November 10, 2014

I Need More Time

I was supposed to have more time for ALL THE THINGS when my kids went back to school after summer break.

  • Taking my walks
  • Doing my chores
  • Crocheting
  • Keeping up with TV
  • Making family dinners
  • And.....
Things I want and need to do.

But just two weeks after school began my husband developed infection in multiple locations in his body, requiring a nine day hospitalization, including two procedures, and ongoing care at home and clinics ever since.

It has now been eight weeks of intensive medical care by professionals, and caregiving by me here at home because Mark needs to just sit on the couch taking it easy so he can heal.

For seven or so weeks my routine has changed so that I get up much earlier than usual every Monday, Wednesday and Friday to help get Mark ready to leave for dialysis. I then get my daughter up (so much prodding) and make sure she makes it out the door with her head attached. I am up for an hour and a half, then go back to bed for another hour when my son needs to get up.

Because I'm tired.

Last week, though, we got Mark's dialysis on-time set an hour later so he could start having  paratransit take him instead of my dad (who was getting up earlier than he needed to for work). This lets me get BOTH Mark and Camryn up at the same time, which gives me about 45 minutes more sleep and I only have to be up for half an hour getting them both out the door.

Technically I still don't have to be up for my son for another hour, so I've still been laying back down.

Because I'm tired.

The problem is, I simply need (and want) more time. A change needs to be made.

So today I'm trying something new. I didn't go back to bed after Mark and Camryn left. Instead, I started my day. I want to do this every Monday, Wednesday and Friday, because I have to get up to help Mark get ready for dialysis anyway.

You guys know I am not a perfectionist. I have proclaimed it loud and clear that I'm simply trying to do my best each day and whatever doesn't get done gets bumped.

Unfortunately, the stuff that gets bumped is often the stuff I care about. The activities that fulfill me and make me happy. Everything from this blog (yes I'm still blogging, but seriously, not like I want to) to watching Once Upon a Time to talking to friends.

Something's gotta give, and I guess it's going to have to be that other hour of rest in the morning three days a week. That shouldn't be too bad, right?

It might mean I consume an extra cup of coffee. Oh darn.

Will you do me a favor? Will you check in on me and see how I'm doing with it?
Hold me accountable. Am I following through on what I said here?

No comments:

Post a Comment