How Irritation and an Insulin Reaction Turn Into Gratitude

My husband had a nasty insulin reaction last night. He hasn't had any so bad in quite awhile. He was alone downstairs after we put the kids to bed. I was upstairs in our bedroom watching Grey's Anatomy and Scandal, drinking a cup of hot chocolate and trying to get over how thoroughly frustrated I was with how our evening had gone.

I'm seriously more irritated than I've been in a long time, and to top it off, I'm sitting in a squeaky fucking chair!
— Jennifer Hall (@JenAnnHall) October 25, 2013

I was up there thinking how happy I was to just BE, me and the TV, and that yummy cup of hot cocoa. The stress of the evening was slowly melting away as I lost myself in my favorite shows....

It wasn't until the first commercial after Scandal started that I decided to run downstairs with my empty I Love Bon Jovi mug.

Mark was lying on his back in the middle of the living room floor. This isn't actually unusual of him; he often decides he would prefer the floor to the couch. So I wasn't immediately alarmed. But then I said something to him and he only half-heartedly mumbled. Still, I thought maybe he had just dozed off. Remember, his blood sugar hadn't gotten this low for quite awhile, so that wasn't really on my radar.

Then Mark made some other sort of noise and as I moved closer to him I saw that he was extremely sweaty. Then I knew.

I fumbled to retrieve his insulin pump from his pocket. I suspended it and got a cup of yogurt from the fridge. I was able to feed him the yogurt pretty well. I got another one, but he had laid back down so I waited to see if the first cup was going to help enough to make him more coherent. After several minutes, I could see he wasn't getting any better, so I decided to give him a shot of glucagon.

I know that will make him better, so I just sat on the couch and waited. After a few minutes he sat up.

I asked, "Are you feeling better now?"

He replied, "I guess." And then, "I'm sorry."

Mark often apologizes when something happens with him. It breaks my heart. He says he's sorry I have to deal with it. Well, yeah, I am too, but....I love you.

Somehow this segues into gratitude. Because I am grateful for....

1. My knowledge of Mark's Diabetes and how to help him.

2. Glucagon injection kits that I can be assured will fix him right up when food or drink isn't an option.

3. My earlier mood not being even an iota of a factor as I went into "help Mark mode".

4. Mark's body being so darn strong in spite of all it has been through. I don't even know how it's possible. None of us do.

5. My cat to keep me company while I fret. Cats may have snooty tendencies, but they know when you need them.

Know what else?

6. The ability to pause my show while my husband has an insulin reaction.

7. The store still had the Halloween costume my daughter had her heart set on.

8. Cheap candy buckets for only $1 because costumes are not cheap.

9. Nonfat frozen yogurt.

10. That I'm smart enough to figure out why my new blog header was blurry and how to set my old URL to redirect to my new one. That last part was a big relief!