August 18, 2014

Sometimes I'm a Bitch

Am I a bitch, or are you just annoying?

Of course I'd like to think that it's the latter.

If you're doing something that's irritating the hell out of me, aren't I within my rights to bite your head off?


Oh c'mon!

I contend that we all have certain things -- perhaps more than a pet peeve -- that get under our skin, make us lose our cool, and we really don't think we should have to apologize for it.

For example, I can get pretty bitchy when I feel like people won't let me do whatever I'm trying to do. When it feels to me like whatever they feel they need to talk to me about, or do that makes them be in my way, is a helluva lot more important than the thing I'm trying to do.

Children are excellent at that because they think they're the center of the universe.

I don't know what my husband's excuse is. Ahem.

Other things that will bring out my inner bitch? Being condescending to me (treating me like an idiot), lying, rudeness, passing the buck....and apparently I'm a feminist, because the continuing debates over birth control, abortion, the stupid "mommy wars" and equal pay, seriously piss me off.

My bitchiness comes out as super thick sarcasm, or getting really quiet, interestingly. I've also been known to stomp my foot and yell. A heavy sigh or groan, might get thrown in for good measure.

But enough about me. I asked some other bloggers what really gets their goat. Here's what they had to say:

I read your post out loud to my boyfriend so I could ask him and he immediately answered "I'm sorry, what were you talking about?" And just as I was about to punch him he pointed out that this was the answer to the question. I hate when people are bad listeners. I will just. stop. talking. ~ Aussa Lorens, Hacker Ninja Hooker Spy

When someone is both a control freak and incompetent. Sorry, eff that, not sorry. ~ Meghan Gray, Bloggie Love

I have a strong aversion to people who have to "one up". If something happens to me or someone I know and suddenly another person pops up with a problem or situation that is so much worse, but actually total BS, just so they can get attention...I completely shut down. I can't even force myself to respond. ~ Sandy Ramsey, Mother of Imperfection

My 6'5" husband walking in front of me because I walk too "slow"...really, how about my legs are shorter? RUDE...but otherwise he's o.k. ~ Linda Baker, LindySez

I do not have the patience for lies. When I know I am being lied to, I will be the biggest bitch in the world & I will ALWAYS say that I am justified. Lies are THE highest form of disrespect & if I am being a bitch to you AS you are telling the lies, that means that I ALREADY KNOW that the words coming out of your mouth are a lie. That just adds to my bitchiness: You thought SO little of me that you didn't think I would KNOW you are lying to my face?! Really?! Yeah. It's definitely lies for me. ~ Reta Pearson, Calculated Chaos

Narcissistic behavior. Carrie-Anne Foster, Path to Postive Living

I get bitchy when people patronize me and try to insinuate that I'm not intelligent because I disagree with them, particularly on a political topic. ~ Denise Scott Geelhart, Adventures of a Jayhawk Mommy

Ignorance. People who voice an opinion not based in anything, sometimes not even their own experience. Seems to come often from non-parents to parents. ~ April Grant, 100lb Countdown

When there is a line (like the deli at the grocery store or Chick Fil A) and people try to skip ahead. ~ Rachel Blate, Can't Google Everything

I have a theory about work- you can be good at your job and be an ass or you can not be so great and be nice. You cannot be an ass who sucks at their job and expect me to not be a biotch regularly. I will. Not because I want to be, but because I can't let up on you and have things get worse. ~ Anita Davis Sullivan, Losing Austin, Finding Myself

I can't stand it when people try to talk over me. If I am speaking (especially if you asked me a question) let me freaking finish my sentence before you start yours. ~ Kirsten Jill Robbins, Ripped Jeans and Bifocals

Rude people really take me there. Open your mouth and say thank you & excuse me. It's not hard. ~ Michellette 'Mimi' Green, MimiCuteLips

For me it's noises. People who play with pens, eat loudly, slurp their drinks, cough, or clear their throat persistently, hum, etc. I'm really sensitive to it, it will be all I can focus on while my murderous intent rises. However, I probably wouldn't say anything. I'd mostly just glare and huff, hoping they'll get the hint! ~ Jade Hamnett, The Chronic Chronicles

Parents who don't watch their kids torturing other kids at the playground really piss me off. I become a playground BITCH, and am more than happy to be the asshole mom who tells a kid to not push, if her parents aren't around (to be fair, my kid can't really do that himself so um, yeah, fuck those parents). I am also bothered by people telling me that they think my son will "catch up." People who ALWAYS need to have the last word, even when it makes no sense. Oh and my husband when he doesn't listen to me when I'm right makes me bitchy and sometimes I actually feel badly that I sound so mean to him, but how many times do I need to say "push "NAV" before "Next" Push "Nav" before "next" or it won't work." $%^&(#*)#! ~ Kristi Campbell, Finding Ninee

One man dared enter the fray:

I think my wife would say when I breath, that's very annoying. She also hates that I don't clean as I go when I cook, but that's stupid. ~ Don Re, don of all trades

Sorry Don, but not cleaning as you cook (especially in a tiny kitchen) IS annoying!

I must admit, sometimes I get bitchy just 'cause I'm in a bad mood or something. For that I do apologize.

Except....perhaps you should just stay away from me in that case. If you don't, and you get your head bit off, maybe that's actually your fault.


Oh c'mon!

What brings out your inner bitch, and what does she look like?

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