I had felt grief, but it was naive grief, I believe. On the periphery, if you will. Before I had lost one of the most important people I will ever have in my life.
The quotes I shared before are fine. Good, actually. I mean, anything Elizabeth Kubler-Ross has said is excellent.
But there are several more that have touched my heart since my husband died, that truly resonate. That I have found and shared randomly but wanted to compile and elaborate on.
|For me specifically, my children have "mom's sad" radar and get very concerned and want to make it better. It's sweet, but also a little stifling in that it makes me feel like I can't fully openly grieve around them.|
|Before Mark died, I would see things like this shared and think, "oh that's nice".|
Now I GET it. It's not about canonizing the dead person. But you must remember, you must talk about them. Because they were human and you loved them and they mattered.
|I'm pretty sure my heart skipped a beat when I saw this. And then I thought, HOW have I never heard this quote before?? I wrote several years ago, quoting another poet, about the "depth and breadth" of our love. Mark and I loved each other unconditionally. We were best friends; a true team in life. If it hadn't been for his stupid illness(es), we would have been happily married forever.|
|I truly believe this.|
|I don't let myself cry so often, that when I do, it feels like this.|
|On the other hand, this. I know, and I know I will.|
|On the other, other hand.... See what I mean about the dichotomy?|
|Mark is mine. He is our kids'. I think when someone you love dies, that never changes. It's not like you broke up, like they're just not in your life anymore. They were taken from you when you didn't want it.|
|This poem was sent to me shortly after Mark died. This touched me quite deeply because it describes exactly what happened. I know that Mark is whole and no longer suffering, which truly does bring me a lot of comfort.|
|This sums it up.|
I do hope this wasn't a purely self-serving endeavor. I hope it was helpful too.