My husband has been in the hospital for a week now. He has had two procedures, one leaving an 18 inch incision running down his chest, and several cocktails of antibiotics.
He hopes each day might be his last (in the hospital, I mean), but then something else crops up.
Today is a regular dialysis day so they took him for the treatment....but his Quinton catheter is running slow now. Are they going to have to put a new one in? That's another procedure. Sigh.
I feel so badly for Mark. He isn't getting good sleep and he's hardly eating. A plastic surgeon was supposed to come see him about that chest incision, but just didn't over the weekend.
So yeah, hospital stays pretty much suck. And every time, there are many things running through my mind.
1. How long will this stay be?
2. Will he get any sleep?
3. Will I get enough sleep?
4. How much time will I be able to spend there?
5. How much help will I need?
6. Will our family and friends be available?
7. Will Mark be sad if I don't make it one day or can't stay long?
8. How much waiting will there be?
9. Will my phone battery hold out while I call, text and Facebook all the updates?
10. Am I neglecting him if I stay home with the kids and am I neglecting the kids if I spend time at the hospital?
That last one is the hardest. I think I do a fairly good job of juggling things, but it doesn't always feel like it. Pretty sure I drop balls here and there.
One thing that's interesting about this particular stay is that, except for the night he went into the ER, waiting to find out what was going to happen, I haven't been too terribly worried or stressed over things....
That is, until right now. Now that it's been a week, I can feel my feelings shifting a bit. That sounds funny, but that's how I feel. Like there's maybe a crack in my resolve. Like the voice in my head that's been telling me, "It's OK, he's getting the help he needs and they're taking good care of him and it's going to be alright...." is a little weaker.
We shall see....
No comments:
Post a Comment