The View From Here: I'll Be Home For Christmas

The View this week is from Robbie of Fractured Family Tales.

She is a very busy working mom of 3 with a little writer on the side. Robbie is one of the sweetest people I've met through blogging. She is heading into what could very well be her mom's last Christmas, so her View right now is tinged with sadness.

Let's read her words and send some virtual hugs her way.

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I'll Be Home For Christmas

Sitting here in the tan recliner I bought for my mom's visit last year with a sickening feeling in the pit of my stomach. We are leaving in six hours. 

Even if it were six days away, the heaviness would weigh me down. I'm not sure what to expect so I prepare for the worst. I still won't be ready.

In the darkness of the morning, we will carry pajama clad children into the waiting mini van and drive another three and a half hours to catch our flight. At least Salt Lake City is prepared for winter weather. 

I'll cling to the hope that we make it out of Denver but will be prepared for problems. I've learned this year that Denver International Airport is not my friend.

Dreaming of home at this Christmas time

Even more than I usually do

And although I know it's a long road back

I promise you

I'll be home for Christmas

You can count on me

A load of still warm laundry piled high on the forest green love seat across from me. The laundry that must be folded and sorted and stuffed into a suitcase before I climb into my black canopy bed.

I hope against hope that the blue gel tablets I swallowed an hour ago will bring the sleep that I am desperate for. 

Pine needles sprinkling the snowman tree skirt and the carpet beneath our nearly seven foot tall Christmas tree. The lights shining a rainbow of colors into the dark living room. 

It's empty underneath except for a few remnants of wrapping paper left behind. A wadded up white ball dotted with green hat wearing penguins remains.

We celebrated Early Christmas tonight. Big Yankee cannot make the trip this year. The kids and I cannot NOT make the trip this year.

 My view is distorted and complicated. My mom is sick. 

My family will be separated once more. It's a short term physical break that is growing into an agonizingly emotional hole.

I don't like the view from here. Yet I am unsure how to see things differently.

Christmas Eve will find me

Where the love light gleams

I'll be home for Christmas

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My daughter's first Christmas was her great-grandfather's last (paternal). Pretty much the entire Hall Family gathered because we suspected it might be. He passed away the following September.

I think Robbie's post reminds us to take the time to spend with those we love, while we still can.

More of Robbie can be found on her Blog and Twitter!

Who are you spending Christmas with?

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