June 4, 2013

Kids Do the Darndest Things

Let's explore a hypothetical situation, shall we?

Maybe just after dinner on a quiet Sunday evening you send one of your children up to take a shower.

Said child gets into the shower while you're downstairs in the kitchen cleaning up the dinner remnants and helping your other child with his or her homework at the last minute.

The homework-doing child is at the kitchen table. When you leave his or her side to get back to the dishes you step in something wet and ask, "Who spilled something in here?"

As you look down hoping to determine what the mysterious liquid is, you feel a drop on your head.

You look up.

And feel another drop.

"WT-?", you mutter.

Then, "Oh shit! The ceiling is leaking....from the bathroom....WHERE MY KID IS TAKING A SHOWER!"

Perhaps you peal out of the kitchen and hightail it upstairs as fast as your thirty-something legs will take you and burst into your kids' bathroom yelling, "What the hell is going on up here??"

The confused bathing child says, "I'm taking a shower. Duh."

"There is a leak into the kitchen!!", you exclaim. Then you look down and see that most of the bathroom floor is very wet.

Your other child observes, "There's water all over the ceiling...."

At first you'll be like, I'm not worried about the ceiling, obviously this child is somehow flooding the  floor so much it's leaking down into the kitchen!

Suppose you scream at the showering child to turn off the water and get the hell out. He or she complies, and not quite grasping what's going on here, very calmly grabs a towel and heads to their room to put on pajamas.

As you too grab a towel to sop up water, you yell to your child, "What the hell were you doing in here??"

Child yells back, "I dumno..."

Arg! Sop, sop.

You will lean a little to get the floor around the toilet and notice that it too is covered in little drops of water.

"Child! The toilet is all wet too!" You check the shower curtain to see if he or she had it hanging inside the tub properly. It seems to be, but the outer, decorative curtain is all wet....

Again, "What the HELL were you doing in here?!"

Quietly, you might hear, "Well, I did take the sprayer down...."

As this tidbit sinks in and you're still sopping up water with a second towel, you move over to the little heater vent and it dawns on you that this is probably where the water is leaking down from.

Say just then your husband walks in from running an errand and your other child darts straight to him spewing these exciting events at him.

You hear your husband say, "WTF?!", as he looks up at the kitchen light fixture and sees a little pool of water collecting in the dome.

You don't want your beloved to panic because you have already discovered the problem so you hurry back downstairs to explain....

But let's just say, that this does nothing to settle him and he too must hike upstairs to try and understand this crazy turn of events.

When he left to run his errand, just 30 minutes ago, the house was in good working order and everything was FINE.

You follow him and explain that your one child was in the shower, took down the sprayer, must have been a bit a lot careless and got the entire bathroom a little very wet.

Off to lecture the newly clean and pajama-clad kid your husband goes as you once again head down to the kitchen to assess the leaking situation.

You will remove the light dome and EMPTY THE WATER FROM IT. You will place a bowl on the floor to collect remaining drips.

Your husband will take off the bathroom heater vent cover and place a fan on top of it to hopefully dry things out. And lecture the offending child a little more.

Oh, and let's say that in the course of dealing with this flooding-bathroom-leaking-kitchen-light-fixture situation you also discover that the kids' sink is clogged and your husband has to go BACK out for Drano....

Because, of course.

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