February 7, 2014

Well My Week Was Crap

I want to tell you....

I/we have not had a week as crappy as this in a long time. The "when it rains, it pours" kind.

I should be grateful things haven't been so frustrating in awhile though, hu?

OK, one thankful list item checked off!

And I suppose I should be grateful no one died.

Two thankful list items. Check, check!

Actually, that's not entirely true. Sure, everyone near and dear to me is still breathing, but my friend's mom did pass away on Tuesday. Which totally sucks for her and I care about her so I feel bad.

Now that I think about it, something did die: my husband's fistula.
A fistula used for hemodialysis is a direct connection of an artery to a vein. Once the fistula is created it is a natural part of the body. This is the preferred type of access because once the fistula properly matures and gets bigger and stronger; it provides an access with good blood flow that can last for decades.

Mark has had a badass, perfectly flowing fistula for 12 years. He has had no problems with it until now. It is the one thing that hasn't gone wrong for him in the last 12 years of being on dialysis.

Adding that to the thankful list! That's three things now, right?

But literally overnight, it shut down. Clots, calcification, what-have-you. Done.

This happened Wednesday morning after he already had a truncated dialysis treatment on Monday, coming off his 2-day stretch over the weekend. Monday's treatment was interrupted by tummy trouble.

Thankfully, he was able to get in for a make-up treatment on Tuesday, otherwise he would have had to be admitted to the hospital come Wednesday and still no dialysis.

Fourth thing to be thankful for! I guess.

Everyone scrambles and Mark gets in for a "fistulagram" Wednesday afternoon. This is similar to an angiogram and angioplasty they can do for the heart. But no dice. It's gonna need surgery.

So the outpatient surgery folks put a Quinton catheter into Mark's chest and schedule operation fistula-fix for the next morning.

I was thankful they went ahead with the catheter, kicked him out of the hospital without much fuss and his dialysis clinic was able to get him in for a 3-hour treatment that night.

Three more things to be grateful for! We're up to SEVEN now!

So you know how you're not supposed to eat or drink anything after midnight before a surgery? Well, that can be kinda tricky for a diabetic. In the interest of preventing a low blood sugar, Mark had a snack before bed and didn't give himself any extra insulin.

Turns out, his blood sugar decided to go high. This is apparently a good reason NOT to proceed with surgery (something I did not know). Mark took some insulin, but his sugar wasn't coming down quickly enough and we missed the window of opportunity with the surgeon. Surgery cancelled. Go home. Until next week.

The day before they practically threw us out of the hospital. Now, notsomuch.

Do you have any idea how thoroughly frustrating waiting for NOTHING to happen is? I think my dad wanted to punch somebody.

I whined for people to entertain me on Twitter. And they did!

#8 thing to be thankful for.

When we finally got home I checked the mail and found three letters from a certain government entity that has to do with providing benefits to the elderly and disabled. One of which was incomplete. It said there was something they needed to tell me, but then didn't. Weird. The other two said they are cutting our children's portions in HALF.

The hell you say??

Nothing, nothing, absolutely nothing has changed with any of this in YEARS. I couldn't even remember the phone number to call them because I haven't had to in so long. My and Mark's disabilities are so etched in stone at this point there should be no questions.

Yet some bureaucratic asshat has decided to screw with our stuff! And I had to sit on hold for an HOUR trying to get some information.

Which, you know, is exactly what I wanted to do after spending a completely pointless several hours at the hospital with my husband who is having thing after thing after thing go wrong for him this week, thus the same things are going wrong for me as well only in a different way.

*Heavy fucking sigh.

Oh, did I mention that my son's school bus came a couple minutes early Thursday morning so he missed it and I had to ask my sick friend to take him for me?

AND, I think my daughter now has the strep throat her brother has had.

This has been my week, folks.

I'm all sorts of pissy, but right in the middle of everything I got emotional about the wonderful people in my life. I posted on Facebook:
I am so very grateful for the amazing support system we have! It is so awesome to know that there are people I can call whenever I might need some help. Today Jessica took us to the hospital, my dad came from work and Carin picked us up. Tomorrow morning my dad will take Mark back for the surgery. Every single thing done for our family is seen and appreciated. <3
Nine things on the thankful list!

Of course all of this is making me feel so anxious and insecure about my upcoming birthday trip with my BFF. What if things continue on this track and I shouldn't leave? What if the bureaucratic crap means I can't afford it? What if, what if , what if....

I need a 10th thing to be grateful for....oh I know! K-cup packs for five bucks! Yup, that'll do.

I have hated this week, and I'm not sure next week will be any better since Mark still has to have that surgery. But I know my sense of humor and ability to be thankful for even the smallest things will get me through.

And that's what I really wanted to tell you.

Finish the Sentence Friday Ten Things of Thankful

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