December 19, 2012

Tainted Christmas


Is it just me or are others feeling like the joy is being sapped out of Christmas this year?

It feels to me like there are several dark clouds hanging over what is supposed to be the most magical time of year.

So much bad news lately.....a devastating hurricane, a supposed financial crisis and the most horrific of tragedies, a mass murdering of children.

There are also my personal struggles. My husband's struggles.

And it might all be for naught because the freaking end of the world is looming!

In all seriousness, these things are hanging over my head and dampening my spirits.

But I have children and so I forge ahead, trying to make Christmas as special for them as I can.

I may or may not also be trying to drag my husband kicking and screaming into some happy, desperately trying to distract him from what hangs over his head.

It's exhausting. I'm tired.

I love Christmas, for all the little, and big, reasons for the season. I love presents, lights, treats, carols, ornaments, cards, family, the Baby Jesus.....

But.....I hate to admit it....I didn't want to admit it.....this year is kind of hard.

If I can help it, my kids will not feel any of this. They will have a Christmas just like any other. Oh I am so grateful for them!

How do I shed even just some of this weight? How do I turn off my heart to the grief and worry all around?

Maybe this is just how I feel today. Perhaps as each day draws closer to Christmas things will start to feel better.....

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