October 9, 2013

Therapy Shmerapy

That would have been my response just one short year ago to the suggestion that perhaps I should seek professional help because I have some tough shit to deal with.

"Oh, therapy shmerapy! I don't need no stinking therapy! I'm fiiiiine!"

Uh hu.

There is this stigma attached to asking for help. To admitting when you need help.

There is also our own pride to contend with.

I never thought I was a particularly prideful person. I have bad eyes, so I have had to get quite used to asking for help from those around me. Sometimes I can't read something. Sometimes I need a ride somewhere....

But if I'm being perfectly honest, it's still hard at times for me to admit when I can't see something.

Am I more prideful than I thought because I didn't want to see a counselor (and asking for help because of my eyes is still hard)?

Or does it have to do with vulnerability?

When I make it known that I'm struggling to see something, I open myself up to questions, and possibly even judgment.

Getting therapy could encompass so much more. My past, present, future. My flippin' inner child.

I'll admit, the stubborn side of me did indeed feel like I should just be able to handle my life issues all on my own. That I should just be strong enough.

Finally, last year around this time, I decided to give it a try.

I AM SO GLAD I DID. Dragging my stubborn ass to therapy is one of the best things I've ever done for myself.

You know the joke that goes something like a patient has spilled their guts about something and the therapist asks, "And how do you feel about that?" and the patient is like *facepalm, "Aren't you supposed to tell me what YOU think about that?"

It's kind of true. Therapists don't have all the answers. What they have is an ability to be on the outside looking in at your life. They know just the right questions to ask you in order for you to find the perspective you need to process whatever it is you're dealing with. They get the human condition and they help you understand YOURSELF and others better. All of this contributes to a healthier heart, mind and spirit.

That may sound kind of froo-froo but, whatever. How it sounds doesn't matter. What matters is that I cannot believe the different place I am in now than one year ago. I know myself better. I am more confident.

Confidence? Me?? I have struggled with insecurities as long as I can remember. To be able to say that so much of that crap has fallen away is huge. HUGE.

Having a better sense of who I am, with more confidence, effects how I feel about the tough stuff my husband and I have to deal with as regards his chronic health problems, which is why I sought out a counselor to begin with. I'm not sure exactly how, but it does. I just feel it.

I have seen the light. Anyone who would like to say, 'I told you so", can feel free. :-)

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