April 16, 2014

40 Years Lived

Today is my 40th birthday!

Forty. The Big 4-0.

Middle age? Pfft! Only if you plan to live to be 80. I could live longer than that. I've never smoked a day in my life or done hardly any recreational drugs. I drink alcohol, but not excessively. I don't get sick very often, I've started exercising again and have accepted that I shouldn't choose french fries as my side at every meal. I've even managed to curb my sweet tooth.

Never mind that it seems to have just switched to a salt tooth.

Yep, I'll live past 80 for sure!

But that's not really what I'm supposed to be talking about today, now is it?

Crap. Does that mean my 40 year old brain is a little addled, getting off topic like that?

Shut up. Be nice to me. It's my birthday!

Unlike many other people who I've known to reach this age, I am not complaining.

I think I kind of like it here.

In fact, I feel somewhat accomplished.

In 40 years I have:

Learned to walk, talk, swim under water and ride a bike, went through my parents' divorce, fell out of a moving car, got my ears pierced, learned how to play the flute, relocated, hiked a few mountains, started dating, lost the sight in my left eye, terminated a pregnancy, worked at a movie theater, graduated high school, had surgery on my right eye, took college classes, worked as a nanny to twin babies, spent a month in Florida, had another surgery on my right eye, took more college classes, went to blind school, met the love of my life and moved in with him, took still more college classes, got vocational training and worked as a church secretary, got married and had a baby, went to Vegas, relocated again, had another baby, started blogging, bought a house and took a cruise to Mexico.

I have made many wonderful friends who I love like family, and had my heart broken in little, tiny pieces. I have made mistakes and learned lessons. I have had to say goodbye. I've cried and I have laughed. I've laughed a lot.

I have spent countless hours in hospitals worrying over my husband. I breastfed my babies. I have been pooped, peed, snotted, bled and vomited on. I've been soaked to the bone from rain and felt so hot I couldn't breathe.

I know how to knit, crochet, scrapbook, touch type, caregive, make banana bread and mow the lawn. I can write.

My life has never been easy, not even as a kid. But I have learned how to make the boring fun and the difficult a little less so. I know how to see the light even when I'm drowning in the dark.

My 40 may not look like your 40 or Oprah's 40. There are many things I haven't done, things I simply cannot do.

But my husband and I have made a life for ourselves and our kids. We struggle. We really do. But there is so much love here. I am so proud of us.

And I am proud of myself. I have done a lot of hard work on becoming the person I am today. The wife, mom, friend, daughter, blogger you see here.

Last year I said I was drawing a line at 39. I drew that line, have done all the things I said I wanted to do over this past year, and am stepping over it.

And now I will dance in my living room to Avicci's "Wake Me Up"!

Linked up with Pour Your Heart Out.

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