January 28, 2013

One Word for 2013

So everyone not living under a rock knows about this idea of choosing a word that you want your year to be based on, right?


These are all lovely words, for sure, but none were inspiring me. The theme word of my life is balance. I'm becoming a pro at acceptance and change. Courage? Pfft! And well, besides the complications of having a husband with health problems, my life is as simple as it can be without being utterly boring.

I didn't think I could choose a word, so I basically dismissed the whole thing. But the idea kept needling at the back of my mind....

Word cloud based on my blog tags

Until one day, about a week into 2013, it hit me.

My word for this year should be HOPE.

Because I felt myself starting to lose it in 2012. It does not appear up there in that word cloud.

Many things/reasons/influences were all telling me there's no hope. Why bother? Get your head out of the clouds.

And I listened. I have been letting my sense of hope (can I call it a sense?) dissipate.

Last March......was just about the worst month on record. It was a big trauma and it has scarred us. (I still have more to write about it.)

Fear, anxiety and worry took over.

I began to think about my husband dying EVERY DAY of my life. He was afraid to go to sleep at night for fear he might not wake in the morning.

We are damaged.

Not only do our personal struggles lend to hopelessness, but so does the outside world.

Terrifying natural disasters, mass shootings, ignorance, intolerance, asshole politicians, gossip, loss of a friendship, your kid getting an F....

It really wouldn't be hard to lose all hope.

When my husband, my rock, the most positive person I've ever known, tells me he is losing hope? Well, I may have become an emotional wreck.

Here is where I put my foot down and say NO MORE. I will not let the whole world steal my hope, dammit!

I am determined to remain HOPEFUL. To not become bitter or resentful.

That's not to say I won't still practice a little snark and sarcasm.

But I will know, at the heart of whatever I'm feeling in the moment, that HOPE is in there too. For it simply must continue to dwell within me. Even if only a little.

And perhaps declaring HOPE to be my word for 2013 will cause it to swell and fill me up. And then maybe, just maybe, I won't doubt its presence again.

Linked with Just Be Enough, and submitted to Yeah Write #94.


  1. I am the same way...if my husband ever has anything but a rosy outlook on things...I have a complete breakdown....

  2. Right in! I love your attitude! I'm wishing you all the best!