June 29, 2015

Some Things Just Are What They Are

While perusing my Facebook news feed recently I saw a fan page status asking followers what common phrases get under their skin.

Several people answered, "It is what it is." One person clarified, "Ugh, just change it!"

I kept thinking about this for hours. (Funny how something you see in passing will do that to you, hu?)

You see, that phrase is one if my life mantras (I have it printed on a mug, and would buy a wall hanging of it if I found one I liked), so I can't understand why anyone would be put off by it.

And the person who exclaimed "just change it!" bothered me because that is the exact opposite of what the phrase is about.

For me it speaks to the first line of a well-known thing called the Serenity Prayer.
"Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change."
Because, dear person who says "just change it!", there are some things in life you CANNOT change. Those things are what "it is what it is" is all about.

The first person I heard utter "it is what it is" was my friend who was dying of metastatic breast cancer eight years ago.

Because she couldn't change it. She, and everyone around her, had to accept it.

I hold onto that phrase to this day for similar reasons.

C'mon, say it with me....because of my husband's chronic illnesses. And heck, also because of my own stupid eyes. And, oh I don't know, because lots of things happen in our lives that you can't CONTROL!

Sigh. OK. Moving on.

Mark's diabetes is what it is.

His kidney failure is what it is.

His heart disease is what it is.

The loss of feeling in his feet and hands....all together now....is what it is.

My poor vision is what it is (I'm lucky I can still see!).

My "resting bitch face" due to the down-turned shape of my lips is what it is. I suppose I could change that by walking around with a smile plastered on my face all the damn time, but, um, no.

Acceptance of things we cannot change.



Not needlessly beating your head up against the wall.

It must be exhausting going through life not getting the sentiment behind "it is what it is".

I would have lost my mind a long time ago otherwise.

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