Mark and I decided to surprise them and move their furniture while they were gone.

I don't know why I was so shocked by what we discovered when we moved their beds, but I was. SO MUCH SHIT!

Not literally feces. My kids aren't that gross. But a massive amount of odd little things. Some not so little, actually. Like under Camryn's bed, she had pajamas and towels shoved under there.

I was remiss in not stopping to take pictures of all the crap, but I just wanted it GONE.

Legos, pens, pencils, coins, hair things, pajamas, stuffed animals, pillows, blankets, little army men and TRASH. Why oh WHY can't my children put trash in the can??

Ignorance is bliss, I tell you!

So this is what their rooms look like now:

AJ's - not right up against the wall because of the heater vent under the window
(sorry about the lack of picture quality)

Bed no longer in the corner

Nice big gap between bed and wall

I took more pictures of Cami's room and wanted to specifically point out the gap between the bed and wall because now she cannot shove shit and hide it. I am now completely convinced that parents should NOT put beds in corners up against walls. It's like inviting the child to hide stuff in order to create the illusion of a clean bedroom.

AJ knew he had dropped his Nintendo DS stylus down beside Cami's bed, but he didn't want to go searching for it because it was too scary down there!

Man, I wish I had gotten a picture of the heap of crap she had shoved there! Have I talked about it enough to make an appropriately disturbing image in your head?

Please, I implore you, learn from my mistakes:

• DON'T arrange beds up against walls.
• DO clean under and around beds more often.
• DON'T take a child's word that they didn't shove crap somewhere.
• DO accept that they do not care and probably never will, but it's your job to MAKE THEM!

Now, if I could only get them to hang up their wet towels without me screaming at them about it...