February 28, 2012

I totally almost peed my pants!


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Guys, I narrowly escaped peeing my pants last night!

Allow me to explain. I was finishing up dinner (BLTAs - yum!) and noticed I needed to go to the bathroom. I excused myself from the table and headed upstairs.

I stepped into my bathroom and immediately felt my nose tickle.

No! I can't sneeze NOW, I've got a full bladder here!

But the sneeze was coming. There was no stopping it.

Instantly my hand flew to between my legs and then I crossed them for good measure, and braced myself for the inevitable by planting my other hand on the little counter.

Let me just stop right here and point out that I was STANDING RIGHT IN FRONT OF THE TOILET. Talk about adding insult to injury.

ACHOO! (Holding my crotch with crossed legs, trying not to fall backward. I wish I knew how to do crappy drawings for you.)

OMG I didn't pee! I didn't even leak!

I guess I've done enough kegels.

Yay me!

Funny Encouragement Ecard: Do your Kegels, dear. It's nice to have your vagina stay inside your body.

25 comments:

  1. Omg you are hilarious! I love your quote, and I love the one at the end even more. I remember being in my prenatal aqua class and they would have us do kegals in a row at the side of the pool. I felt like an idiot, but so glad they made us do it!

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    1. I had no idea how important the muscles of your pelvic floor were until having babies.

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  2. I just snorted from laughing so hard at that quote!! Thank you for making my morning and thank gawd you didn't pee your pants!

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  3. Replies
    1. Thanks for the support, Jim! By the way, when I Googled kegels, male sorts of images came up as well. Does this mean men should do them too?

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  4. I'm very proud of you! This is no easy feat you've accomplished here! :)

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  5. Bahahahahahahahaha!!!!! I now find myself doing kegals. Too funny.

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    1. Every time someone says "kegels" I do kegels!

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    2. I think every woman does that. Have you even been with a group of your girls and start talking about them and then someone says, "You're all doing them right now, aren't you?" And it's true! Everyone is doing them right now. I love how we can do them and no one knows.

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  6. Bahaha! I felt like I was reading about myself. Good girl! There is much truth in that quote. It is nice to have your vagina stay inside your body.

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  7. so when you were searching the internets, is it pronounced kegels like beer keg or keeeegels? I don't think I ever got that part of it..

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    1. It's pronounced key-guhl. Just confirmed via Dictionary.com!

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  8. Hmmm...I always thought it rhymed with bagels. I certainly hope there's a certificate you can get for this display of excellent kegel activity. Something you can hang on the fridge next to your kids' student of the month certificates!

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    1. It's apparently "key-guhl". And yeah, I should get a certificate!

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  9. You made me laugh out loud girlfriend! Hilarious :) Love the quote.

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    1. I was laughing at myself! Is that weird?

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  10. I feel as though you are teasing me with this post . . . here I have been tweeting about how this cough has left me ACTUALLY peeing my pants and you write about how you ALMOST did! Hell, I even created a hashtag for my issues #hackhackpee ! ;) That being said, you totally made me see the humour in the peeing or not quite, peeing of oneself!
    Jenn

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    1. Are you doing your kegels? I have not seen any of your cough/pee tweets!

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  11. ROFL....on my goodness, I am laughing so hard and I can't tell my kids why! Or is 4 and 2 too early to tell my girls about Kegels? LOL
    I'm not even entirely confident I can type my own reply before I have to pee myself.....because strangely, doing Kegels - makes me have to pee.

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    1. Well your comment is making me LOL! And sure, tell them about kegels. They won't understand and probably think you're crazy, but whatever!

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