November 4, 2013


I never know what to do when someone disappointments me.

I have such faith in people, always giving the benefit of the doubt, that when I end up disappointed, I feel so dumbfounded by it.

My jaw hangs open. I shake my head. Shrug my shoulders. I stammer to say something, anything.

What am I supposed to do with it?

When you thought something was one way but it turns out another way. When you thought some ONE was one way but they turn out to be another.

It's just so very disheartening.

It's not because of expectations. Well, maybe it is, but only in the "I expect people to not be assholes" way. I will never concede that that is an unreasonable expectation. People should not be assholes. Period.

We can all be a bit thoughtless or inconsiderate sometimes. We don't always see what we should and react the way someone thought we would. But when it's only because we weren't seeing the whole picture, we should be allowed to say, "Oh, oops, my bad, I love you and I'm so sorry. I was shortsighted and I will try not to let it happen again", and be forgiven.

On the other hand, when you've given someone ample opportunity to see that they fucked up, that they hurt you, and they still won't try to make it right?

Then they are being an asshole and that is a huge disappointment. Especially when you've bent over backwards for them, given them every possible bit of leeway you could.

It hurts. It's not fair. And at some point you have to draw a line and say ENOUGH.

I'm done. I'm not going to let you do this to me anymore.

I have been witness to two examples of this lately and I am still shaking my head. It is so very unfortunate when someone can't set their pride or just general assholery aside and it causes relationships to be ruptured, possibly irreparably.

There is so much loss there. So much hurt. Scars form. Walls are built.

You may lose that person FOREVER.

But all you can do is insist on being an asshole.

I just don't understand.

No comments:

Post a Comment