Feelings.
Events.
Good days.
Bad days.
Thoughts.
Feelings.
You have two hours of quiet alone time.
Sit down at the computer. Click the Chrome button in the taskbar.
Open tabs for both email accounts, then Blogger. Check how many views most recent post has had.
Eh, not bad; could be better.
Open Facebook in another tab. Because why not? Check notifications. Mostly group postings or likes. Scroll through newsfeed for good memes to share.
Click. Share. Close Facebook.
I should really blog. Wait, better go through emails first.
Read. Reply. Delete. Unsubscribe. Delete.
Back to Blogger. Eye drafts.
Should I try to finish something or open a new post? Pfft. Half of my drafts are outdated or I'm just not feeling anymore.
Open a new post.
Oy. Where do I begin? There is literally so much I could say. But how much should I say?
Why do I seem to no longer know how to concentrate and put a string of thoughts together? Why should I bother to try to write anything if I can't do that?
Bang up job you're doing on this whole Genuine thing!
Sigh. Oh look, my coffee cup is empty....
Trot downstairs. Pop a K-cup in and press brew. Forget to place cup under spout because the mess on the kitchen table is distracting.
Godammit!
Dump wasted coffee from drip tray into sink. Pop a K-cup in and....(take two).
Sip hot coffee. Mmmm. Ignore table. Walk back upstairs. Sit down at computer. Move mouse to wake it up.
Stare at blank blog post. Try to hone in on what's on my mind.
Remember, you don't wanna force it. You believe in being Zen about blogging. It should flow.
Yeah but, there really is so much to say. I JUST DON'T KNOW HOW.
It feels like it will all come out as negative or cynical or bitter. Heh, remember on New Year's Eve when Mark muttered something about 2016 being better? You snorted and said, "I'm not gonna hold my breath!"
To paraphrase another blogger I just read, 2015 did its level best to make me more of a realist than ever before so I’m not really pinning a lot of hopes on "better".
What are you afraid of??
You don't have to have all the answers....
*beep, beep, beep*
Close Blogger. Stand up. Grab phone and coffee cup. Head downstairs to welcome Mark home from dialysis.
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