February 11, 2014

Feeling Strange

I'm feeling things I've never felt before.

It's like....a push and pull.

Like I'm cut in half. That there are two parts of me going in different directions.

The two "Mes" are struggling to find the balance.

The Me that has always been is firmly rooted in one place. She is happy there. She is comfortable. She loves and is loved. She knows exactly who she is.

The Me who is emerging is, at the risk of sounding so very cliche, unfolding her wings like a newly formed butterfly. She is testing them out. She thinks they're pretty. But they also scare her, and make her feel uncertain and unsteady.

What does she do with her new wings? How does she reconcile the two parts of her into ONE, fully formed new being?

I know I am allowed to change and grow. I've been doing it all my life, really. But right now, it feels bigger somehow. It's been slower before; feels faster now.

There's a quote/saying that goes:
There are two things we should give our children; one is roots, and the other is wings.
How do I do that for myself?

There's really nothing more I can say about this right now. That's where I'm stuck. It's strange and confusing. But I needed to say just this much. For now.

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