October 13, 2014

Ask Jen: Is It Easier to Raise a Son or a Daughter?

Reader Question

Asked by Tiffany (aka Kisma) of Sounds Like Life to Me: You are a mother to two, one boy and one girl, who is the easier child thus far to raise?

My Answer

Well this is a loaded question! But since being as honest as I possibly can is how I roll, I will answer accordingly....

Let's break this down, shall we?

Difficulties with my first born, my daughter Camryn (currently 14yo)
  • Trouble latching on to breastfeed (very stressful for a first time mom!)
  • SO HARD to put to bed (pacing the house or going for a drive, hard)
  • Slow to talk (although what she did say was really cute)
  • Ferocious at four
  • Diagnosed with ADHD at age six
  • First ADHD meds tried were a TERRIBLE experience
  • Struggles with school
  • Forgetful, unorganized and easily overwhelmed
  • Emotional (moreso than your "typical" girl)

Difficulties with my second child, my son AJ (currently 8 1/2yo)
  • Terrible napper from day one (gave them up by age two)
  • A somewhat picky eater (I wouldn't actually label him as a picky eater, but he is way pickier than Camryn)
  • Hard for him to control his anger
  • Still learning to be polite and respectful (mostly with family)
  • Big time fears of the dark and being alone
  • Pretty bad at cleaning up after himself

So you see, Camryn's list of ways she tests us as parents is a little longer than AJ's.

Of course her having ADHD isn't a flaw. It is, however, a big part of HER, you know? I worry about her so much more because of it. Everything from her grades (if she'll remember to turn her work in!!) to if she can find her shoes in the morning. Camryn is a freshman in high school this year and should be able to get herself up and out the door on her own, but I still get up with her to make sure she doesn't forget anything and leaves on time. Kids with ADHD are a little slower to mature than their peers.

So yeah, overall -- and so far -- I think my son is easier.

I don't know, though, if it has anything to do with gender. I suppose that will have to be up for debate.

But I do know that ease has nothing to do with love. I love both of my children to the moon and back, no matter what sort of hell they want to put me through.

If you have kids, is one easier than the other(s)?
Do you think it has anything to do with gender, or just personality?

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